╭⌗♡𓂃maybe in our next life.・꒰꒱ | yanfei x hu tao angst

ch 4 | i'm sorry.

keqing woke up after sleeping in her soft bed. she brushed her extensive lilac hair. she prepared her clothes and gloves, fixing her bed. she was going to go with zhongli and yanfei to bubu pharmacy.

at her appearance at the wangsheng funeral parlor, seeing zhongli and yanfei holding a book.

" this seems to be hu tao's diary. it contains her poems for her love for you, yanfei. "

" she really loved me, didn't she? i feel so bad for her, i should've accepted, but i wasn't prepared, and it's hard to love someone you can't. " yanfei groaned, frustration filling her brain. if only she accepted, hu tao wouldn't have to be suffering like this. but she couldn't love, it was a struggle of hers, why couldn't she just love? was it that hard? she didn't hate hu tao or anyone, she just couldn't feel love. she felt like she was too much for everyone, she would be too annoying, too loud, she worried what others would think of her. she knew if she entered a relationship, she may fall too deep in love, causing her to fall back from them, and get heartbroken.

hu tao truly loved her, for who she was. whether she was too annoying, loud, she loved that about her. she didn't have to be perfect, it didn't matter. she was always there for yanfei, making her feel better. yanfei really regret not trusting hu tao, but still didn't want to enter a relationship.

" hello guys, what's up? " keqing waved, checking on the book they were reading.

" good morning, lady keqing. we were checking on hu tao's diary for information. " zhongli flipped another page, revealing more secrets to their bare eyes.

" her diary? you guys can't do that! that's a breach of her privacy, close that right now, and give it to me, we should be checking her, and how she is, not snoop in her diary, is that clear? " keqing yelled, snatching the diary from the table.

" let's go, waste no time. "

.

keqing, yanfei and zhongli waited outside at bubu pharmacy, waiting for dr. baizhu to update them.

" hello, unfortunately dr. baizhu is uh.. i forgot.. but he went out to do something for hu tao.. is there anything you need? " the small child looked up to you from the counter, holding the papers.

" how is hu tao? " yanfei questioned, nervous for an answer.

" the potion is currently taking effect and she is recovering a little, but it's a 50/50 chance... so be careful when visiting, don't wake her up. " qiqi signed more papers, folding and organizing them.

keqing, yanfei and zhongli visited the room, seeing hu tao asleep on the bed, with one of the workers patting her head.

" oh, hello. she'll be fine, as dr. baizhu is getting herbs, i'll be assisting her. " the doctor rubbed hu tao's head, remaining calm of the situation.

" as long as she's fine, we can go. " zhongli hummed, crossing his arms.

" no, we have to stay. i have some work to do, yanfei and zhongli, please watch over her. " keqing got up the chair, leaving.

" so do i. yanfei, i rely on you to watch over hu tao, as i have matters to do for the upcoming festival. " zhongli fixed his tie, reaching the exit.

" goodbye, zhongli. "

" i think you can watch over her, report to me if anything happens as i will do my work. " the doctor left aswell, leaving yanfei and hu tao alone.

yanfei placed her hand on hu tao's chest, tears roaming her cheeks.

" hu tao... i'm so sorry... i can't love you, nor save you... " yanfei sobbed, wiping her bright tears.

she reminisced the moments they had together, when they first met, their hangouts, when they prepared festivals together. she missed those times.

" please, let me go. i can't bare seeing you suffer over my love, i just can't, i'm sorry. " yanfei cried once again, leaving hu tao's shirt drenched in tears.

she never knew what love felt like, or how it felt to romantically love others, but she never liked that concept, or she wasn't comfortable with it. she didn't want hu tao getting hurt either. she was stressing out on what to do, she needed hu tao to be saved.

" i'll find a way for you, hu tao, for us. " yanfei smiled, tears still jerking down.

the door creaked open, yanfei turning around, to see dr. baizhu.

" hello, dr. baizhu, did you get the ingredients? what's in it? "

" hi yanfei, i've gathered the materials, which is 3 qingxin and silk flowers, whopperflower juice, pyro energy, and oceanid drops. i had to study and create a special medicine containing hu tao's ascension materials. " baizhu poured the juice in her mouth once again, after mixing it throughly.

" may i ask if you know anything about hu tao? who she confessed to? " baizhu asked, preparing some notes.

" me... she confessed to me, and i was at loss of words and rejected her, and i said no. but she ran away immediately. i just can't feel or express love, and i feel uncomfortable forcing myself in a relationship. " yanfei whined, feeling disappointed and regretful.

" yanfei, that wasn't your fault, you didn't feel comfortable with being in a relationship, especially if you didn't want it. it appears it's hard for you to love, is there anything that makes you overthink? "

" i keep thinking if anyone thinks i'm too much.. or too annoying, loud, or talkative. hu tao has been the person who liked that about me, and i was blind to see. i was scared she wouldn't like me, if i fell too deep in love and became clingy.. "

" yanfei, she has been there for you when needed it, but you were there for her aswell. she fell in love with you, thinking you did aswell. it really caught her off guard you didn't, but don't think that way, just because you were loud in everyone else's ears doesn't mean you are to hu tao. "

" thank you, dr. baizhu. i have to watch her if she'll get better. "

//an
sorry if baizhu is ooc (out of charac) here, i don't know how he acts like, this chapter is way longer than i expected. yanfei is the focus here! chapter questions!; who are you saving up for? i'm planning to get shenhe and yunjin! see you next chapter~ <3