My life

Chapter 13

Chloe held back the tears as she applied antiseptic to her injuries. Her mother had flung herself at her and scratched anything her nails had come in contact with, which unfortunately included her face, so there was no hiding it tomorrow. 

She decided not to think about tomorrow, preferring instead to just be, to take her mind off what had happened, her brothers had pulled her mum off her but not before she'd left her mark. In that moment, chloe hated her mother, and sympathized with her father, she wondered briefly if it was all this craziness that pushed him to do what he did but even this couldn't justify his actions, afterall he had been the one to make her crazy. The constant abuse he put her through couldn't be justified.

In that moment she missed her brothers, they were close but far away, there had been a time when they'd all hide in a closet after a fight with their mother and just rant, now they were all in their own world, doing their own things.

Glancing down, she saw the sketchpad she had shoved away earlier and she picked it up to see what she had drawn and it made her vision blur.

On the sketchpad was a picture of her dad smiling, it was like the smile was directed at her, and she could see his brown eyes identical with hers smiling at her too. For a moment she could smell him, could feel his warmth that last time he hugged her and she held on, but all too soon it was gone, he was gone and she was alone in her room bleeding in and out.

She broke down, she let the tears she'd been holding in all afternoon flow out, she cried for her mum, cried for her dad, for Calvin, for Christian, for her half brothers she hadn't seen and years and cried for herself because she was tired of feeling this way. They said to keep holding on, they said the bad days would soon be over but it never happened, they bad days had dragged on for as long as she could remember.

°°°

Chloe didn't know what had woken her up, but she knew it was something. She had always been a light sleeper, waking up at even the tiniest of noise. She hated waking up in the night because it meant she wouldn't be able to sleep again.

Then she heard her phone ring, the default ringtone of her iPhone blasting into the silent night. She hastily picked it up, not even bothering to check the caller Id, she answered the phone, prepared to yell at the person on the other end but the person beat her to it.

"Come out your front door" her breath hitched, and she took the phone from her ear and glanced at the screen, not at all surprised to find Elliot's name.

"Elliot?"

"Chloe?" He asked back sarcastically

"Why are you calling by this time?"

"Come out your front door and I would tell you"

She glanced at her alarm clock and noted it was 11:23pm she hadn't slept for long.

"It's late Elliot"

"Please Chloe, I ne..." he cut himself off but she already knew what he was about to say. I need you. He needed her? The thought had her heart racing.

"Okay, give me a minute" she stalked to her closet and brought out a black hoodie since it was cold outside then snuck out. She wasn't one for going out at night, or even going out at all so she made care to not get caught because if she did, she wouldn't only get drilled by her mum, she'd get drilled by her brothers too because even tho things were different now, they were still overprotective of her.

When she got into Elliot's car, he stared at her with a mixture of confusion and worry. She wondered what she had done to stir such emotion from him until she remembered her fight with her mum earlier that night. She looked away and out the window, imagining what her face would look like, or what he'd think.

They drove silently for thirty minutes until Elliot finally pulled over, and he silently got down from the car and began to walk towards the woods. Confused, she went after him, struggling to keep up his pace.

She knew where

"It's called the black lake, only few people knows about it because it used to be a public place where teens come to swim during summer until the number of suicide recorded her become too much to count" her heart sped up, she gulped.

"I know that. Why'd you bring me here Elliot?"

"I was feeling gloomy" was he having troubles at home too? Thinking about it, she realized for the first time this night that his voice was different, he sounded down, not his usual monotonous.

"What's wrong?" She asked hesitantly, not sure if she was intruding. "You don't have to talk about it if-" she started to say but was interrupted by him. She watched him turn around to face her and was once again caught off guard by the intensity of his eyes.

"You know, it's funny how something so beautiful could be tainted by the actions of others" he mused. His words insinuated he was talking about the lake but his eyes said something different, he was talking about her. Her heart raced and she sat there frozen, only able to look into his eyes. She remembered the weird feeling she had gotten when she'd first looked into his eyes, how she had felt seen, noticed for the first time in a long time. He stretched his hand and placed it tenderly on her bruised cheek.

"Who did this to you Chloe?" He asked in a strained voice, like he was in pain. His eyes were so grey, so intense, they pulled her in, tempting her to let go and just say it, say the words she'd been bottling up for years now, say exactly how she was feeling but she looked away, she looked away because she'd done that once, been vulnerable with someone and had her heart trampled upon, she couldn't risk it, she knew she wouldn't survive it this time.

So she closed her eyes, shutting him out. She expected him to pull back, to take his hands off her but instead, he wrapped them delicately around her just holding her like she mattered and in that moment, she felt she did, and it felt good.