All is Fair in Love and War

Aboard in The Night

Luz' (POV)

It wasn't announced until after the boat was in gear that it would take 8 days to get to the dock on the edge of France. That estimated our arrival date to be around May 5th. Great.

While the ship was quite large, we were still required to have roommates because there were a LOT of men aboard.

I was in Room 207 with Augustus and Vee (which I fought against, but I didn't end up winning). At least we got our own beds. The beds were small, and almost rock hard, but I was surprised to find the bed came with a feathered pillow and a sheet. Heaven had a place on earth.

In Room 208, August, Matt, Hunter, and King slept. King and August were going to share a bed, with one sleeping at the foot and the other at the top. It was odd to me that all the rooms had 3 beds in them.

Why not 2, or 4? Why 3?

We didn't get much of a tour of the ship, but tomorrow, the captain, Hank, who insisted that we call him Hooty, promised that we would get one. Hank was a tall, handsome(in his words) man. He was broad shouldered, with really big muscles. He looked to be in his 30's and had a great sense of humor (or at least he though it was).

I thought it was a bit annoying, but I wasn't going to tell him that. It was already pretty late into the night, and I couldn't sleep, so I rolled out of bed and put on a shirt.

As a little kid, my father never prayed. We weren't the religious type, but he did joke about it. He would joke about how he prayed that I would never have defining feminine features.

At the time, I was sad he said this, but now, I couldn't be more grateful that I didn't have any evidence of a chest or hips. Showering proved a challenge when he died.

As soon as he died, I was considered the man of my non-existent family. The adult. I was required to bathe with the other men since I was 13 or 14, which proved a difficult task for a while.

I would shower in the middle of the night, by the river, with the risk of wolves, or I just wouldn't bathe for weeks. I came up with the idea to ask the women if I could shower with them, since I was technically still a kid, but they rejected that. They didn't know anything about me anyways.

My father had always presented me as a eunuch, but it wasn't until Boscha really started being my friend that I started living that lie.

Originally, I had thought she was a fine young woman, but seeing how every other man objectified her, it made me disgusted. She was still just a scared little girl. She didn't like to be touched.

She didn't like to talk about her past or what the master always called her in for. She was brave and bossy, but I knew it was just a lie. A cover-up. August gave me that vibe as well, but I didn't push it because I never pushed Boscha either.

That's what made us so similar, me and Boscha. We were both living lies. Covering up our past and anything that could lead to it. Boscha became the only person in the world who knew my secret, and I, hers. So there, shower buddy! :D

I pulled on the jacket Hank had supplied me with. I hadn't excepted it graciously either. Instead, he insisted over and over that he had a few and I looked cold and worn out, and that I needed a coat to wear for cool nights I was to face.

It was a dark-grey wool coat from London. He notified me that the coat was handcrafted by a consistent passenger of the SS-Hooty, who gave the coat for free to Hank, but in any case, it was probably worth at least 30$.

The pockets could hold all my belongings and more. They were sure to keep my hands warm. In my opinion, it felt like a heavy trench coat because Hank was so much larger than me. But in any case, I was very warm.

I slipped out the door and walked down the halls to try and find the main deck, where I would be able to look out clearly and see the ocean. I made sure to keep track of which halls I was walking down as I went back and forth, searching for the exit.

Now mumbling, I retraced my steps once again, to find myself at the same spot I had started from. I huffed in annoyance. In front of me, the door to Room 207 seemed to almost mock me. I was tired at this point and was almost about to call it a night when I heard footsteps behind me.

I turned to right instinctively, letting out a breath I didn't know I had been holding in.

August stood before me, wearing a baby blue night long-sleeved shirt and pants. He had a small night cap of the same color on his head and was leaning on his cane. His face was swollen and red, like he had been crying.

Ignoring my bad gut feeling, I approached him, smiling, and asked, "What are you doing up so late?"

He looked into my eyes, making me notice his tear-stained face, with new tears already building up. My face dropped. I guess he really had been crying. "Hey, are you o-"

"Go to bed. You shouldn't be up this late," his tone caught me off guard. It was rough and forced. Not soft, like I imagined it would be in this moment.

"What?"

"Captain told us to stay in our rooms."

"You're not in your room."

A single tear rolled down the left side of his face. He looked a little broken. "Look, I know I don't know you all that well, but do you... need a hug?" I don't like hugs, but this guy needed one.

August looked up at me and just started sobbing. I could see him trying to muffle his sobs, to quiet them, but he wasn't doing much. At that point, he dropped his cane, and hugged himself, falling to the floor.

I rushed over to him and knelt down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. After a couple minutes, his sobs quieted down until he was just shaking.

The tears had ceased, but the pain was still there. I rubbed circles on his back, remembering that method had always helped calm Boscha down when she had one of her episodes.

"I'm sorry," August whispered. "I know I should be stronger. I know I shouldn't cry. I know I shouldn't lie. But I failed him."

While I had zero idea of what he was talking about, but I wanted to help. "I'm sure you didn't fail anyone. Hell, you're family is probably so proud of you!" I tried to be optimistic. Was it working?

"No," he muttered, his voice wearing thin. My optimism did not work. I should stay to being a pessimist.

"You don't get it. I- I took my father's place coming here. I-I went to tell my brother, and he got so sad. I don't belong here. I don't know what I was even thinking!" He spat the last part, like this whole damn war was all his fault.

"No."

"What?"

"You're wrong. You're brother's wrong. You may not belong in the war, but do any of us? But you belong with us. It was fate that brought us here. I-It had to be," I was angry now. I couldn't take back my actions either. I couldn't go back to the farm, to Will and Boscha. I had to embrace my future. I had to shape it.

And if it hadn't been fate that brought me to this place, then this was all for nothing, and I couldn't think like that. Because if I had no reason for fighting, why was I even here? And so I promised myself something that night. And then I promised the same thing to August. "I promise you, we'll make it out together. For your brother, and your father. For Will. And for Boscha."

A/N: Two today because I'm going out of town for the weekend. I actually have most of these pre-written, so these weren't rushed. I just needed to proof read them and fix little things!