𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 ✓

Chapter Four

"You really think that I don't know about you and the next door lady. I'm not a little girl anymore dad. I notice things." He stayed quiet so I took this chance to walk upstairs and to my room.

I stepped into my room and closed the door behind me taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

The phone rings. For some reason, I'm scared to answer. I reached towards it and answer.

"Hello?" A deep voice answers from the other side.

"Hey, Amaryllis, it's Alexander." My mood lifted immediately and I physically relaxed not noticing how tense I was.

"Hey."

"So, um, I don't actually know why I'm calling, but  I guess it's because I just really want to hear your voice." I blushed profusely. My smile grew bigger.

"I see. I'm going to be honest with you, I kind of wanted to hear your voice too." He laughed lightly. I wasn't lying. I did want to hear his voice, but I also wanted to hold his hand and hug him and run my hands through his silky dark hair.

"Is that so. I was wondering if maybe on Sunday we could go to the carnival. Maybe next Sunday instead, I just remembered I have something to do this Sunday." He laughed and I laughed. I wish I could see his smile and his gorgeous green eyes.

"Next Sunday is fine with me." I smile intently remembering that I'll be able to see him in a few days.

4/21/98

Alexander

It was barely Tuesday. I was anxious for Saturday so I could see Amaryllis. Conner noticed how anxious I was. He simply just laughed.

"I don't understand what's so special about this girl. I mean she can't be that special, you haven't even told your mom about her."

"She just is, okay. Plus, how would you know if I told my mom anyways?" I looked at him confused and raised an eyebrow.

"I sometimes like to have a nice cup of coffee and talk to your mom in the mornings." My eyes widened a little.

"You what?"

"She's good company. I don't know what you want from me man." I ran a hand down my face and dropped the subject.

"But seriously, what is it about this girl that has you daydreaming during work and class?" I never thought about it. I mean, I have definitely thought about her but never about the idea as to why.

"I don't know." It was the truth. I didn't know.

"Why are you so hooked on her if you have no idea why?" I just stayed quiet at his question. I didn't really know much about her. Just that she's the most gorgeous girl I had ever met.

Amaryllis

    I sat in my lecture as the professor talked about the word "love".

"Love. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear this word?" People started spewing out words.

"Relationship." Said one girl that sat behind me.

"Family." Said a guy that sat on the other side of the room.

"Earth." Said a girl that sat in the front of the class.

"Children." Said the pregnant girl that sat two seats to the left of me.

People kept going and some words were repeated. But for me, I had no idea.

I couldn't think of anything.

Well, maybe Alexander but I don't love him. I barely met him last week.

To me, love just isn't real. I've never seen it nor experienced it. But, I most definitely don't love Alexander. There's no possible way that I am in love with him.

"Love has multiple different definitions to different people. Love does not have a definite definition. Love will mean what it wants to different people." He dismissed us from the two-hour lecture after assigning us an essay on our definition of love.

I walked home seeing as the college campus wasn't very far from home. I was relieved to find my father's car, not in the driveway. But, that relief soon left once I entered and the smell of alcohol hit my nose.

My mom walked into view with a bottle of vodka in her hand.

"Hey, you're finally home." She slurred as she walked closer to hug me. She hugged me briefly and the smell of alcohol got stronger making me gag.

"We've talked about this mom," I spoke quietly as I let out a sigh.

"No day drink, actually, no drinking at all. For god's sake, you almost got alcohol poisoning the last time you over drank! Have you learned nothing!" She just stared at me and walked to the couch. I couldn't see her face but I could hear her sniffle as she cried.

I walked towards the couch and took a seat next to her. I wrapped my arms around her and brought her into a hug, dealing with the strong smell.

"I can't help it. With your father plus your weak heart. I-I just needed to relax." I rubbed her back soothingly.

"Do yoga or cook but please just stop drinking. I don't like seeing you like this. I know that dad might not care but I do." My voice got quieter as the words left my mouth. Tears slowly started flowing down my cheeks as I heard my mother cry. We stayed like that for a while until she fell asleep.

I slowly laid her down on the couch and propped her legs up too. I went upstairs and opened the closets that were in the hallway and took out the fluffiest blanket and went back downstairs to put it over her.

I took the bottle of vodka out of her hand and put the blanket over her. I walked to the kitchen and placed it deep in the cupboard. I walked upstairs to my room and got on the computer to start writing my essay.

I sat in front of a blank screen with the word "love" written at the top. I couldn't think of what else to write.

Maybe I could write about Marcy or my mother. Heck, I could probably write about dirt if I really wanted to.

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and just laid my head on the desk.

"Why is this so hard?" I moaned out in dismay. I've never struggled like this before. I lifted my head quickly and stared at the screen.

"What is love?" I asked myself quietly. I thought about it hard but all I could think about was family. But what family did I have?

I definitely didn't have a loving father to write about, I wouldn't dare write about my mother and her alcohol addiction, and Marcy? Marcy is probably the closest thing to family I have.