tryst [third] // h.s

3.04

Chapter four

Harry Styles

Alone. Empty. Spacious. This is what it feels like to have a recording studio all by myself.

Niall isn't here, tuning his guitar on the couch; or Louis writing over the printer sheet lyrics while Liam looks for crazy rhymes to use in our songs. Even Zayn's quiet presence feels like it's missing.

Now I'm by myself. Even when I have Zee to assist me in every way she can, it's not the same thing. The worst part is that she has been having meetings in Los Angeles with Cassie and hasn't been able to come in yet but hopefully today she shows up.

I want her to meet my new guitarist, Mitch. He is roommate to one of the studio guys and he came as a replacement two days ago and I have been meaning to ask him to join me, in whatever it is that I am pursuing next. This guy has talent and I would hate to see his potential get wasted when he's exactly what I needed.

He seems like a good guy. He doesn't talk much but he doesn't need to. Not when he plays the guitar the way he does. He's been fixing the rough arrangements I had put down on my own and it honestly sounds amazing.

I can't wait to show Zara what I have been working on for the past few days I have been in the studio.

We arrived in Los Angeles just a few days ago and I have been dreading coming back to the studio because it will be the first time I came alone since being with the rest of the guys, recording the final album. It's a bittersweet memory with the beginning of something new.

A few of the guys that I have worked with before are here. Julian, Tyler, Tom, and a few others so it's not like I am physically by myself, but it's odd not to have the rest of the boys with me.

It's definitely something that I have to get used to and what I am most looking forward to is having a closed session with Zara. Perhaps not here but in London, where she has her own studio and label, but it's something I want us to do and it can become our thing.

I also feel like we could both learn from each other. Mainly because she writes from a place of vulnerability and sings with an open heart. Don't be fooled, she is extremely careful with her personal and love life, but she allows the rest of the world to get a little hint with her songs.

I like to be vague, and I know the rest of the world is used to knowing everything about me, now even Zara but I want that to change. I want to be lowkey about this record that doesn't have a release date yet, but I would like to try.

I have no concept or vision, not even a clue on where to start but for now, I have been writing this song, a rock song that's a bit short but has potential nevertheless. It doesn't have a title yet but I would like it to be something I don't explicitly say in the lyrics, just to confuse people.

The thing I want to see the most is Zara's reaction. I know she is an old music lover and while this isn't particularly it, it's inspired by 70's and 80's rockstars. It's a vision I had a while back, maybe six or seven months back in time, a weird dream that I had, so it's a collection of things.

Mitch is currently shyly showing me a few arrangements of the song we have been working on and it's mind-blowing that a guy with this much potential and talent is insecure of his abilities because he's a monster, he's truly amazing.

And while I don't know if going solo is a thing for me in the future, I know that if I were to do it I would like someone like him in my band.

I have kept in contact with Adam, who worked with us while in One Direction so he is a possibility too but I don't want to get ahead of myself. Zara is good at reminding me of that. That I have no pressure from a record label or a deadline to meet.