46. we can stop now

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Silence used to be comfortable with Russ but this silence was the painful. Deafening silence as we try to think, decide and as we try to sink in tha fact that this could be the last time we'd get this close to each other.

After today, promises would break and I no longer have Russ by my side until I take my last breath.

"Kendall, please." I touched his face after wiping my own tears. I put my forehead against his and savored the last time our hearts were tied to each other. Russ didn't pull away, he just put his hand on my hand that was holding his cheek.

"We can stop now. Let's stop Russ. I can't bear to see you like that. I know you're tired." I whispered. I smiled genuinely at him while preventing sobs coming out of his breath.

I pulled back a little only to kiss his forehead goodbye. I was about to get away when Russ pulled me to him. He hugged me when I heard the faint 'thank you' from his mouth.

"I'll sleep at Gigi's house later. Not because of what happened. We plan to sleep over later." I lied as I wiped my tears. I can't afford to go to the condo. Especially because later I knew he wouldn't go home.

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