Written in Ink

Forty-six | Reagan

 The next day was really lonely. Remy didn't come over so it was just me and the dogs. I ended up sitting outside in the sun beds with a book in my hands and each of the dogs on my side. Even though it's chilly outside, the sun feels nice on my face. I got a lot of books. But I just don't want to read anymore.

"God, I am so bored."

I try to play on my phone, and watch television. That doesn't work.

"Marco?" I dial his number.

"Mrs. Napolitani?" He rushes out. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just really bored." I told him. "Is there like a pool here? Or something?" I complain.

He is silent for a while. "I don't know..."

"I am just really bored." I whine.

"Did you read a book?" He suggests.

"Two." I replied.

"Watch TV?"

"I've watched too much television the months I've been here." I respond.

"So what?" He deadpans.

"You're really no help. If I can't do anything, can I at least get some lunch?" I question.

"Yes, anything in particular?"

"Surprise me. Nothing with seafood." I state.

"Okay, it'll be half an hour." Marco explains.

"Okay, thank you." Then I end the call. I'm so incredibly bored. I call over the dogs and look down at them. "Do you guys have any toys?" I ask them as if I'm actually going to get an answer. Surprisingly, they trot out to the patteo and look back at me to follow them. "Coming." I chuckle making my way over.

They bring me to a bin that is filled with dog toys. They happily grab a rope that is tied together in one not in the middle. It's a three-way rope so they each grab a side of it and then there is one left and I assume I take it. I'm not prepared so when I take a hold of it, they immediately begin to yank and pull.

"Ah!" I yelp. "Start over! I wasn't ready!"

They giddily trot over and offer the rope again. I take it and hold on tight, feeling a burn in my biceps as soon as they begin to pull. In the end I lost, but it was fun and it tuckered us all out. I play fetch with them all around the estate, and just play with them in general. It makes me less bored for about an hour until I'm fine to go and watch some television. Buchanon, Lorenzo and I curl up on the couch with the TV on being bums for the rest of the day.

As depressing as it sounds, when dinner time came, I ordered in ice cream and some pizza. When I finish eating it, looking at the two-thirds of pizza left and empty pint, I feel guilty.

I've always been a "bigger" girl, insecurities always hit me hard. No one ever was mean to me, never picked on me or said anything. It was only me saying that. When I got into my last two years of school I decided to drop any and all issues with myself and focused on my studies. Since then I've been happy in my own skin. I'm proud I've moved past this.

But ever since the whole "you're being forced to marry a Mafia Don that has a asshole of a dad who is reviving the insecure eating disorder inside of me, but hey the Mafia Don is super nice and pretty hot", it's been harder to stay positive and confident.

I was hungry, I didn't have breakfast, just lunch. It's justified.

I have a Gala tomorrow. I'll be in front of so many people with a bloated tummy. Why would I eat so much?