Dor Jo Na Toote (Sloth Updates)

19

For a while she attempted to speak but only more sobs escaped Sirat, Kartik patiently remained seated by her side while she found her composure and words to explain the storm raving within her. Accepting the offered handkerchief to wipe her face, at last, Sirat finally turned to face him.

Sirat (takes a deep breath)- Manne sirf dukh dena aata hai, sab logon ne sirf taqleef di hai manne. (eyes turn distant) Ranveer ne, mauri ne... (makes eye contact) aapne? (clears her throat and looks away) Main koshish karti hoon Kartik, poori koshish karti hoon apni saari zimmedariyan dhang se nibhane ki taaki kisi ne shikayat ka koi mauka na mil jaaye... Fir shikayat-taane inki to mujhe fir bhi aadat hai, aapko maloom hai zamane ne thokren de dekar manne inki aadat dal di hai. Saath ki aadat na hai manne. (her lips wobble) Aapne-aapne mhare liye jitna kiya hai, uske baad meri zaahir... Zimmewari hai, aapki taraf aapke pariwar ki taraf.

Kartik stared incredulously, his worst fears coming to life regarding Sirat as she went on.

Sirat (smiles)- Agar main Akshu ke liye wapas na aati to fir gharwalone ko yahi lagta ki mujhe uski chinta hi na hai, agar main ghar ke liye ho rahi pooja par na jati to Dadi ko bura lagta, mandir mein hue haadse ke baare mein manne kuchh na kaha kyonki aap pehle hi mhare liye itne pareshan the itna kharacha kar chuke the... Main zidangi bhar bhi vo rakam na chuka sakoongi, haan par aapko aur pareshan to na karna chahti thi, mhara sach mein aapke gharwalon ki jaan khatre mein daalne ka koi irada na tha. 

Sirat (takes a deep breath)- Rahi baat aaj ke vrat ki to hamari shaadi ke baad gharwalon ki mhare se apekhsaein badal gayi hai, bhale aapko aisa na lage par mehsoos ho jata hai Kartik. Agar main vrat chhod deti to Dadi ko kitna bura lagta? Aur practice karne na jaati to aapko mhari chinta hone lagti, fir mujhe aisa lagta mano aapne bekar mhare liye itna kuchh kiya jab main nationals ke liye practice hi na kar pa rahi. 

Kartik (hums)- To basically tumhein meri chinta, ya fir tumhein jo lagta hain maine tumhare upar jo ahsaan kiye hain, unse tumhein itni ghutan hone lagi ki tumne sab khud hi karne ka man bana liya? Apne dost ko bhool gayi? Uski baat ko bhool gayi (looks up to make eye contact), agar tum ek baar keh deti to main sab manage kar leta. Dadi se. Gharwalon se. Kairav se. Sab- Par nahi, of course, agar main aisa kar raha hota to bhi main tumhare upar ahsaan kar raha hota. Mujhe nahi pata tum kisi duniya mein ho Sirat, par main jis duniya mein hoon vahan main koi ahsaan nahi kar raha. 

Kartik (nods to himself)- Haan, main tumhara dhyan rakhna chahta hoon aur uske liye haan jo security ki hai par aisa isliye kyonki tum Sirat ho, meri sabse achchhi dost, jisko main apne pariwar ka hissa samajhta hoon. Par shayad tum ne kabhi aisa nahi samjha, aur aise mein zabardasti itne ahsanon ke liye aur tumhari firka karne ke liye, tumhein aisa mehsoos karwane ke liye, I am sorry. 

Sirat (shakes her head)- Kartik aap galat samajh rahe hain... Aisa nahi hai-

Kartik (taking his hands away)- Par tumhein sunkar, usse zyada tumne khud ko jitna torture kiya hai vo dekhkar to mujhe yahi lag raha hai. (sighs) Tumhein pata is ahsan, fikra, rishte, ke badle log tumse kya chahte hain mujhe usse koi fark nahi padta agar tum mere liye kuchh bhi kar sakti ho to apne liye karo. Apne liye jiyo. Mere ya mere pariwar ke liye nahi, aur isliye to bilkul bhi nahi ki maine tumhare liya kitna kuchh kiya hai. Sirf apna dhyan rakho, itna kar sakti ho? Agar tum ye kar sakti ho to mujhe aur kuchh nahi chahiye, tum sirf jeeti aise ho jismein baaki sab apne aap shamil ho jaate hain tumehin pareshan hone ki zaroorat nahi.

Kartik (offers his pinky)- Ab good girl jaise mujhse promise karo ki tum aaage se aisa kuchh nahi sochogi, kuchh nahi karogi, fir se aisa koi bhi khayal aata hai to sabse pehle mujhse share karogi, aur sabse pehle apna dhyan rakhogi.

Sirat (nods and moves to meet his pinky but stops mid-way)- Pehle aap wada kariye ki aap aage se khana skip na karenge, aur aise der raat tak office mein na rahgene. Aapko maloom hai aapko kitna miss kiya manne, Kairav ne, aur Akshu ne bhi.