Dear Iris [h.s]

chapter fifty eight.

Iris Grace

I stumbled home myself, to my studio just after midnight because everyone got drunk and mean, I couldn't tolerate the nastiness anymore. All the snide comments directed at me kind of hurt, the ones like 'you're lucky you've got a half decent face' or when they'd stare at my chest and say it's a good thing I'm a girl , whatever that's supposed to mean.

Harry was nowhere to be seen, I'd have grabbed him and slyly nailed him back here but I couldn't find him. I stopped by his place but there were no lights on so I carried on home instead. I'll drop by tomorrow, maybe, I don't know. We need to talk either way and I miss him.

I had a cup of tea once I got in, sat on my couch and picked up my old, battered copy of Romeo and Juliet.I didn't even change out of my dress, I sat there flicking through the pages, smiling at things Harry has said to me before. Next thing I know is it's two in the morning, and I'm still sitting on my couch in my dress.

Maybe another cup of tea, a change of clothes and a makeup wipe will do. I'm barely even tired, nonetheless I stood up, unzipped the side of my dress and boiled the kettle again.

Then there was a knock at my door, at two in the morning.

Quickly I zipped my dress back open and hurried to the door. I had an idea who'd be at the other side, because nobody ever comes here to see me, however if I started to worry I was praying the person standing at the other side of the door would be standing there with a smile on their face, not for any other reason.

Harry stood there, blood dried around his nose and staining his shirt. His cheek is cut, his lip burst and his eyes were filled with tears, so many tears that it shattered my heart just looking at him.

"Harry..." I choked out, completely at a loss for words.

I stepped aside to let him in, and the second the door shut behind me, Harry practically threw himself at me. His arms wrapped around my waist and clung onto me for dear life as all hell seemed to break loose and Harry began to sob hysterically into my shoulder.

I was quick to console him, thread my fingers into his hair to provide him with comfort as my other hand sorted circles onto his back. He looks so hurt, sounds it too and not just physically. I've never seen him this distraught, ever.

"You're okay." I whispered, kissing his cheek delicately as he gripped my waist tighter than ever. "Hey, you're okay."

"I'm not." Harry cried through a voice break.

That hurt. A lot. The sadness in his voice, the way he's gripping onto my like I'll run away, the way he can hardly breathe properly due to how he's dying. I don't know what happened before he came here, but whatever it was, has absolutely broken him. I've never seen him like this.

"Harry, c'mon we need to-"

"No," He whispered, shaking his head. "Just...I need...fuck sakes."

"You need a second?" I asked, holding the back of his head as he nodded. "Okay, that's fine. We've got all the time in the world."

Harry nodded his head and I just kissed him on the cheek, wrapping my arms around him to hug him back, to give him as much comfort as I could. I hate seeing him like this, it's awful because not only do I know he's hurting, I know he's cursing himself for crying on my shoulder.

The last time he was like this, he went on, and on about how he hated himself for making me feel sorry for him, and no matter how many times I reassured him, he still apologised for it. That evening i sat at the side of the bath and held his hand, he apologised for that too. I don't like that he feels like he has to apologise for it, he shouldn't feel like that.