It's all still a bit fuzzy.
It's like looking through the window of a car on a really rainy day and all you can see if the distorted image of light.
You know there is light somewhere outside, but it's really hard to see.
It's like this now, but right now I am finding the idea of there being a light outside very hard to believe.
Right now there is no light for me.
It's 3:45am and I am in my pajamas, my Garfield slippers and a messy bun. I got the first thing I saw. My purse. So now I have my phone, a book and my wallet with $7 in it with me.
But I don't want to stay on my phone.
I don't want to read my book.
I just want to cry.
I just want an answer.
Why can't I just be happy for once?
With no complications?
With no obstacles.
With him.
I put my bag two chairs to the left of mine and use it as a pillow as I lay on the other chairs.
And then I start dreaming.
And then I start remembering the day I knew I loved him.
-------------------------------
~FLASHBACK ~
"Here I stand
Looking at you
I wish you were here everyday
I'm down to pieces
But all that matters is
You're holding them in your hands
All I want is your embrace
You could make my stone heart bleed any-day
Go ahead and make it brake
It's in your hands now
I'm all yours
Let me love you
Let me be yours."
I look at him with a sincere smile.
"Did you write that?" I ask.
"Yeah" he says. "That's kind of how I feel about you." he tells me. I smile even more.
"Kind of?" He nods to the ground.
"Ok. Completely." I laugh.
"That's beautiful William. I didn't know you were a poet." I say.
"Actually it's from a song I wrote."
"You sing?"
"I try." He laughs.
"Let me hear it." I say. He half-smiles at me and scratches the back of his head. "You're not gonna say you're shy are you?" He is very cute between these four walls, but trust me, outside of them he is very different. "I'm waiting for you to get out your guitar and show me what you've got!" I say in a funny way.
"I don't play the guitar" he says and then stands up and signs that I'm supposed to follow him, and I do.
We go to a room with a huge black classical piano and he sits down and I swear at this point I don't know what to expect. I mean, Robert plays the guitar wonderfully, so I figures, since the majority of people play it, William would also play.. Why am I so surprised that he knows how to play? Maybe he did a different lyric version to "Twinkle twinkle little star" that we all know.
But no. He starts playing and I can see his fingers running back and forth through the notes making a wonderful sound that reminds me of stars and love and the wonderful things in life and it makes me want to smile and cry but mostly it makes me want to kiss him.
It makes me want to grab his neck with both hands and kiss him while these notes are still fresh in my mind.
It makes me want to love him and let him love me.
It makes me want to let him know that he is the reason why from now on this will be the soundtrack to my life.
~PRESENT DAY~
Now that I think about about it it's not because of the music itself.
But because of the musician behind it.
But because of the poet behind it.
But because of the man whom I love behind it.
Suddenly a nurse disturbs my daydream and I listen paying all the attention I can.
"He's out of surgery. If you'd like to see him." She tells me. I stand up in a jump and get my purse. "Wait, you're family, right?" She asks me.
"Yeah" I lie. Then I run to his room and hug him and kiss his forehead gently.
The nurse looks at me in a disgusted face.
"Umm.." I hear her say.
"It's complicated" I say. The nurse leaves the room obviously ~finally~ recognizing that it was a lie, but a white one (if there is such thing).
Either way, I lay down on his bed beside him and cuddle with his unconscious sleeping self.
"Will, please wake up" I say. "I love you." I go on in the hopes that this will make him suddenly be ok and wake up to my warm embrace.
But for my disappointment that doesn't happen.
"I guess I'm interrupting something." I hear. I look at the door.
"Robert..."
YOU ARE READING
My Best Friend and his Brother (Complete)
Teen FictionMila has a typical teenage life. Her childhood best friend, Robert, makes her feel like nothing in the world could ever reach her, as long as they're together. But as her Junior year is almost coming to an end, she starts realizing that maybe, jus...
