Goodbye Cruel World

Part 7

He cheated on me. Alex cheated on me! How could he do this? I took him back. I trusted him.

I needed to talk to someone. Not my fake friends who are more interested in the condition of their hair than the condition of me.

I needed Dan. I needed to talk to him, needed him to comfort me and cheer me up like he always did.

I started walking towards his house, getting my phone out of my bag and sending him a text.

"Hey Dan! I'm coming over to your house if that's ok. I'll text you when I get there."

I was almost there. Everything that happened in the last few days kept going through my mind.

Walking in on Alex and some slut making out in an unused classroom. Him telling me I was worthless, unwanted. Easily replaceable. Trying to tell Chelsea, someone who I thought was one of my best friends, why I was so upset and her simply walking off with someone else when my voice became an annoyance. She didn't even try to console me. As far as she was concerned, it was far too much effort.

I got there in a matter of minutes, sending a quick text to Dan telling him I was here. I had to see him before I started crying again. He was the only one who could stop me from falling to pieces.

His parents were at work. The front door was unlocked; it always was. I ran up the stairs and to his room. A quick glance around told me he wasnt there. I decided to check the bathroom.

I walked towards the bathroom, a feeling of dread filling my veins. For a moment I hesitated, wondering why, but then my desperate need for Dan returned.

I flung the bathroom door open, completely unprepared for the sight that lay before me. Yes, Dan was there.

We looked at eachother.

He smiled at me.

Then the tiny flicker of life in his eyes left him forever.

"Dan? Daniel... Dan please get up..."

I stood by the door, shaking my head and refusing to believe he was actually gone. I didn't cry. I wanted to, but I couldn't. Besides, what good would it do?

I went over to him. The water was so red it was like he had just filled the bathtub with his blood. His phone flashed repeatedly. I picked it up to find myself looking at a picture of me. He hadn't read the text. He didn't know I was coming.

I picked up the knife and slid it into my pocket, something I should have done a long time ago. It was too late now. He was gone.

Gone. And nothing could bring him back.

I crept into his room, like I was worried I would disturb his ghost. I spotted a note. I identified it as The Note. The one thing people leave behind when they plan on leaving this life like this.

I picked it up and put that in my other pocket, not wishing to read it here. Another thing grabbed my attention. A book. His art book, to be more precise.

Should I look inside? He never let me see what he drew. Anyway, what harm could it do? Just a little glimpse.

I flicked through the book. It was almost full, which was strange. Mine wasn't even near half full. I didn't realize he drew so much. While the schoolwork was there, most of the book was contributed to drawing the same thing, over and over again.

As I flicked through the book, the pictures became more detailed and neater. Sometimes the style varied; some were ink, some were pastel, some paint. Most were just plain pencil sketches, but I liked them the most. I liked all of the pictures that Dan had drawn.

The pictures of me.

As I was walking out of his room for the final time, something else caught my eye. A bottle of pills. The label read:

WARNING: do not take more than the required dosage. Excessive use could result in severe internal damage and in extreme cases, death.

I scanned the ingredients, wondering if Dan was allergic to any of these things. Then these would kill him for sure.

I pocketed these too, feeling them knock against the knife. I wasn't too sure why I took them. Or why Dan didn't use them.

I took three steps out of his house before the sobbing began. It hit me like a brick wall and I crumbled to the floor. Why did I let him do this? Why did he have to go?

My life was empty without him. Alex had cheated on me and broke my heart, and only Dan could fix it. My fake friends wouldn't help. They would just plaster more make-up onto their faces to get Alex's attention now he's not stuck with me.

Dan. I was his sunshine. I never told him, or realized in time, but he was mine. And without him, I can't see where I'm going.