Dear Iris [h.s]

chapter eleven.

Iris Grace

"God Iris, this man was beautiful..." Christina explains as we're walking up the hill. I'm heading home for dinner with the Styles, she's going home for a real family dinner. "You know those marble statues in art galleries and stuff? He looked like one of them."

"What was his name?" I asked her, smiling away to myself at her expense.

"Hunter...Hunter something, I don't know his last name, I forgot it." She shrugged. "He was great, I might give him a second date you know."

"What?!" I exclaimed, Christina doesn't do second dates.

"I know!" She smiled to herself, letting out a sigh then looking back at me as we continue on our stroll. "What about you? C'mon there has to have been something exciting that's happened since we last spoke."

"Harry Styles wasn't a total ass to me the other day." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Yup. That's all."

She looked at me all suggestively, one brow raised and a smirk on her face, but I shook my head and just sighed. Things aren't like that between Harry and I, we aren't even friends to be totally honest. Even if we were friends, that friendship is still something my brother sees as something I'm not allowed to have. He's only two years older than me, yet he controls so many aspects of my life and it's miserable. It's so goddamn draining.

"What do you think about Harry then? Honestly." Christina asked me. "Disregard your family for a second."

"I don't know...I don't think anything about him. It's cute seeing him with Harper, his sister, but I don't know, I don't think about him..." I explained. "Christina, it's not going to happen."

"Suit yourself..." She smirked, stepping to the side so she can tur dow her road, then pausing to look at me with one of those looks on her face."You deserve happiness Iris, stop hiding from it you fucking idiot."

"I am happy...Go see Hunter and leave me alone!" I chuckled back at her.

Turning around Christina stuck her middle fingers up at me and walked down her street to her family home, which consists of an actual family and not oie like mines. She's my best friend, my only friend and it's a strange relationship we have. We can go days without seeing each other but because we grew up together, it's like no time has passed at all. She's seen me go through every little stage of my life and she's the only person to to leave or turn against me. I appreciate that a lot.

My house is another two minutes down the road,but I really was taking advantage of my time alone before the madness began. The evening ahead of me won't be very exciting, it'll be far from it. I'll sit there with people telling me I'm a failure, without using those words and instead using passive aggressive indirect snarky comments. The worst part of it all is that it comes from people who are supposed to be my family, or people who think it's okay for them to make fun of me because they're friends with my dad.

You'd think after all this time, I'd get used to it all, but you don't. Words still just just as much when they're still coated in salt firing at open wounds. You never do get used to hurtful comments, you just get used to the fact there's nothing you can do to put an end to it.

One day when I leave here, and move to Milan, everything will be so much better. Maybe I'll move to Marseille, I can speak French and it's not Paris. I'd love to live in Paris, but I don't know if I'd go there alone. I feel like Paris is a goal, something I could work towards. Milan however, has been a dream since as long as I can remember.

Anywhere but here would be a dream.

I got inside and I could smell dinner being cooked. My mum smiled as I stepped inside and my dad looked at me as if I was an intruder. With no conversation, I quickly went upstairs to change into something other than paint covered clothes and make myself a little less horrific looking. I knew the Styles family would be here soon, so I stretched out my getting ready as long as I possibly could, and it wasn't until I heard the doorbell, did i decide to head downstairs again.