27 Days of us

Chapter-19

Look into my eyes and say whatever you want

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"Wake up! Wake up!"

I was living in the sky, beyond the clouds. Where no one can see you. No one can find you and then I felt cold.

"Wake up Now!"

I opened my eyes and found myself completely drenched in water.
"Mother???" I let out a yelp in pain.

My whole body was shivering, my hands were cold, my hair was wet and I was on the verge of sneezing throughout my skin.

"Mother??? What's wrong with you?" I complained again, as a little child as I was at some point in time.

"Stop being a baby Julia, you are going to marry in three days, now open your eyes, and get dressed. We are going to start the ritual ceremonies as soon as possible."

"What rituals ceremonies? What are you talking about???"

I was confused as hell, my mind was bursting with pain, and maybe I am going to die soon due to her sudden explode of cold to me.

"You are going to be someone's bride, so don't ask questions and get up! And what is this??? Why you were holding this book when you were asleep? Look at it now- it is all wet, all the pages are ruined,"

And then I looked at my hands, the same black hardcover book, with the initials N.V.M

She was in too much hurry she almost snatched that book from my hand to throw it away somewhere at the end corner of the room.

"No! This book belongs to me. I will take care of it!"

She raised her eyebrows, suspiciously making me gritt my teeth even more.

"Okay then, be ready in half an hour. Everyone is waiting for you," then she walked away.

I breathed again to calm my nerves, my heart was still pounding in my chest and my head was feeling fuzzy too but what I can see myself doing is clutching that book in my hand so hard that no one ever going to snatch away it from me.

I got up, cleaned myself and took a shower.
I closed my eyes

"I love you," I heard his words again, his words were thriving me since last night.

"Please, listen to me," he said to me, but I know it is too late. He cannot do anything to please me neither I can do. We are not designated to be each others. Our destiny is not as good as we think.

I came out of the bathroom, and a yellow lehenga was waiting for me already on the bed.

So, today is a ceremony of Haldi. And I have to get ready, to wear this outfit that is going to perfectly inch away with my body, had to wear the demolished jewels made up of flowers. Arnav was going to be my side we were going to sit and then one by one all the people will take some amount of Haldi mixture and apply it to our face, hands wherever they want.

As this ceremony will clear all my doubts, make me warm, and cleanse my soul too. When I glimpse outside.  I saw everyone was chattering or should I say laughing, their eyes must be full of joy and enormous pleasure while I have nothing to do nothing to say.

I wore the lehnga very quickly, it was beautiful, it was crafted very well with the embellishment of pearls and other stones. I saw my view in the mirror. My eyes were not sparkling, they were not lit with the love, there was no passion in them, instead, they were in vain, cold, lost and no one has noticed that.

I applied some lipgloss, and that's it!
I look at that book again, I took it in my hands, to see its condition, I had left it in the presence of air because I know from its modesty it will get dry.

I opened the first page and then found his face gawking at me.

I closed it again, why I am in delusion? What is wrong with me??

Why I am hearing his voice and seeing his face???

When he is not near me?

What the hell has happened to me??

Can't I just forget about everything?

I closed my eyes and found grandpa near me. He was old sitting on his chair, and I was on his lap, I was a little girl, wearing a blue skirt.

"Tell me dada what is love???" I heard myself saying to him.

His eyes gaze at me and then I saw something sparkling in them. His eyes dilated for a second, "you know Julia, what is inside your chest, beating enormously like a cold wind, isn't made up of love, always remember that your heart is not made up of love, neither mines, our hearts are made up of water, flawless, shapeless, colourless, and timeless, you cannot predict anything from it, you just have to go with the flow," and then he vanished.

What does he mean by that???

"Julia are you ready?" There was a knock on the door.

"Yes," I uttered.

Then mother came, with two of three young girls, whom I hardly remember. But they were what any other young girl ought to be.

They were pleased, a glint of eyes was on their eyes, and chuckling every time.

"Now, it's your duty girls, to help her out," my mother started walking, leaving me all alone.

Those girls came, I was stuck in the centre, they were all around me.

"Di, tell me do you love him??"

"No, tell me where are you going for your honeymoon?"

"No, tell me when you first met him?? Who proposed whom??? "

And what should I say???? What should I tell them???

Do I love him???

No, I don't!

"Yes. I do." My voice was barely a fragile whisper to be heard.

And what am I going to tell them about Where I am going for my honeymoon?

I am not ready for that yet, I am not ready for anything,

"We have not decided yet," I tried to smile, or let out a chuckle so that no one could get suspicious of me.

And what should I tell to when I first met him?

I first met him in my own house, he was my suitor, set up by my aunt. And there is nothing like romantic in my life. There was no proposal between us.

It was just designated to be. Nothing is romantic in my life. Everything is planned as a goat brought up only to get slaughtered one day.

At the garden area, everything was beautifully decorated, the world looks so small to me now. Everyone was so pleased to look at me.

I sat beside Arnav. He was also wearing a white kurta, sunglasses were on his face, hiding his eyes from mine. And I am very grateful for that.

"You look beautiful," he whispered, so closely that only I could hear his voice.

He took my hand in his and kissed it as people do while introducing each other.

"Smile," and then when I thought I am never going to see him again, I saw him under the sunlight wearing a blue kurta, holding a camera in his hands when his hair was moving with the flow of wind.

He was wearing black sunglasses, but I know he was looking at me, looking at me with regret.

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