F*ck It

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I honestly don't know where to start.

Let me begin by saying that I admit that I am dissapointed in myself.

Wow...

It's been a few days ever since our graduation and I'll only say it here but I genuinely wasn't happy. I graduated with Honors.

I failed. In all shapes and forms I knew a failed. My parents, my teachers, my classmates, my friends they all see me as a failure.

They don't say it but I feel it. Because everytime, for the past few weeks leading up to graduation, they kept asking if I was the batch valedictorian and every single time I replied "No" all they had to say that it was a waste of my knowledge and intelligence. " Ikaw sayang ka"

I know, I know all too well. I fucking know and I don't need every single person in this world to remind me of how much of a failure i became.

I smiled throught it all. But the pang in my chest never left. Until now it's still here and I will forever carry this dissapointment with me.

A lot of alumni contacted me and asked if I didn't graduate because I didn't post pictures but honestly I didn't post anything because I wasn't proud of what I had achieved. It will forever remain as a haunt and a stain in my life.

People really don't care to ask you why and how things ended up this way. I fucking feel horrible.

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