tryst [third] // h.s

3.06

Chapter six

Harry Styles

Have you ever traveled six hours across a whole wide ocean in a confined space with someone you just had a fight with?

I hadn't until yesterday and let me tell you, it was uncomfortable. At least for me, it was, Zara was just relieved that I was there holding her hand as I always do.

And I was very fucking close to not going and leaving her alone but I knew that way she wouldn't be able to forgive me because I have to be honest with myself, it was pretty immature of me to just leave her there to fend for herself.

I needed some time to focus on myself and rearrange my priorities because all of what's been going on for the past few days has been overwhelming and I took it out on her.

What I said is true, I am not ready to see Zayn again. Nor do I think I want to see him either. Our relationship ended the day he walked out on us and didn't look back. I tried my best to keep in contact with him, mainly for Zara but he wouldn't let me.

Zara doesn't know but when she was mourning our miscarriage I tried to call him because I was desperate to help her feel better that I did the unthinkable but he wasn't there for her and I took that very personally.

There are a hundred different reasons as to why I don't want to see him but that's the one that hurts the most. That he wasn't there for his sister and he bailed on every single one of us, and I won't forgive him.

He is allowed to not want to see me but I am forced to see him when he says he wants? That's not happening and I'm so sorry for Zara but this isn't how it works.

Now, I have to remember that Zara is my girlfriend and now my concubine so I have to man up and apologize. Even when I did nothing wrong and I sort of made up with showing up to our flight and holding her hand for 7 hours straight, it's not enough.

We got home yesterday and she went to her flat when we arrived to pick up a few things while I went home and got everything settled for her to arrive. We had dinner and we went to bed pretty late because we were jet-lagged but we didn't talk much.

First night at home and we had already broken one of our living together rules. No going to bed mad at each other.

Still, I feel like even with our differences we were able to put them aside and at least sleep under the same roof, in the same bed so that's a point for us. I don't think we are angry anymore but she is quite upset and I'm a bit hurt.

That's why I snuck up on her this morning and went for a run, so I can clear my ideas and figure out what I am going to say. I stopped by the bakery near our house and got her some of her favorite pastries with chocolate.

I lock the gate on the way in and smile as I see her car in the driveway. This is a thing, like an everyday thing. I get to see her every single day right when I wake up and before I go to bed. It's fantastic.

I walk to our house and I realize everything is quiet, with all the blinds shut so it means Zara is still asleep. I leave the bag of pastries in the kitchen and I start brewing some coffee, taking out the hot chocolate mix so I can make one for her after my shower.

I go up taking my earphones and jacket off, tiptoeing as I reach the third floor, our bedroom. Begin extremely careful with my steps, I close the door so no light comes in and I tiptoe towards Zara.

She's still asleep in the same position I left her. Her mouth is open with a bit of dry drool on the corner of her lips but she looks beautiful as always with her short hair disheveled in every other way.