Recover

'I love you too Beth Bellingham'

He opened the passenger side of his car and I climbed in. The inside had been cleaned out especially I noticed, it had been vacuumed and I could smell polish and air freshener. It was a small car, boy racer type but I liked it. It was quirky and unique. We drove to the shopping mall and before I had chance to get out he ran round to my side and opened the door. He held out his hand, I took it and hauled myself up almost pulling him back inside the car!
"What are we here for?" I asked.
"A girly shopping trip, I will buy you anything your beautiful heart desires."
We wandered in, hand in hand and went into all my favourite shops. He sat patiently on the stools provided while I flicked through the rails of clothes. I dared not buy anything, I didn't want to spend his money and I didn't bring any of my own. He bought a few t-shirts and a jacket for himself but not before posing in the dressing rooms to show off how good they looked on him. When we came to a jewllers shop he sat me on a bench outside.
"Wait here minute will you?" I nodded and watched him run inside. He came out a few minutes later with a bag in his hands and a big grin planted on his face.
"Close your eyes," I did and felt a necklace being strung on my neck.
"Okay, open them now." The necklace was beautiful. A silver chain with a heart locket hanging from it. The heart was engraved with the letters love.
I gave him a huge hug and couldn't help the, for once, happy tears brimming in my eyes.
"Thank you so much! I love it. It's beautiful."
He bent down and kissed the necklace and then continued kissing all the way up my neck until he found my lips. I broke away, only because I wasn't a big fan of PDA and whispered "Later."
We did some more window shopping, I tried a few of the perfume testers and various new sampler moisturisers in Superdrug. He treated me to a make over by a beauty salonist who had a small stall inside Boots.
When I'd finished he found a coffee shop and ordered us a slice of mid morning cake and coffee. As we were eating we chatted and laughed. It was really nice to be talking about normal things, the little issues and quirks to life like who to vote for on the X Factor and how school starts way too early in the morning. Then conversation deepened.
"So...speaking of school, have you thought anymore about what to say? I assume you haven't had chance to speak to your mum."
"No, not yet. I'm not sure how to break it to her. I don't feel I can come straight out with it, it has to be done gently and calmly and I need to prepare what to say. Her and Ben's mum are tight."
"Mmm, yeah. I can be with you if it helps?"
"Thanks but no, it's something I have to do on my own."
We finished our coffees and headed back to the car.
"One more stop, not quite done with you yet!"
We drove for another 10 minutes and he parked up in a car park by a canal.
Climbing out of the car I saw the extent of the beauty of the canal. The water was glistening with the reflection of the sun, there were cow parsleys and buttercups growing on the hedgerows, colouring the place a lovely yellow, green and white. There were a few old moored canal boats with extravagant paintwork and names to match. A few older couples were wandering up the path but apart from them the place was quiet and deserted.
"Wow!" I breathed in awe. "This place is beautiful, I didn't even know it exsisted!"
"It's only really known by a few people, that's why it's so quiet. If more people knew about it the place would get trashed."
Holding hands again we began the walk alongside the canal. It was so romantic. The only sounds were the birds calling to one another, the sun was shining warm on our skin, the flowers beside us were leaking a beautiful floral scent. After what seemed like forever walking in heaven, Jamie came to a stop and led me through a small hole in the hedge. It was a like a mini secret hideout, a pretty log surrounded by trees and bushes and plants, no bigger than the space inside a small car. He sat down on the log and patted the space next to him, I sank down onto it, relieved to have stopped walking as my feet were killing me.
"Ever since I met you, I have loved every bit of you. I know we've only been close recently, but I've known you ever since we were both in middle school, and I want to go on spending the rest of my life with you. I get that difficult things have happened, and so I'm not looking for anything other than your friendship right now. Maybe, when you're ready, we could be more than that but I'm happy to wait as long as you need." He stared deep in my eyes and I stared deep into his. We became transfixed and even when our lips collided and our eyes closed, it felt like our eyes were connected and staring deep inside each other. It didn't feel repulsive or disgusting as it had before, it was okay and that was an improvement at least.
No one else in the world mattered in that moment, or several moments. It felt like he knew and understood me. I never felt anything like that with Ben. When we broke apart and my eyes re-met his, I realised how much I'd always loved him. Loved hanging out with him, flirting with him, and he'd always been there to listen to me crying or ranting when I'd fought with Ben.
It was the car journey home and out of the blue I said: "I love you Jamie Collins," I even suprised myself. I was kind of thinking out loud. Jamie didn't reply for a while and I was starting to panic that it was too soon but a few seconds later, to my relief, he replied:
"I love you too Beth Bellingham."
After parking opposite my house he took me to the door and went to kiss me again. Luckily, I broke free just before mum opened the door and I waved goodbye. He winked at me, got in his car and drove away.