She Has Fire

Chapter 17

Negan's POV

A whole god damn week I've been stuck in bed, stuck in this damn room. I hate it! Carson keeps saying I need rest. I need to relax. I want to strangle him every time he says it. He says I'm not supposed to leave bed. Fuck him. I'll get out of bed when I want. Mary keeps me from killing the bastard.
I rolled over groaning, there was a knock at the door. I felt the other side of the bed, surprised by the lack of Mary next to me. I grumbled as I got up and answered the door.
"The fuck you want?" I growled. Simon stood smirking.
"I just wanted to check and see how you were doing. Cranky as ever I see." He chuckled.
"Oh fuck off. You fucking woke me up." I grumbled.
"Uh huh. We're starting runs today. Anything I should put on the list for you?" He asked.
"Baby shit. Just anything for babies. Crib, clothes, all that shit." I told him.
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Don't think I said congrats. Congrats." Simon laughed.
"Thanks man." I smiled.
"You don't seem as thrilled as you were?" Simon questioned.
"I just worry about her. She's scared shitless. She tries to hide it, but I can tell. Her mom...died having her sister. I have a feeling that's all she can think about. She isn't enjoying it for damn sure." I sighed.
"We'll make sure that doesn't happen, Boss. She'll be alright." He patted my shoulder. I nodded. I heard a shuffling from the bathroom, some weird noises. I thought Mary had gone down to the market.
"I'll make sure baby stuff is on every list."
"Yeah...yeah thanks Simon. Keep an eye out for Aaron and Eric. Make sure they're doing alright. I gotta go." I said shutting the door. I walked over to the bathroom door. I stood listening for a minute. I heard the distinct sounds of gagging on the other side. I opened the door.
"Shit, Sugar...." I sweeped the hair from her face as she leaned over the toilet. She spit into the toilet and leaned back. Her face wash pale, her eyes red and puffy.
"You should have woken me up." I told her.
"You need the sleep. I can handle this." She sighed. I grabbed a washcloth and dampened it with cool water and put it on her neck. She let out a sigh of relief.
"Thanks." She smiled.
"I want to help you. Let me." I told her.
"I know. I know you do. I guess...I just don't like you seeing me like this..."
"Hey, stop that shit. We're engaged. I'm here for all of it. It's in the vows, for better or for worse, sickness...and health. I'm not leaving you. I'm going to take care of you." I said. She turned to face me, wrapping her hands behind my neck.
"I'm here for you too. It's okay. It's okay that you're thinking of her. I don't want you to be upset or ashamed or whatever because you're thinking about her right now." She said, tears in her eyes. I looked at her for moment, taken back.
"I don't want to. This is us now. Not her. I just want us." I said.
"It is us. Just us. But she was a big part of your life and she was sick for a part of that. I see the panic every time I'm sick. Honestly, that's why I don't wake you up. I hate that you panic." She said.
"I...I can't lose you too..." I said hanging my head.
"I'll do my best to stick around for you." She smiled.
"Okay..." I looked up at her and pulled her close to kiss her but she waved me off.
"I literally just vomited. No kissing until I brush my teeth." She giggled as she got up and started brushing. I stood behind her, my arms wrapped around her waist. My hands rested on her belly.
"I think I feel a bump." I chuckled as I nipped her neck.
"You do not. It is way too early for anything." She laughed.
"Maybe you should lay off the kettle chips then.." She smacked my arm, I pulled her into a kiss.
"It's your fault, got me all knocked up and eating constantly." She sauntered into the living room.
"Well, if you weren't so damn fucking hot, I wouldn't have knocked ya up." I laughed. She sat on the couch, I fell next to her.
"Did you and Lucille ever try to have kids?" She asked. I sighed and sat up.
"Yeah. We did. But it never happened. Thought it was me for a while...then the cancer happened. Figured that was what stopped it." I said.
"Do you wish you had?" She asked.
"I don't know." I said. She wrapped her arms around me and rested her chin on my shoulder.
"I'm happy this happened. I'm glad it was with you." She said.
"I'm glad it's with you too." I smiled.
"I think we should go for a walk outside today!" She said jumping up.
"Aren't I on house arrest?"
"I talked Carson into letting you go outside today. Come on, I have been cooped up in here too. It's so nice out today!" She said.
"Sugar, I have been waiting to get out of this fucking room, plus who hell could say no to you?" I smiled as I got up. We got down to the bottom level and outside. The sun was shining, it was warm. It was as fucking perfect a day as ever. She grabbed my hand and we walked around to the gardens.
"We should expand. Make a nice place to be outside, instead of just rocks and grey walls." She said as we walked through the greenery.
"You're right. The little guy is going to need some place to run around. I'll talk to Simon when he gets back. We'll work on it." I told her.
"Eric can help. He helped in the garden back in Alexandria." I could see her eyes change.
"Sugar, I'm starved. I'm betting you are right about now too. Let's get some grub." I changed the subject.
"That was not subtle, but you're right. I am beyond hungry." She smiled. I wrapped my arm around her waist as we walked in. This would be the first time I'd been in the cantina for over a week. We walked in and sat down. A shaking kid came up to the table with two trays and ran off.
"Good to see I still strike fear." I chuckled.
"Oh yeah. Real scary." Mary rolled her eyes as she started eating. Halfway through the meal Arat came over and sat down.
"You look...alive." She stated.
"Wow. Thanks." I scoffed. She shrugged.
"There's a rumor going around the you got Mary preggers." She sipped the coffee in her hand.
"Yep. It's true. Knocked her up!" I smiled.
"Stop saying it like that." Mary jabbed me in the ribs.
"You said it this morning!"
"Yeah, well, I'm allowed to." She smirked.
"I guess, congratulations. Lord help us all." Arat said.
"Yeah, that's my spawn in there. It's going to rule the whole fucking world." I smiled. Arat shook her head, a smile on her face, as she got up and left.
"Spawn? It's a spawn now?" Mary looked at me.
"It's a joke. You know they're all thinking it." I said. She hummed as she got up and left.
"I think you deserve a back rub when we get back upstairs." I said.
"I think I do too." She said waltzing in front of me. I ran up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, nipping her neck. We got back to the room and Mary collapsed on the couch. I sat next to her.
"I fucking needed that." I smiled.
"Me too." Mary sighed. I sat up and grabbed her shoulders and moved her so her back was to me.
"Are you actually going to rub my back?" She asked, surprised.
"Yeah. Don't sound so surprised. It's not like I don't take care of you." I told her as I kneaded the muscles in her back. I hit a particularly tight knot and she let out a soft moan.
"Wow, I am way better than I thought." I laughed.
"Shhhh...don't ruin it..." Mary said. I kept on kneading her back until she was completely relaxed.
"Thank you." She sighed falling back onto the couch.
"Anytime Sugar." I smiled. She smoothed down her shirt, her hands resting below her belly.
"Do I really have a bump?" She questioned. I put my hand over her belly.
"Well, I think that's mostly a food baby not our baby." I smiled. She smacked my arm.
"I don't know, it just feels like it will feel more real when there is a bump." She sighed.
"It doesn't feel real?" I asked.
"No. It doesn't feel different. I still feel...the same. I guess, I always thought you felt like different immediately. Like you started glowing right away and felt...I don't know." She said.
"Soon. It'll happen soon. You were always glowing anyway." I said. She put her hand on my cheek and smiled.
"I love you, you sweet bastard." She smiled.
"Love you too. I think it's nap time." I said as I got up and took my pants off and my shirt, crawling into bed in my boxers.
"Old man, knocked out by a walk around the garden." Mary teased.
"Still young enough to show you a good time. Get in here." I said.
"Oh no. That is still off limits." She giggled getting into bed. She cuddled up next to me laying her head on my chest. We drifted off to sleep.
I felt the weight lift from my chest. I rolled over still half asleep. The bed dipped. I vaguely heard feet padding on the floor. I ignored it. Mary must have gotten restless. I fell back asleep.
I woke up to the sound of coughing. I sat up and saw the light pouring out from the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes as I stood up. I heard the sound of retching and realized what was happening. I ran into the bathroom. Mary was hunched over the toilet again. Another sound accompanied the retching, crying. I rubbed her back, I hated there wasn't much more I could do. She lifted her head, I handed her a towel to wipe her mouth with. Tears streaked down her face.
"I..just..want it..to..stop.." She sobbed. I wrapped her up in my arms.
"I know Sugar. I know. It will soon. I'm sorry." I told her. She cried against my chest.
"It'll get better, I promise." I whispered.
"I hate this!" She cried.
"I know. You're so damn tough though. You're going to be fine. You'll get through this." I told her.
"This is all your fault!" She sobbed.
"It is, you're right. But it'll be worth it."
"It fucking better!" She cried. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Let's get you to bed." I said. I gathered her up in my arms and brought her back to bed. I laid down next to her. She crawled up close to me.
"Fuck you." She whispered.
"Love you too." I smiled.