The Hardest Choice [Mario Götze]

5. Facing the truth

I buttoned my jacket and started jogging to my car, as a few raindrops fell on me. I got in the car, shook, and as I fastened my seatbelt, I noticed Paige was running towards my car, waving her hand. I sighed. I wasn’t the best at being rude. I rolled down the window.

-       What? – I asked, staring at her.

-       You have to listen to me! – She exclaimed.

I groaned.

-       Oh, come on! First, you tell me I have to follow my heart, and now you tell me I have to listen to you? – I shouted.

She rolled her eyes.

-       Okay, can you come inside? Or can you at least let me inside your car? It’s cold outside and it’s starting to rain. – Paige said, shaking.

I nodded, expressionless, and opened the car’s door. She came inside and sat on the co-pilot seat. She fixed her hair, sighed and stared back at me.

-       Look, Chloe… – she started to explain. – I thought you made your choice already, but even if you haven’t, I already know what you’re thinking.

-       W-what? – I stuttered.

-       You’re thinking about staying here, I know it. I know you as if I was your mother. – She said. – But, what you really want is to be with Mario, that’s what you really, really want.

I sighed, as my eyes filled with tears.

-       You love your family so much, you don’t want to leave them, of course. But Mario… he’s what you’ve always wanted. He understands you, he listens to you and he loves you for who you are. – She said, as she grabbed my hand. – Your heart tells you to go with him, your heart wants to be with him. But… – she muttered. – Another part of you wants to stay with your family.

I didn’t know what to say. I never expected Paige to explain so accurately what I was feeling, because that’s exactly what I was feeling. I blinked and tears came down. I felt Paige’s arm on my back, rubbing it.

-       You cry because it’s a hard step to take. – She said. – There will be many more moments like this while you… make your “choice”. But Jesse and I will always be shoulders to cry on. We’ll be here to comfort you anytime you need. – She added, smiling.

I took a deep breath, trying to control myself. Paige sighed.

-       I think I have to leave. – She explained, incorporating herself in the seat. – Listen up, Chloe. Call me if you need anything. – She said, almost as an order. She started getting out of the car. – Remember what you really want to do. – She added, as she walked out.

I stared at her as she got out. She waved goodbye at me and I waved back, faking a smile. As I saw her getting into her house, I drove back to mine. My eyes weren’t filled with tears anymore. I was feeling empty. What Paige said to me… it was the truth. It opened up my eyes. I felt miserable without Mario. I cried everyday, I was angry all the time. I can say my life changed to better when I met him, and then, now that we’re apart, everything’s blue again.

I kept thinking about it on the way. I was home already. I ran out of the car, and rain had already stopped. As I got home, I realized nobody was home. They probably went outside. I checked my phone, and mom left me a text saying she went grocery shopping with Maddie, and dad was at the park with Josh. I locked my screen and started walking upstairs, to my room. I took my shoes off and hung my jacket. It had a few raindrops on it. I lay on my bed, and placed my head on my soft pillow. I stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

As for my choice… it was already made. But that didn’t mean anything yet. Someone was stopping me from achieving it, and it was no other than myself.