All Over Again

| Chapter Twenty-Seven |

The harsh words of Emily Bautista were still floating around Ruth's mind as she absentmindedly left their first study session for the midterm. They didn't stay around for very long, maybe a little more than an hour, but it was enough time to get some studying done and for Ruth to forget about her lack of a future with writing. She thought she came to peace with this a long time ago, but it seemed like Raffo's confidence in her gave her some hope.

What Emily said wasn't anything she hadn't heard before. It was the same talk she had with her mother years ago, when Ruth boldly claimed that she wanted to be an author when she grew up. She got a scoff, a reprimand for having a silly dream, and was told that she'd pursue something in the medical field if she expected to get her school paid for. She hadn't known what that meant at the time, but she conformed to her mother's idea, desperate to make the cold woman happy.

And the brief talk with Emily brought all of those hurtful memories back.

Trying to ignore the jabs, she smoothed out her tied t-shirt, messing with the little bundle. It helped distract her mind as she scanned the campus, her gaze unseeing. It wasn't until her gaze clashed with a familiar pair of almond-shaped chestnuts that she swore time had stopped for her through the vacancy. Was she breathing? She couldn't have been . . . not with him staring at her the way that he was.

He was in the middle of a conversation with Mirana. She looked cute in her pastel plaid dress and black booties, her hair twisted elegantly underneath a clip. Ruth touched her own unruly curls, kneaded in a long braid that had curls escaping the woven pieces. She wondered if her hair looked messy, if wearing a knotted band shirt and ripped black jeans was too boring compared to pink plaid, and if no make-up, like what she went for, was better than a sparkly glamor.

She didn't like the constant comparisons her mind was trying to conjure up that day, but Emily wounded her confidence, and it bled into everything else.

The lack of confidence didn't last very long, however, as she watched Raffo turn away from Mirana with an offhanded 'I'll catch you later' before he beelined in her direction. Startled, Ruth briefly glanced at the girl whose eyes were full of confusion at first. It took her a second to move, but eventually, her eyes followed his line of sight until she landed on Ruth. She looked like she she could barely move an inch. Uncomfortable with the frozen stare, Ruth turned her attention back to Raffo, noting how good he looked.

Most of his hair was flopped to one side purposely, shielding his face from part of the world by leaving it open on the other side for the sun to caress. His plain, grey long-sleeve was bunched up on his strong forearms, his medallion laying casually over the center of his chest per usual, and a pair of blue jeans covering his long legs. Her appreciation was enough to distract her from everything else going on for her. Emily disappeared along with Mirana. Only Raffo remained.

His smile sent her poor heart to space with Neil Armstrong.

"Hey," he greeted, stopping in front of her. His eyes took in her tied band t-shirt and the corners of his lips tilted up slightly.

Tenderly, Raffo reached out a hand and tugged on it. "Nice shirt."

She smiled, her relief hopefully not so embarrassingly evident in her voice. "My dad gave it to me. Told you I was a big Redbone fan."

Her words satisfied him. "Like I said, you make it hard to be just friends," he teased, nodding over to her favorite picnic bench by the tree. "Ready to tell me about that impossible chapter you needed help with?"

Suddenly insecure, she tried to find a reason to back out of it. A sense of panic and shame boiled in her stomach, the mix not a great combination. "Well—it's fine. I mean, I'll probably figure it out soon. We don't have to—"