Mask

chapter 30 - such a bitch

jisoo stood by a wall thinking it would somehow make her invisible.

she stood by it watching her bestfriends that sat at the front of the foot of the staircase that was just before jisoo. they had their backs to her so they couldnt see her but she could see it all. jisoo couldnt believe the fact that the actual reality of it all was hitting her now. and by 'it all' she means the whole scenario from the start of her and her girlfriendship with her girlfriend.

how could the calm and composed jisoo just had dive into something face first without thinking about anything. and now, when its obviously not the time for eye opening epiphanies, its hitting her like a million ton brick.

jisoo felt the tiniest bit of a tear well up in her left eye and she tried to get rid of the guilt by wrapping her arms around herself when she saw chaeyoung wrapping her one hand around lisa who seemingly had her head down low. is jisoo even in the place to sympathise with them? they had no idea what was going on with jisoo and suddenly everything was falling apart. they wouldve felt so bad when jisoo didnt tell them about jennie and they had to find out from a different source. they wouldve been so mad when they got dragged into this middle school leveled immature mess. jisoo messed up big time by acting on her impulse.

why? why couldntve have she given time for her feelings for jennie to grow? why did she have to ask her out so early? especially when she knew nothing about her?

why did she have to be so.. so..

its not like she didnt have words for herself to say at this time. she just had too many.

jisoo could just hope they'd forgive her because she knew how goddamn regretful she is of her actions. you'd think that a person that seems like a villain would actually be the villain just for you to find out its been you all of this time. everyone she could think of right now would be better off without her, but she didnt want to think like that because it was true. would jennie, also, be... better off... without her?

her thoughts made her intake a deep shaky breathe. she puffed up her chest to let it go slowly as she made her way towards the elevator instead of the staircase. she made her eyes look away from chaeyoung and lisa and her heart knew she was just too guilty to face them right now. but jisoo will start making amends. start just right now from the person just in her mind who would make all of it just so worth with just one decision of theirs. to forgive jisoo.

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ruby was excited. very excited.

before her mind could argue she convinced herself adamantly that she wasnt excited to play hero or 'save the day' (which she admit she didnt get a chance to do very often) or some bullshit. it was because ruby jane, as of today, was finally getting the chance to make things right between her sister and that girlfriend of hers. if she was still that.

it was right that jennie didnt had much suitors in line for her which was excellent because both of them (jennie and ruby) had their terrible experience with one suitor who seemed decent and even perfect at first but showed his true colours at the first chance he got. its blissful how ruby doesnt remember that douche's name because if douches like him should be known for something it should just be for how big of a douche they are. but no! ruby would and could not absolutely be stupid enough to give that disgrace of a boy the power to sour her mood at such a nice time of her life.

instead ruby would think about jisoo.

fine. ruby admits that jisoo was nice. nice enough for jennie and nice enough to have her name remembered by ruby. in fact ruby has known this for a noticable amount of time now. enough time to make her regret everything she did (but not punching the living shite out of the girl in purposes to prove her point). since that hard slap from jisoo, ruby has had realised so many things and even decided to change her ways to show what she felt. and she should rightfully credit nice jisoo for that.