She Has Fire

Chapter 15

Mary's POV

The men formed a line a few feet in front of us. Negan had his arm wrapped around my chest, I clung onto it instinctively. The man in the middle, the leader, took a step forward, he had a wicked smile as his dirty hair fell in his face.
"Thought she was those two boy's girl. Didn't know she had anyone else. Have her back then. She's too much of a fighter anyway." The man hissed. I felt Negan's grip on me tighten. He was fuming, his body heating up with rage.
"Do not speak about her like she's a thing. You fucking hurt her. You fucking touched her! I'm going to bash in every fucking last one of you cunt's skulls!" He roared, making my ear ring.
"No need to fight over a piece of ass man! We just wanted a little fun!" The leader chuckled. I pried Negan's arm from me and scooted out of his way. Negan stood and ran over to the man bringing Lucille down onto his head. The man stumbled back before falling to his knees. Negan swung again and the man, clearly dead, fell flat on the ground. But Negan kept beating, blood splashed on the rest of the men, standing in shock. Negan growled as he beat the mess that was once my captor's head. He turned to look at me, blood dripping down his face.
"Now we match." He smiled, it sent chills down my spine. He turned back to the men and smiled.
"You fucks, you're going to pay. Simon! You ready?" Negan said.
"When you are Boss." Simon said as him and the rest of the people pointed their guns at the men.
"Just...just wait, we can wor-" Before the man could finish his sentence Negan smashed the bat into his head, Simon and everyone behind me started firing. I covered my ears, the gunfire screaming in them. A shot gun shell fell and sizzled on my bicep. There was blood everywhere. It stopped, the men in puddles before me. Negan was panting as he turned and walked back to me. He knelt in front of me, cupping my face with his free hand.
"Are you okay?" He asked. I shook my head, tears falling down my face. He dropped Lucille and wrapped me in his arms. It was the first time I'd seen him let her hit the floor. I clung onto him and sobbed, my body shaking, my throat was sore. He grabbed onto me tighter. He didn't say anything, just held me.
"I need....I need to go home." I said.
"Okay, let's get you home." He said helping me stand.
"No...not...I mean...Alexandria." I said, barely above a whisper. I saw the hurt in his eyes. It tore a hole in me.
"Not forever. Just for a little bit." I said wrapping my hands behind his neck.
"I'll come back. I'll always come back for you." I told him, pulling him into a kiss. His lips tasted of copper.
"Okay." He sighed. He helped me into the truck and held me close. We didn't speak the whole ride. We were halfway there when Negan picked up the radio.
"Dwight, get Carson ready. He's moving to Alexandria." Negan said.
"No. Negan, you can't do that. You need him." I said.
"I won't sleep at night, if you don't have him there. It's not forever, right? He'll come back when you do." He said. I knew arguing was useless. Negan picked up my arm, seeing the bleeding burn.
"It's fine. It's not bad." I told him. He took his scarf off and wrapped it around my arm. The red blending in with the rest of the blood on my arm. Our truck and Dwight's pulled up at the same time.
"Not forever right?" Negan sighed.
"Right. Just a little bit. You can visit me." I smiled. He gave a half-hearted smile back as he brushed blood-caked hair from my face.
"Just call, when you want to come back to me. Aaron still has the radio. If you need anything, I'll be here in a second." He told me. The gates opened and my heart felt like it was being torn.
"I do love you. I'll wait for you, just tell me when you're ready." He said kissing me slowly. I held onto him a moment longer. I went to unwrap his scarf, but he stopped me.
"Keep it. It's your's." He said. I jumped out of the car and walked into Alexandria. Carson followed me. The guard looked at me, confused. I didn't look back until the gate was closed. I saw Michonne come walking up to me.
"Are you okay? Wha-"
"I'm fine. I just need my feet tended to. This is Dr.Carson. He's staying here for a while." I said.
"Right. Let's get you two to the clinic then." Michonne brought us to the house that was used as a makeshift hospital. They helped me onto a bed and Carson cleaned off my feet.
"Is...is this all yours?" He asked.
"No. Just the feet." I said. He patched up my feet.
"You're good to go. Try and keep them clean and wrapped." He said handing me a roll of gauze. I nodded a thank you and got up.
"You can stay with us. You don't have to go back to your house. We can look after you until you're healed." Michonne offered.
"No. I just want to go back to my house." I said. She nodded, looking to the ground.
"Daryl moved back into his room. I just want you to know. We can move him." She said. It was then I realized, I hadn't seen anyone since the night Negan took his arm.
"No. It's fine. We have to face each other some day." I said. I walked into the house. It felt like a bizarre, alternate universe version of it. It was the same house, I wasn't the same person. Michonne handed me some clothes and I headed for the shower. I stood and let the water fall on me, staring at the drain. The water turning red as it swirled down.
Why the hell did I do this? Why the fuck would I come back here? Why did I say that? I am so stupid. Now here, alone, my soul cried out for Negan. I didn't cry often anymore. But I let myself have a moment. After everything, I wanted him to walk through the door, say some ridiculously crude comment and wrap me in his arms. But something was telling me I needed to be here again. I needed to face the demons I left behind. I climbed out and got dressed. I walked into my room. The bed was made, like they were waiting for me to come back. I sighed as I climbed in. It was cold. I drifted off quickly.
I felt myself wake up, but didn't open my eyes. I stretched and sighed, not wanting to face the day. I slowly opened my eyes, I was greeted by Daryl's form standing over my bed.
"Jesus! Fuck!" I screamed jumping up.
"You fucking scared the shit out of me! Why the hell are you just standing there staring at me!?" I yelled.
"You got the damn shower dirty. Go clean it." He growled and left. I sighed rubbing my eyes. Oh, this was going to be fun. I walked into the shower and scrubbed the red from the rim of the tub. When I finished I made my way downstairs, tentative, not sure what to expect from Daryl. He was eating at the kitchen counter, I walked over and got some water, standing across from him.
"You back?" He grunted, not making eye contact.
"For a little while. Yeah."
"You still going back to him?" He said finally looking at me.
"Yes. I will always go back to him." I told him. He sniffed and went back to his poptarts.
"Look....I didn't want...I never want to see you hurt. You know that." I told him.
" I know. You have damn weird way of showing that, but I know. I shot you. I ain't ever gonna forgive myself for that. I deserved it." He said.
"Daryl...stop." I sighed.
"Let's just...move on. I don't wanna think about this shit anymore. We have you back, I want to enjoy it." He said. I nodded and sipped my water. The front door burst open and Rick came walking in, Michonne followed. He came up to me, too close for comfort.
"You're back." He said, his voice cracking.
"For a little bit." I said. He nodded.
"You hurt? Michonne said you came in covered in blood." He questioned looking me over.
"Just my feet. I got chased. They're dead now." I said, my throat tight. He nodded. We stood in silence for a moment before he pulled me into his arms.
"I thought I'd lost you." He said. I held onto him.
"No. I'm never too far away." I sighed. He let go and held my face with his hands.
"I'm sorry." He said. I nodded. Maybe this was a start for everyone to work together. I wouldn't hold my breath, but I could still hope.
"He's...he's not coming to stay is he?" Rick asked. I shook my head.
"No. He's not stopping pick ups though." I informed him.
"Look, I know it's tough. But you'll find someone right for you, it's just harder now-"
"We are still together. That hasn't changed. It's not going to change. I just wanted to be home for a while." I interrupted Rick. Rick slowly pursed his lips.
"Fine." He sighed.
Everyone was touchy, they gave me side eye and glares. Even if Daryl was with me and we were joking around, I could always feel the eyes on me. I had fucked with their way of life, or that's at least what they thought. I did extra work, trying to look good. I did the jobs no one wanted. I weeded the garden, tended the graves, did extra shifts on the wall. It didn't change anything. I was a woman without an island. I had no home anymore. I'd lay in bed at night and stare at the ceiling, hoping for something to change. Hoping for Negan to show up. But I didn't expect him to come for the pickups. Two pick ups and he was a no show. Every time it broke my heart a little.
I heard the rumble of the trucks and the clang of the gate opening. I stared wistfully out the window, knowing he wasn't there. Simon jump from his truck, then I heard that booming voice.
"Alright you pricks! Get to work!" Negan yelled as he jumped from the truck. My heart began to pound in my chest. He set his eyes on my house and started towards me. I felt flustered all of a sudden. I smoothed my hair, it felt stupid. Who has good hair in the apocalypse besides Michonne? I jumped when there came a knocked on the door. I did my best to calmly walk to the door. I opened it and he stood there, in all his glory, that killer smile plastered across his face.
"I missed ya Sugar." He purred. I opened the door wider to let him in.
"I missed you too. I can't stop thinking about you, as dumb as that sounds." I gave a nervous laugh. He set Lucille down on one of the kitchen chairs. He walked over to me, towering over me.
"You don't understand, I missed you. I don't miss people. I haven't...felt truly for anyone since..." He trailed off.
"Since Lucille." I finished. He looked me in the eye and nodded.
"You...you're special to me. I hate not being here to protect you. It gives me fucking chest pains. You've been giving me chest pains from the start." He laughed. I smiled and wrapped my hands around his neck.
"I know this is hard. I just...want to mend my bridges. Make sense?"
"I fucking guess." He sighed. I pulled him down to my lips. I meant only for a small kiss, but it quickly turned into more. I pulled away breathless.
"I fucking missed you." I said. He chuckled.
"Dido, Sugar. When do I get to bring you home?" He asked.
"I don't know. Soon. Daryl forgave me. I don't know if Rick will. But I have to try. Carl won't...he won't even look at me..." I sighed.
"Fuck him. These people don't deserve you. They can all go fucking jump in a goddamn hole and die. You're all that fucking matters. If...if they can't see that....fuck..them...." Negan said, his face red. He was panting and sweating.
"Negan? Calm down...are you alright?" I asked walking over and holding his face in my hands.
"I'm...I'm...I think I'm having a fucking heart attack!" He said as if inconvenienced by the whole thing.
"Um...okay. Just...try and control your breathing...or something I don't know!" Panic was setting in. He was the only person that made me panic, it almost pissed me off.
"Ahhh!" He yelled as he fell to his knees, clutching his chest.
"Negan!" I ran to him, he looked so pale.
"I'll be right back, I'm getting help." I said getting up and running outside, catching myself on the porch railing.
"Help!!! Get the Doctor! Now!!!" I screamed. Simon made eye contact with me, seeing the panic in me he ran towards the clinic. I ran back in, Negan was laying on the floor, panting, rubbing his chest.I ran over to him, picking up his head and holding it in my lap.
"It's okay. You'll be okay." I kept saying it over and over like a mantra. He looked up at me and smiled.
"If this is how I fucking go, at least your face is the last thing I see." He said.
"Shut your stupid mouth, you aren't going anywhere." I said tears falling down my face. Simon came bursting into the house, Carson and Rick followed close behind. Carson came running over and started looking Negan over. I kept whispering that he'd be okay.
"We need to get him to the clinic." Simon nodded and waved some men into the house. They brought in a stretcher. They rolled Negan onto it. I could tell he hated it. Hated how it made him look. They lifted him and we all quickly made our way to the clinic. We got him inside and onto a bed. Carson started hooking him up to machines and shooting him up with medicine. I couldn't make heads or tails of what was happening. I kept a firm hold of his hand.
"Hey. Look at me." Negan squeezed my hand. I lifted my eyes to meet his.
"You'll be okay. It's okay. Right?" He whispered. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. I nodded.
"I want to hear you say it." He choked out.
"I'll be...okay...it's...it's..." I couldn't finish, sobs took over my voice.
"No. Don't. Finish." He said giving my arm a shake.
"It's okay....Please...don't leave me..." I said just above a whisper. He smiled, his eyes crinkled, causing a tear to fall across his cheek.
"I'll do my best. Just for you Sugar." He said pulling my hand to his lips.
"Come on, let's give the doc some room to work." Simon said putting his hands on my shoulder. I shook my head, I didn't want to leave him.
"Come on Mary. Sweetheart, we need to leave him right now." Simon said. I let go of Negan's hand and stood.
"I love you." I told him.
"Love you too Sugar." He said, his voice rough and gravely. Simon pulled me out of the house. Simon kept hold of my shoulder.
"You know he's strong. He's not going to let this bring him down." Simon said. I nodded.
"Come here." He pulled me into his arms and I started crying. I took a deep breath and pulled away.
"These...these people...they're your family?" Rick looked at me confused.
"They are my family too." I told him. He nodded and walked away. Maybe I shouldn't have come back.