Shaking || karlnap

7. disappear

"Karl?"

Nicks' soft voice rang through his ears. He tried to answer but only heavy breaths escaped him. His fast pacing was broken by the feeling of Nicks' arms holding him tightly against his chest.

"Hey, calm down," The shorter whispered as he brought a hand through the others hair. Karl paused, taking a shaky breath against Nicks' chest. Before he knew it, he was staining Nick's hoodie with his tears.

"I-I'm sorry," Karl managed to choke out in barely a whisper.

"Don't be sorry, you shouldn't have to talk about anything that you're not comfortable with," Nick answered as he continued to play with his hair.

That calmed him down a bit, but he knew he would have to face the music eventually. Yet, Nicks' next words made him even more tense, "I am worried about you though Karl, I'm scared you're disappearing right in front of me..."

Disappearing

.........Disappearing

If only he knew that that was exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to dissapear. Or at least be small enough to feel like he wasn't taking up space. Small enough to feel like he wasn't ruining everything.

"I'm fine," Karl eventually answered after moments of silence, "It's just...it's my ADD medicine, it makes me lose my appetite and sometimes I just forget."

It was a lie he had told countless times but it seemed to satisfy Nick for now as he let go of him and showed him a sad smile, "Just please stay safe, okay? You're my best friend and if something happened to you then I would never forgive myself."

Karl slowly nodded as he rubbed his eyes to wipe away the last remaining tears, "Thank you...for everything," he said in a voice so soft that Nick struggled to hear it, "I...I should go end the stream."

"I did it for you," Nick smiled softly, "I figured that you would want me to."

Karl nodded, again, and showed him a small smile, "C-can...can we cuddle again?" he asked as he fiddled with his fingers. Instead of answering, Nick took his hand, lead him over to the couch and sat down with him before opening his arms for Karl to come and cuddle against him which he immediately did.

"Let's order a pizza or something, yeah?" Nick suggested.