Bits of Chemistry | ✓

Kabanata 22

Kabanata 22

"I won't be home later," paalam ko kay Dayanara habang kumakain kami ng umagahan. "Baka gabihin din ako."

"Be careful. . ." sagot ni Dayanara, hindi na siya umangal. She was in front of the other Reverios but I could see her clenching her fists below the table.

"Sino ang kasama mo, Solstice?" Alfos asked. Nakita ko ang kakaunting saya kay Dayanara. She probably thought this is her chance to halt my plans.

"Si Etienne Soteiro po," I answered nonchalantly. "Boyfriend ko po."

Adren coughed loud enough to express his annoyance. Nabilaukan 'yata, hindi agad natanggal ang pagkagulat sa kan'yang mukha. What did he expect anyway? Adren looked like he was flabbergasted upon hearing it directly from me.

"The both of you are dating?" Lolo asked, finally intrigued. Of course, I brought the Soteiro surname in our conversation. Imposibleng hindi n'ya ito kilala.

"Opo," I said.

"That's good!" Lolo laughed, pinunasahn ang gilid ng kan'yang labi gamit ng isang table napkin. "Finally, a tie between a Soteiro and Reverio! You have to share me the latest news about the both of you. Congrats, Solstice."

Ngumiti lang ako sa sinabi ni Lolo. Biglang bumaluktot ang mga iniisip ko. Ang totoo n'yan ay nandidiri ako. Ang bait n'ya kay Adren ngunit ganito kababaw ang tingin n'ya sa akin. My only achievement for him is being a Soteiro's girlfriend. Bigla tuloy ako'ng nagsisi na sinabi ko pa 'yon. Sana sinarili ko na lamang.

After our breakfast, I reminded Etienne about our date. Kahit no'ng kagabi ay hindi na siya mapakali. Lalo na siguro ngayong araw dahil ito na talaga 'yon.

Etienne:

Wala ka bang gagawin sa school? Hindi naman ito importante.

Lavy:

Wala nga? I told you, it's a date with you. It's important to me.

Etienne:

Sure ka ba talaga?

Puwede naman na hindi.

I don't mind.

Lavy:

Oo nga?

Etienne:

🙁 okay.

Hindi ko maiwasan ang umirap dahil sa pangungulit n'ya. At the same time, the guilt in my heart grew. I know why he's so adamant about the date. Alam ko kung saan siya nanggagaling.

Ikaw ba naman umasa noon at mabigo. My heart clenched at the thought that Etienne waited for me that day. Hindi pa nakatulong na naaksidente siya dahil sa akin.

Bumuntonghininga ako at hinanap ang makapal kong coat sa aking closet. I rummaged the clothes that I was supposed to wear during his skating program before, however it was already too small for me. Kaya naman naghanap na lang ako ng isang makapal na coat para hindi ako masyadong ginawin.

It was years ago but the feeling of betrayal is still there. Just like how wounds create scars, it reminds you of how painful it used to be. It doesn't really ease the pain, you just cope with it. You just learn how to live with it.

I sighed once again and looked at my old coat.

Maybe we don't really forget about the painful anamnesis; maybe we just choose not to think about it. We don't really move on, we just accept that we can't do anything about it anymore.