Shaking || karlnap

26. doctors

Sitting at the desk in front of his therapist and doctor felt like some weird kind of intervention. He was glad when his therapist finally spoke to break the silence, "Have you been following all the set meal times?" She asked as she looked at Karl who simply nodded in return.

"And you've been keeping physical activity to a minimum?"

Another nod.

"Would you consider your meals appropriately sized for someone your age?"

Hesitation, followed by a nod.

"Karl?" she persisted.

"I would consider them appropriately sized."

"Would Nick consider them appropriately sized?" She asked and looked over to him instead of Karl.

"Um some of them...somedays they're really small," he said earning a disappointed glare from Karl. He ignored it though, if these people were going to properly help him then they shouldn't be lying to them.

"Alright," She nodded and scribbled down somethings in a notebook she had with her.

They spoke for a bit more before the doctor went with Karl to measure his height, that part was fine. He stood against the measurement indications on the wall and the doctor wrote down the results, no more questions asked. Not until Karl was nervously standing in front of the scale anyway.

"I'm going to ask you to avoid looking at the number once you step on it," The doctor said softly, he was trying to he considerate and not rush him but he also only had a certain about of time to spend with each patient.

"It's okay," Nick smiled at him and placed his hand on the small of Karl's back, "Just take a step forward and look at me, I'm not going anywhere."

"Actually, are you comfortable with taking off your sweater? It will help with finding a better recovery plan," The doctor asked.

"Sorry, no," Karl said softly.

"That's okay then, I want you to feel comfortable here," The doctor smiled softly at him, "Why don't you step on and keep looking at your friend?"

He nodded and took a small breath before stepping onto the cold scale, his eyes basically glued to Nick's yet it was taking all his will power to not look down at the number being shown.

The doctor frowned a bit as he looked at the number, he wasn't fully convinced but Karl had already stepped off of the scale again. "Do you think you could empty your pockets for me?" He asked causing Karl to tense up a bit, "I um I just have my wallet in them, it weighs like nothing."

"Empty them, please."

Karl sighed softly and reached into his pocket, taking his house keys out and placing them on the table.

"Can you reverse them so I can make sure they're completely empty?"

He swallowed nervously as he looked down, waiting for something to magically get him out of this situation but nothing did. He took the weights out of his pockets and placed them on the table next to where his house keys now rested. He stared at the ground, too ashamed to even look at anyone else in the room and too embarrassed to say anything.

"You know it's dangerous to lie to any sort of medical professional," The doctor sighed softly, "I know this is a hard process but you need to be honest with me."

Karl frowned, keeping his eyes locked on the ground as the tears of shame swelled in his eyes. "I...I'm not getting back on the scale," was all he managed to tell them in a whisper that threatened to release the waterfall of tears he was holding back.

"That's okay," The doctor said, "Why don't you let Nick take you outside for some fresh air while I talk to Hannah?"

Karl nodded and Nick gently guided him outside, allowing the doctor to go and talk his therapist again. Karl stayed quiet as he stood with Nick's arm firmly around him. To phrase it simply, he was still fucking embarrassed.

"I thought you wanted to get better," Nick whispered.

"I...I'm sorry," he whispered, bitting his bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

"We're all trying to help you."

"I'm sorry..."

"Why did you try lie to him?"

"Stop..." Karl whispered and took a step away from him, "I know I'm screwing myself over and I know I'm ungrateful for all of the help I'm getting and I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I can't function like a normal human!" he had never raised his voice at a friend before, but hot tears were streaming down his face and he couldn't hold back anymore. "I'm sorry I'm such a fucking mess and that I prefer myself when I'm walking on a tight rope between life and death! I know that I'm killing myself so just shut up, please. I know how messed up it all is. I don't need a reminder," he finished his rant, breathing heavily as he wiped some tears away, "Sorry...sorry, I shouldn't have lashed out."

"No, no, it's fine," Nick said softly, "You're right, I'm sorry. I just, I don't really understand all of it but I really am trying, and if I'm doing something wrong then please tell me."

Karl took a shaky breath as he leant against the outside wall, eventually sinking down to the floor and looking up at him. "I know that you're trying, thank you for that...I just...I don't even know...it's hard."

Hannah walked over to them before he could even reply and despite being curious about the scene in front of her, just simply asked, "Can we talk to Nick for a bit? We'll only be a few minutes."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Nick nodded a bit before looking over at Karl, "I'll be back soon."

Once Nick was sitting down in front of the two, he frowned seeing how sympathetic they both seemed. "What's wrong?" Nick immediately questioned.

"This might be hard to hear which is why we wanted to tell you first since the two of you seem really close," Hannah started, earning a raised eyebrow from Nick, "But we think that the only way we can really be sure Karl gets better is to enroll him in a rehabilitation center for eating disorders."

"Oh..."

"Of course there's a few places to choose from depending on funds and there's free ones as well but if you have the money then please look into some of the other ones. They're much safer and have a higher success rate."

"Oh..."

"Sorry, I can see you need time to process this but many places do have visiting hours on specific days," she said and handed him a few pamphlets, "I know that Karl won't take himself to any of them so we're begging you, please try and convince him. He's one of the sweetest patients I've had but he only seems to listen to you."

"I, um, I'll try my best. Thank you."