The Dalish Warden (The Daughters of Thedas Book 1)

65: Realin's Choice

Soundtrack:

Nevermore ~ Adrian von Ziegler (Between Life and Death)

I wasn't exactly sure where I was. Was this the Beyond? One moment I'm on top of Fort Drakon killing a tainted Old God dragon and the next I'm in the Brecilian Forest. For the first time in over a year, I felt at peace. My fight or flight reflexes weren't engaged. I didn't feel like I would walk into an ambush at any moment. Had I truly ventured into the Beyond? Had I made the ultimate sacrifice? I was a Grey Warden. Sacrifice was what we did. And I would have gladly made that sacrifice if it meant the Blight would be stopped. Although it saddened me that I wouldn't get to see my mother and sister and Clan again. I stopped when I saw Tamlen, looking exactly how I remembered him. Blond hair. Charming smile. Bright eyes that danced when he smiled. I knew I had to be dead then. That Morrigan's ritual had failed.

He took my hand. "I did not expect to see you again so soon," he said. "I expected to wait on you for many a year."

"You were waiting for me?"

"Of course. So many things were left unsaid before my mistake. I should have listened to you, Realin. You were always the cautious one. And you were rarely wrong. If I had listened to your warning, so much could have been avoided. We would still be hunting together and you would not have had to kill me."

I bit my lip and looked down. That had been the hardest thing I had ever done. Well, one of them.

Tamlen lifted my chin. "Do not blame yourself. You have carried that guilt since the day you left to become a Warden. It was my mistake, not yours. And you shouldn't have had to pay the price. I loved you. I should have turned back and made sure you would be safe. Instead, I wanted glory. It is you the mistrals will sing about, not me."

"I will be forgotten over time."

Tamlen took my other hand to where he was holding both of them. "Isn't that the fate of us all? To be forgotten." He had a point.

"Realin!"

I paused. Alistair?

"We can spend eternity together now. In the Beyond."

"No! Realin! Oh, Maker! No!" Why was I hearing Alistair?

An Elf approached us. He was tall and dark, unusual for one of the Elvhenan. I knew him right away as Falon'Din. Friend of the Dead. One of our gods. And I realized then that maybe the history we had gathered about our gods might have been wrong.

"You have a choice to make, young one," he said, his voice deep. "You hover between life and death. Your willpower is allowing your heart to beat yet you have come here. You cannot be in both worlds. You must choose one."

"Please, Realin. Don't leave me like this. You can't leave me like this."

That explained why I was hearing Alistair's voice. Do I choose death and an eternity with Tamlen? Or do I chose life and the pain of seeing the man I love wed and have a child with another?

"I..." I looked at Tamlen.

"Please, Realin. Don't give up now. You've come too far."

"I... I can't, Tamlen."

"You've done what you set out to do," Tamlen said. "You've slain the Archdemon."

"But I cannot choose death."

Tamlen nodded. "I will not force you to."

"Maker, please! Don't take her from me! Please!" I could hear the grief in Alistair's voice as he begged my life of his god.