The Dalish Warden (The Daughters of Thedas Book 1)

24: Morrigan's Dilemma

After we'd set up camp, Morrigan spent time reading the grimoire. Since she set her tent up away from the others, she knew she wouldn't be disturbed. Leliana cooked the meal that night, running Alistair away, much to everyone's relief and amusement. The man just couldn't cook. Sometime I was going to have to teach him. If that was even possible. I took some of the stew she made over to Morrigan. For some reason she didn't mind if I disturbed her, anyone else risked bodily harm. My intention was to give her the bowl and let her continue to study in peace.

"I have been studying Mother's grimoire," she said when I handed her the bowl and was about to leave. "Do you wish to hear what I have found?" She'd actually taken me by surprise with the question.

"What did you find?"

She set the bowl down next to her. "'Tis... not what I expected. I had hoped for a collection of her spells, a map of the power she commands. But this is not it."

"Disappointed?"

"No. There is much of interest within her writings, things I did not know. And one, in particular, I would never have expected. Here, in great detail, Flemeth explains the means by which she has survived for centuries."

"A spell of immortality?"

"If only 'twere so. Flemeth has raised many daughters over her long lifetime. There are stories of these many Witches of the Wilds though out Chasind legend, yet I have never seen a one and always wondered why not. And now I know. They are all Flemeth. When her body becomes old and wizened, she raises a daughter. And when the time is right, she takes her daughter's body for her own."

I felt my stomach turn. That explained how she'd lived for so long, but it was really disturbing. Especially now since I knew that Morrigan would be her next form.

"So why would she risk sending you with Alistair and I? Knowing the danger."

"I do not know. Perhaps 'tis as she said: the Darkspawn threaten her as much as they threaten anyone else. Or perhaps she believes that this journey will make me more powerful. According to the tome, if the... host... is already powerful and trained in magic, it takes far less time for Flemeth to... settle in."

"What do you intend to do about it?"

"There is only one possible response to this: Flemeth needs to die. I will not sit about like an empty sack waiting to be filled. Flemeth must be slain and I need your help to do it."

That was a bit extreme. And Flemeth had saved our lives at Ostagar. I was hesitant. She was Asha'belannar after all but Morrigan had a point.

"I'll help you if I can."

"Then what needs to be done is for you to go back to her hut in the Korcari Wilds without me. If I am present when she is slain, I cannot be certain that she will not be able to possess my body right then. So I must remain at the camp. Confront and slay her quickly. I doubt she will be truly dead even then but it will take her years to find a new host and recover her power. If that is even possible. The thing I must have is her true grimoire. With it, I can defend against her power in the future. Everything else in her hut is yours."

"I'll see what I can do."

"I am grateful. The sooner this can be done, the sooner it will set my mind at ease."

I nodded then walked over to my tent to find Alistair waiting for me.

"You know... maybe this isn't the best time to be thinking about this but I've something to ask you," he said.

"Alright."

"Chances are we'll be heading to Denerim soon and when we're there I wonder if we might be able to... look someone up?"

"You have a friend outside the Grey Wardens?" I meant it teasingly, but I could see he was serious and he looked as if he wasn't sure he should be asking anyway. I was actually surprised at how comfortable I was around him. I would never have dreamed I'd be friends with a Shem.

"I'm not talking about a friend, exactly. And, no, it's not that sort of friend, either."

"Good to know."

"Thing is, I have a sister." So he did have a sister. It wasn't a desire, but an actual truth. "A half-sister. I told you about my mother, right? She was a servant at Redcliffe Castle and she had a daughter... only I never knew about her. I don't think she knew about me, either. They kept my birth a secret, after all. But after I became a Grey Warden, I did some checking and... well, I found out she's still alive. In Denerim."

"Have you contacted her?"

"No, I thought about writing her but I never did. And then we were called down to Ostagar and I never got the chance. She's the only real family I have left, the only one not mixed up in the whole royal thing. I've just been thinking that... maybe it's time I went to see her. With the Blight coming and everything, I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to see her. Maybe I can help her, warn her about the danger. I don't know."

"If you want to, we could try."

His face brightened. "Could we? I'd appreciate that. If something happened to her and I never went to at least see her, I don't know if I could forgive myself. Her name is Goldanna," He seemed to have forgotten about the Fade episode. Or maybe he rather have forgotten about it. He was quite embarrassed that he'd fallen for the trick. But if he had forgotten that might have explained why he hadn't said anything about my father being a Mage. Or he was afraid to ask. "I think she remarried but still lives outside the Alienage. If we're in the area, then... well, it's worth a look."

We then fell into a conversation about our respective training. He was curious about the Dalish and our customs. I ended up explaining our gods to him and what my vallaslin meant. I explained to him that while mine represented Andruil, the Goddess of the Hunt, there were many gods with many different vallaslin. Alistair, in turn, explained to me how Templar abilities worked. He said while many had to actually ingest Lyrium for their powers to work, he was one of the rare ones that only had to have it close to him. Then the conversation turned to talk about home.

"I never really felt at home anywhere, though, until I joined the Grey Wardens," he said. "And Duncan felt my Templar abilities might be useful for when we encountered Darkspawn magic, so I kept it up. What about you? Do you have anywhere you consider home?"

"I guess my home is with the Grey Wardens now." I wasn't sure if I could ever go back to being a Dalish Hunter after this. I had come accustomed to war and traveling in the few months since leaving home. "With you." The last was out before I could stop it. We had been through so much together, I couldn't imagine being without him as a companion. And we shared the burden of being the last Grey Wardens. Those two little words took Alistair by surprise as well.

"It is? I ... didn't know you felt that way," he said. "We won't always be traveling like this, you know. Once the war is over, once the Blight is... well, a time will come when we'll have to think about having a real home again. Though, that seems like a far ways off. And I suppose the Grey Wardens are gone for good, either way."

"They can be rebuilt," I said.

"I suppose you're right. We can create new Grey Wardens but we'll never get back those we lost. I wonder if it would ever feel the same?"

"I don't know."

We fell into silence before Alistair volunteered to take the first watch with Sten. We still had a long way to go before we reached Redcliffe.