dive into you | jongsang (✓)

- fifty one -

days passed, and yeosang only grew more overwhelmed. between planning his mother's funeral with jongho and wooyoung's help, receiving many people's condolences, and trying to grieve himself, it was all just too much. jongho could tell, but wanted to wait and see if the older would come to him. when he realized yeosang was trying not to, he finally decided to bring it up, pulling him gently to the guest room and away from their friends.

"yeo... you haven't been using the pattern... i know you're overwhelmed, i can see it in your face... why didn't you tell me?"

yeosang was silent, looking everywhere other than the boy's eyes.

"love... please don't shut me out..."

"i-i w-wanted to do it b-by m-myself..."

jongho nodded, gently pulling yeosang close.

"i know you did, yeo... i know."

"d-do i have to go b-back out?" yeosang asked weakly.

jongho shook his head, kissing the boy's forehead lightly.

"no, of course not... you just stay here, yeah? i'm gonna let san or woo know..."

yeosang nodded, walking over to the bed and laying down.

"do you want anything to eat or drink while i'm out there?"

"n-no... j-just hurry... p-please?"

jongho nodded again and quickly went to let wooyoung and san know that the two were going to be in the guest room and that yeosang just needed some time to decompress. meanwhile, yeosang started sobbing in the guest room, feelings of frustration and being overwhelmed taking over his body. he realized he hadn't been allowing himself to feel, and now it was all coming out at once.

"baby..." jongho whispered as he walked back in, seeing the boy curled up, sobbing.

jongho sat down next to yeosang and pulled him close, holding the boy protectively, as if to shield him from the outside world. everything felt so heavy to yeosang, he couldn't even hold himself up anymore.

"let's lay down, yeah?"

yeosang only nodded, letting jongho pull him into a laying position. he continued to sob, and jongho didn't even try to stop him. he knew how badly yeosang needed to let his emotions show, and this was it.

"love... if you decide you want to talk about anything you just let me know, okay? but just being here with you is enough for me. i don't want you to feel pressured to do anything."

"t-thank—" yeosang said, choking slightly on his words.

"shh... you don't have to thank me. everything i do is because i love you."

yeosang snuggled into jongho in response, continuing to cry until there were no tears left. he then laid there, shaking, holding on as tightly as he could to jongho in fear that he would lose him too.

nearly an hour had passed as he did, and soon after, there was a knock at the door.

"is it okay if i open it or no?"

yeosang shook his head, not wanting anyone to see him like this. he barely wanted jongho to, but he also knew how badly he needed the boy.

"okay," jongho whispered, then calling out to whoever was at the door. "now's not a good time... i'm sorry."

"jjong... i brought food for you guys," san called.

"can you just leave it outside of the door? yeo doesn't want to see anyone right now..."