Things aren't going the way that I hoped it would. Well I thought it would.
There's just a million things that's going on around me. I feel like a walking disaster of emotional mess. I just don't know how to feel most of the times anymore. How is it possible that I feel like I'm, dare I say useless.
I don't know. Sometimes I just imagine myself in the future as some post graduate student desperately trying to make ends meet. Living miserably in an overdue apartment and eating almost nothing a day. Taking on countless part time jobs and taking as much shifts as I could just so I could survive.
Reality is such a cruel place. Doesn't give you a breather when you need one. And when you feel like sunshine and rainbows new shit starts to happen. Not really an experience you would want.
Then I ask myself, am I still fine? I don't know. I just don't know. I feel so messed up. How is this even possible. Sunshine and rainbows where are you? Why aren't you here when I need you. Why are slowly drifting away the moment I know I need you the most?
I just feel so sorry at this point and I don't even know why. I'm sorry that I'm like this. Nothing even worth mentioning. Can I just be somewhere really quiet. Where I'm alone and nobody knows who I am. I just want to go to somewhere peaceful.
