Me Myself & Regret

how I feel

What did you want to be when you were younger?

I bet it was something silly, like an astronaut.

That didn't turn out all too well though...did it?

Now, the days tick on like the smallest hand of an analog clock- passing over line after line because you've seen them so many times that they're just not exciting enough to make you stop anymore.

Everything today is exactly the same as it was yesterday.

You wind yourself up and go in circles.

You know you're not heading anywhere in particular, but that's never stopped you before.

Because you know deep within your heart, that you determine how everything else moves.

If you don't do your job, the more important cogs in the machine, won't be able to do theirs.

Move faster!

Move quicker!

The world stops existing the second you believe it to not exist!

Don't let all of it die!

We're built around you!

It's built around you.

Why in this room full of things to make you happy, do you still struggle to find your place?

Why.

Why do you refuse to grow?

Be a tree.

Why can't you not sit back, and accept that you are the queen here.

There is no god.

There is no heaven.

There is no Hell.

There's just this.

Love it.

Cherish it.

Embrace it.

For it is all you have now.

Those days when you were younger, when you were still unable to touch the tips of your fingers together as they curled around the pole of a stop sign.

Those days are gone.

Now, your hands are bigger.

Your body is stronger.

It doesn't grow as much anymore but, your mind still does.

You know things now.

Not to touch the stove when it's on.

Not to put metal in microwaves.

Not to pull on a cat's tail.

Things you had to learn because that's just how the world works.

And now.

You're here again.

Hiding away in the darkest corners of your mind.

Distracting yourself with thoughts of better days. Because you're afraid of opening your eyes abd seeing how terrible it has all become.

You are no astronaut.

You're just another piece in a much bigger puzzle.

It always comes back to puzzles, doesn't it?

I don't want you here anymore.

Open your eyes.

Unfortunately, the clock is ticking.