Recover

'I don't think I can do this'

We sat on the beach for a while longer. He was still stroking my hair, my head in his lap, watching the tide roll in and out. As it got colder he wrapped his coat around me on top of my thin one and we walked back to my house.
He followed me in and introduced himself to my mum. "Good evening Mrs Bellingham, you're looking lovely." My mum blushed and curtsied. I wanted to die from embarrassment. He continued. "I'm Jamie, Beth's friend. I wondered if I might be allowed to hang out with her in her room for a while. Would that be ok?"
"Well, eh..Jamie, she's only fifteen and her younger sister is in bed so only if you promise no funny business. Make sure sure you keep the noise down as well."
"Of course Mrs B. Thank you."

We went upstairs and he ran me a bath.
He waited patiently in my room watching some car programme until I'd finished, once I'd got dressed I came in to join him and we snuggled up on my bed together. I changed the channel and nestled into his chest. We stayed there for ages. When the programme finished he sat up.
"We need to devise a plan. You need to tell your mum first and then you can talk to the head together. Then if you want, go to the police after that. I'll be right here beside you, every step of the way."
"I don't think I can do this." I ran to the loo and almost threw up, no sick came. Jamie rushed out with me and rubbed my back as I retched.
"It's just the shock and anxiety," He said, handing me a glass of water and a towel. "Has it happened before?"
"Everytime I think about that night."
"Maybe, if you tell me about it, it might help. You're going to have to dig it up anyway."
"Where do I start?"
"From the beginning. What did you do when you first got there?"
"Well, we danced and kissed."
"Yeah and then what?" He sat me back down on the bed. "Take all the time you need."
I gathered my thoughts and continued. "He started undoing my dress. I pulled away and told him I didn't feel like it and didn't want to. I stood up and started to walk away. He grabbed my arm and sat me back down. Then he pulled me in close and carried on kissing me. He slid his hands in my dress and was feeling me up. He got on top of me, pulled down my tights and..." I broke down in tears but quickly composed myself. "All the time I struggled and fought but he was stronger than me. He kept telling me it was gonna be ok."
Jamie wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight.
"It is going to be ok. I'm here now and I'm not going to let anything like that happen to you ever again."
We lay back down and I must have fallen asleep. I woke up the next morning with a note beside my bed. It was from Jamie.

To the most beautiful girl in the world,
You are being so brave and I'm so proud. Be strong and condfident like I know you can be. Speak to your mum today. Take a deep breath and tell her what you told me. Then hold your head high and walk into school with dignity. Show that pathetic ex-boyfriend of yours that you're not scared of him. Then you'll be able to enjoy the rest of your life and move on.
You have the strength to do this. I know you do.
Lots of love from Jamie xxx

Smiling, I opened my curtains and looked out across the view from my window. The trees swished in the gentle breeze, the cars zoomed past and the little kids toddled into the nursery across the road.
I put on my dressing gown and traipsed downstairs. Mum was making breakfast in the kitchen.
"Hiya love, sleep well?"
I nodded.
"You couldn't help us and take Paige to the loo could ya? She's just learning how to use the big toilet."
"Uh.. Yeah, OK. Where is she?"
"In the living room. Thanks love."
I wandered into the living room and saw Paige watching Cbeebies, giggling away at some apparently funny programme.
"Paige, do you need a wee? Let Beth show you how to use the big toilet!" I lifted her into my arms. Then noticed the wet patch on the sofa.
"Eew, Paige! Why didn't you shout if you needed to go." I let go of her and called for Mum.
"It's too late, she's peed herself!" I yelled. Mum came rushing in and took Paige from me. She ran upstairs with her and shouted:
"Keep an eye on the breakfast! It's in the oven. And clean the sofa will you?"
I grunted and went back to the kitchen. I peered in the oven and saw waffles toasting. They were done so I took them out and plated them up for us all. Then I tackled the sofa. When I had stripped the cover off and was holding it in my arms on my way to the washing machine the doorbell rung. Without thinking I opened the door and saw Jamie standing before me.
"OMG! Wait there a minute!" I shoved the laundry in the washing machine and washed my hands then ran back to to the door.
"It's ok, you don't have to be perfect all the time! I'm sorry for turning up unannounced I just wanted to see you again so bad," he grinned and pulled me in for a kiss.
"You can't see me like this, my little sister just peed herself and I haven't long been up. Right ehh...come in and have some waffles. I'll go get changed. Is that alright?"
"Yeah, of course. Have you waffles to spare?"
"Yep, have mine, I'll make some more in a minute."
I went back upstairs and spoke through the bathroom door to mum who I assumed from the noises of screaming and splashing was trying to bath Paige.
"Jamie's downstairs having waffles. Please don't be embarrassing. I'm getting dressed and then we'll probably go out."
"Okay love, we'll be out in a minute once this little madam's clean!"

I picked out a cute outfit to wear. Cleaned my teeth and face, did my hair in a messy bun, moisturised my face and put on my make up. I got dressed and joined Jamie in the living room. He'd tidied away Paige's toys and had a fresh batch of waffles waiting for me.
"Thanks!" I smiled and sat down. "You didn't have to do this."
"I know I didn't, I wanted to!" He handed me the waffles likes a posh butler. "Your breakfast madam!"
I ate with him watching me intently and so every now and then I'd feed him a mouthful. Mum and Paige joined us and had their waffles. Paige gave Jamie a big hug and a kiss!
"I think that means she likes you!" Mum chuckled.
"Paige lobe Jammy!!" After that Jamie was forced to feed Paige as she would no longer let Mum do it.
"Jammy feed. Jammy favite of me."
I translated for Jamie as he was looking confused.
"I'm afraid you've become her favourite!"
"Oh, well thank you very much Miss Bellingham. You're my favourite too, but don't tell Beth!"
Paige looked very pleased and hopped off then to find on of her 'fwends' to show Jamie. We made our escape.
"Thank you very much for the waffles Mrs Bellingham. I shall bring Beth back this afternoon if that's ok with you?"
"Call me Julie dear and that's fine. See you later darling," she kissed me goodbye and we left, glad to be alone.