Goodbye Cruel World

Part 3

Tuesday, 4:30pm

Where was she? School ended an hour ago. Though after what I did yesterday, the chances of her coming were pretty slim. I stood by the front door, silently hoping she would turn up.

Another hour passed. I guessed she wasn't coming. I went up to my room and found my knife. I went to the bathroom and sliced uniform cuts into my arm, one after another. I took little care not to cut too deeply. If I cut just a fraction too deep I would slowly but surely bleed to death. Which was what I was planning on anyway.

I watched the blood pour down my arm when I heard a tapping noise. Was someone knocking on the door? I pulled my sleeve down to hide the damage and made my way downstairs, trying to staunch the flow of blood that was steadily dripping onto the floor and leaving a trail of red. I would have to clean it up later.

She had come. But why was she so late? As I opened the door the first thing I noticed was the funny look on her face.

"Hey sunshine. I didn't think you were gonna turn up."

"Hey..."

I tried to put what I had done last night out of my mind.

"Anything wrong?"

"N-no. Nothing at all. W-why would you ask that?"

She always stuttered when she was lying. It's cute.

I looked carefully at the expression on her face. She didn't look upset about something. Just worried.

"Are you sure?"

"Of c-course I am!"

"Ok Becky. If you say so."

She glanced at the my arm, which was

We sat in my room, an awkward silence filling the air. The bleeding had finally stopped, but my arm way covered in blood and my sleeve was soaked. It would soon dry up and become stiff and uncomfortable. Oh well.

"So... Anything interesting happen at school today?"

"No not really. We got maths homework but I didn't think you would want it."

"no I don't want it. I wouldn't be able to do it without your help, and even then I would fail since you hardly ever let me copy you."

"Well unfortunately the teacher made me give it to you..."

She said with a grimace.

"it's nothing too hard. Im sure you will be fine."

I sighed.

"well, I might as well get it over and done with."

Even with the company and help from becky, the maths homework took the best of 2 hours. When we had finally finished, I still wasn't pleased.

"Can I just copy yours?"

"No! That would be wrong. Besides, it's fine!"

It obviously wasn't. The spaces for answers were full of crossings out and scribbles, with an eventual answer scrawled in the corner. Not neat. Not correct. Not anything. Just one big mess. like me.

Soon after that, the time came for my sunshine to leave. I stood by the door, making feeble excuses for her to stay, but she had to leave.

She opened the door. She was about to walk away when she blurted something out. She had probably wanted to say this earlier, fit it into the conversation, but the opportunity had not risen.

As soon as the opened her mouth, the look in her eyes told me this was something I was not going to like.

"Hey Dan? Just thought you should know... I'm back together with Alex again."

How could she let him?

Did she want to be with him again?

Of course she did. She loved him. Something I never have and never will experience from anyone.

Wednesday

As absurd as it sounds, I had decided that I would rather go to school than be suspended. At least then I would be able to see my sunshine. But she would be with him...

12:30

My phone buzzed. It was a text from Rebecca.

"Hey Dan! Sorry, but I won't be able to come over tonight. I have some stuff that I need to do. See you tomorrow!"

I guessed that "stuff" had something to do with Alex. Eugh. I decided to text her back to see what her excuse would be.

"Its ok sunshine. What kind of stuff do you need to do?"

After sending the text, I stared blankly at my phone for a minute or two. It suddenly hit me how dirty my phone was. It was still covered in dried blood.

I sat there, cleaning my phone with a damp tissue when it buzzed again. It nearly slipped out of my wet fingers but I caught it at the last second and read the text.

"Oh I just have to run a few errands. Nothing special. I need to go now. Ttyl!"

I sighed and threw my phone onto the bed. Looked like I was going to be alone. So very alone...

It looked like my sunshine was fading away. Seemed like the skies are turning grey...

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are grey,

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you,

Please don't take

My sunshine away...

But Alex had taken my sunshine away a long time ago.

I just wasn't able to accept he fact I could never have her.

Ever.