All Over Again

| Chapter Twenty-Six |

The weekend came and went much quicker than any student could have been anticipating for the semester. It usually happened this way after the first quarter of school was over with, but it still didn't make the knowledge any easier to digest. After the weekend Ruth had though, she was more than looking forward to Monday to come.

Ruth had a very impactful Friday, and that settled into the weekend with back and forth texts between her and Raffo. It started Saturday afternoon, about an hour or two into Ruth's rigorous writing routine, and she was just finished basking in the warmth of the sunrays through her bedroom window when her phone buzzed. She had rolled over onto her back with curiosity and unlocked the screen to see a text from Sasquatch.

It was their usual banter, nothing serious about the conversation at all. In fact, her favorite conversation was over Raffo's embarrassing gush over actress Zoe Saldana after he watched Avengers: Infinity War for the first time. His anguish over her ends made her erupt into a fit of giggles.

Sasquatch: I know you're laughing at me Tiny. I can feel it.

Ruth: It kills me that half the population is gone and YOU only care about Gamora's death. Seems pretty selfish to me *sips tea*

Sasquatch: Um last time I checked, none of those people are Zoe Saldana. So enjoy your tea

Ruth: You know what the real travesty is? How we're just NOW getting fiiiiiine Chris Evans with facial hair.

Sasquatch: . . . what about him having facial hair?

Ruth had grinned. She vaguely remembered the conversation of his inability to grow proper facial hair and wondered if this bugged him.

Ruth: Nothing. Just that he looked handsome with it and we didn't get to see it until this movie

Sasquatch: Too bad he has a baby face without it. Only real men can rock no facial hair

Raffo did look pretty gorgeous without facial hair.

Ruth: Ouch, Leflore. Hater much?

Sasquatch: Only when it comes to people you think are hotter WITH facial hair. It feels personal

Ruth: Omg it's not personal!! I must be the bigger person here then cuz I still think Zoe Saldana's character is awesome and hot either way

Sasquatch: I rest my case on why her death was more sad then

And from then on, they talked about weird shit like that. There was some subtle flirting, but no talk of what happened between the two of them at the courts, and she was okay with that. She didn't need to talk about it. They kissed, they both enjoyed it, and they want to see where things will lead in between kisses. What more was there to talk about right then?

Nothing yet. She still hadn't received her letter from any colleges and she was nearing the end of the story for the contest. Why shouldn't she enjoy some much needed Raffo attention?

The thought circulated Ruth's brain as she scribbled her fourth to last chapter outline in her notebook. She had a vague idea on how she wanted it to go, but sometimes ending a story was harder for her than starting one. Most people struggled with the first few chapters, but that was always easy for her. Those chapters were like a dream to her. She always wrote them down like her brain was shouting at her to before she forgets.

So caught up in the expanse of the outline, she didn't notice the dark eyes peering over her shoulder until she was already flinching back.

"Oh," Ruth blinked, then smiled. "Hey Emily."

Emily's smile was sweet. "Hey. Whatchya writing? Doesn't seem like chemistry notes to me."

"They're not," she admitted. "It's a piece that I'm doing for a contest, actually."

"Oh? The one with ads around campus right now?"

"The very one."

Emily cocked her head to the side. "I mean, I haven't known you for very long, but I didn't know you liked to write."

Ruth skimmed her pen along the metal ringlets on the side of her notebook. "I love it. I use it as my outlet for stress, kind of like a hobby. But if I could . . . I'd pursue a career in it."

What she wasn't prepared for, was the confession of the next seven words to leave her mouth. Sure she had thought it before, but saying it out loud to Emily made it feel more real.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to," she admitted, biting the corner of her lip.

"Really?" Emily's eyebrows rose. "Why?"

Ruth shrugged half-heartedly. "I don't really know. It just feels . . . right, I guess. It makes me wonder if pursuing nursing is a mistake."

She hadn't admitted that out loud before. She briefly wondered where the hell that came from and if it had anything to do with this little project of her. Sure, she found her old love for writing again. But was it enough to make such a strong claim?

And what would her mother think?

"Well, I don't think you're making a mistake," Emily murmured, reclaiming Ruth's attention. Her eyes were full of seriousness, like she had this conversation before and she firmly stood by her beliefs in it. "You're doing the right thing, Ruth. Nursing is much more practical than writing, and you'll always have a job no matter where you go. The money is guaranteed."

"But I don't care about how much money I make."

"You should if you want to live in places like New York," she pointed out. "Look, I'm not saying it to be mean. It's just, I've seen people take the artist route and it's not always what it's cracked up to be. For writing it's probably even more scarce because unless you're a bestseller, writing won't pay the bills. But nursing? Nursing will."

Ruth sucked in a harsh breath at that. It was a painful reality of why some things should just stay hobbies or side jobs. Her chances of making it as a writer was lower because not only was she a woman, but she was a woman of color, born of two backgrounds that rarely beat the odds. She was Black and Indigenous, a combination that didn't often make the light. Not when readers still wanted to read about White love interest and White couples. People only wanted to see her culture as the comedic relief, the best friend, the second love interest in a love triangle that the main character never chooses, even if he was the healthier choice.

She didn't fit into that world. And she was glad Emily reminded her of that.

Even if it broke her heart to admit it to herself.

"You're right," Ruth agreed, closing her notebook.

She kept it closed for the rest of class, Emily's words heavy on her mind.

*****