She Has Fire

Chapter 3

Mary's POV

I kept to myself now. I went on runs. Sometimes I would be gone for days. I just couldn't stand being there anymore. It felt too fake. It all felt like a movie set, everyone was playing a part. Nothing felt real. If I was on a run, it felt real. I wasn't sitting waiting to die. I was doing something.
Rick would pass me and for a couple of days would try and talk to me. I would just keep my eyes forward and my mouth shut. He got the lesson. He now just watched me when I walked by. Michonne would come by, make sure I was okay and eating. Every time she would try to convince me to talk to Rick. I just couldn't. I was too tired.
I would lay in my bed at night, trying to just sleep. It didn't come easy, living in a house by myself. My thoughts would always eventually drift to that moment in the kitchen. The feeling of his hand on my neck, his lips against mine. I couldn't shake it. I thought I was just in shock, but I was wrong. I wondered if he'd be back on the next run or if he'd just send his people without him. I wondered when the next time I would see him would be. I found, I wanted him to come back.

Negan's POV

I sat on the edge of my bed, Lacey sitting on my lap kissing my neck. Any other time, I would be happy, excited, thrilled. A gorgeous woman ready to fuck, my dream. But my mind wouldn't stop wandering. I sighed as I lifted her off me and put her on the bed.
"Look babe. You're great. I just am not feeling it tonight. Thought I was, but I was wrong." I told her.
"Did...did I do something wrong?" She asked confused.
"What? No! No. You're fucking great. I'm just...not in the mood." I shook my head. She crossed her arms and huffed.
"Are you sick or something? You never turn down sex." She said getting up and grabbing her clothes.
"Fuck, I might be. Sick in the head I think." I sighed. She got dressed and stormed out. Ever since I saw Rick smack Mary, I hadn't been able to think about anything else. Every atom of my being didn't want her there. Not with that prick around. I knew she wouldn't leave so easy. But damn it I just wanted to know she was safe! She didn't have to be with me, but if she were at the Sanctuary, at least I knew she was okay.
I threw on my clothes and grabbed Lucille. I wandered the halls, people kneeling as they passed. I walked into Simon's office and sat down. He glanced up, but continued his work.
"Something on your mind?" He asked. I grumbled and pulled at my leather jacket.
"Mary. I can't stop worrying. I fucking hate it. I don't fucking worry and now this woman has me in knots!" I yelled throwing my hands in the air.
"She's a strong lady from what I can tell. She can take care of herself. I don't think you need to worry." Simon said.
"I know that! I know I don't need to worry. She's a grown woman, she's capable. I can't stop. I couldn't even fuck Lacey." I said pinching the bridge my nose. Simon looked up confused for a second.
"Wow. You never turn her down." He chuckled.
"I fucking know!" I yelled.
"It makes some sense. You did see what Rick did to her. Even though it probably was a one time thing, and no excuses here, but you can't know that. So your brain goes into worry mode because you like her." Simon said leaning back into his chair.
"Well shit. Thanks Doctor Simon." I chuckled.
"I took a few classes in my day." He smiled.
"Anyway, I know I wasn't supposed to go on the next run to Alexandria, but I am."I said standing.
"I know. It's been arranged for days that you'd be coming with us." Simon smirked. I rolled my eyes and left.

Mary's POV

Everyone looked at me differently. I had a stigma on my back. They all saw what went down. They all saw what Rick did. More importantly, they saw how Negan and I interacted. They saw, that I might have a softness for him and he for me. I tried to tell people that it was just because of the slap. That Negan just wanted to make sure I wasn't hurt, he'd do the same for any woman. No one listened.
I could feel the eyes on me as I made my way towards the gate. Aaron was on guard duty. He only looked at me with pity in his eyes now. I hated it. I wasn't something to be pitied.
"Going out again? Didn't you just come back? You should rest. You'll overwork yourself." He said.
"I'm not tired. I'm fine. Just open the gate please." I said looking at the ground and adjusting my belt.
"I just...let someone else go. Rick and Michonne are going a run tomorrow. You can have the day off." He said trying to get me to stay.
"Why are you so concerned? I want to go, I'm going." I said looking at him confused. Then it hit me.
"Shit. You have to be kidding me!" I yelled throwing my hands in the air.
"What?" Aaron asked.
"What!? You know damn well what! He told you not to let me out right!? Right!?" I barked.
"Well...he did. He's just looking out for you." Aaron said looking guilty. I didn't blame him, but I wasn't pleased.
"This is bullshit!" I yelled and stomped away. He was going to keep locked away. Keep me where he could see me. A golden prison. I marched towards his house. Barging into his house and finding him and Michonne in the kitchen.
"What the hell do you think you're doing huh!?" I yelled. He looked taken back, Michonne was confused.
"What are you talking about?" He asked.
"You told them not to let me out. You told them not to let me go on runs!" I yelled standing in front of him.
"I just think you've been doing too much. You need to take it easy. We need people here just as much as out there." He tried to reason.
"Bullshit. You don't like me leaving, you can't keep an eye on me if I leave." I crossed my arms.
"Rick, did you really give that order?" Michonne looked surprised.
"Yes! She's my daughter and I'm keeping her safe!" He said.
"You want me locked up! I am the best on runs, the best since Daryl and you know it. This is your ego again." I barked.
"Rick, you can't do this to her! Keeping her locked in here won't solve anything." Michonne told him.
"I need people here! I need to know where everyone is now!" He yelled.
"You know I never leave without telling someone. I always give them a time limit. I tell them where I'm headed. You have no excuses here! If you keep me locked in here I'll lose my fucking mind!"
"Just stop it! You're being unreasonable!" Rick yelled.
"I am? Look in a fucking mirror." I said and stomped away. I was stuck. I never liked being stuck. I walked into my house and went to the kitchen. I paced around, full of anger and nothing to do with it. I grabbed a glass and smashed into the sink. It was stupid and wasteful. But I felt a little better. I looked up through the kitchen window and saw Negan's trucks rolling through the gate. I felt my mouth pull into a small smile against my will. I shook my head and looked down to see blood dripping to the sink and a slice in my hand.
"Shit." I sighed.