No title, just words

But Was I Really Clueless?

It's sad that my heart still tightens at the thought of you.

The thought of your bewitching lies slowly enrapturing me in your arms, 

The thought of your alluring whispers fibbing millions of promises..

It's sad that you had to use the most sincere truth to deceive me, 

That you had to break our mirage of illusions into unrepairable pieces. 

It's sad how much my soul ached behind this emotionless wall I had to build, 

So I don't see myself getting weaker, 

As I'm watching you fade away.

It's sad that I can still remember the way we used to pretend,

While I was absorbed in the false truth you made me believe in. 

You made me feel like I was living for the second time..

Like a child,

You made me overflow with the desire to rediscover this world 

That seemed so perpetual

I sometimes wonder,

Why was I always so fearful? 

Always trapped in anxiety for fear that one day I will no longer have you, 

as if I already knew... 

But was I really clueless?

I sometimes wonder if all these memories are nothing but past wounds that I thought you healed.

I sometimes still imagine holding your hand tightly, 

Holding you in my arms like it's our last embrace. 

I just wish it didn't end there... 

And what if it wasn't over yet? 

What if I was still living within these warm delusions you created for me? 

I wish that road had no destination so that I wouldn't have lost you. 

I wish I could cross your path once again, 

Start our story over as if we had never met before, 

Rewrite it again, 

and give it a better ending, 

if any.