The Girl He Didn't See

Chapter 10 : I'm just...dying

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I believe in music the way most people believe in fairy tales.
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River
I get so nervous just thinking about her. Sometimes I avoid her just to get rid of the feeling but I know there's no point in it when I know it's just going to come back.

We arrived at our date. I took her to the carnival. The town carnival which was her favorite place when we were kids . I thought she'd like it.

"Here?" She asked me shifting uncomfortably.

"Yeah, is it okay?" I asked with fear in my voice.

"Yeah it's fine. It's just the place you took me in the 7th grade and you ended up ditching me for Nadine." She said and it almost broke my heart. I remember that day.

It was the day Nadine told me she liked me. It was one of the best days of that summer. It was the day my I brought my friends to ride the rides. And we got ice cream and I asked Zarah to be my partner on the spinning ride.

I realized that was when Nadine came. She saw me and told me she liked me and I walked with her. And now it hit me. I left Zarah for Nadine. No wonder she seemed so uncomfortable.

"Do you want-" I stopped for a second. "We could go somewhere else of you want." I placed my hand over hers. She shook her head.

"No, you planned this date, and I'll go along with it." She said with a half smile, and I knew. This date had to be perfect.

"Okay, well let's go. " I smiled and walked out the car to her side when she swung her door open. I gave her my hand and she got out smiling. I took her hand in mine and walked her into the carnival. The feeling of her hand against mine built a fire in me that couldn't be put out. God the things she makes me feel are so intense.

We walked all over and rode almost every single ride. On the ones that went really fast she'd scrunch her face at me and I admit, it was so adorable. But I started to get hungry.

"Angel cake, are you hungry?" I asked her running my fingers through my wind blown hair. She looked at me and nodded so I led her to the food area and bought us nachos to share. I set it down on the table and she sat next to me and began to eat.

A piece of her hair stuck out which made me smile, but I fixed it and she smiled saying thank you. I ran my thumb across her cheek. She grinned and noticed I was still looking at her.

"What?" She asked, placing another chip in her mouth. I shook my head but she placed her tiny hands on mine.

"Tell me Madden. " I sighed, "Nothing, just i never thought I'd be here with you. I didn think you'd give a guy like me a chance, I mean especially after I was such a shit friend to you in middle school. I sometimes think to myself, she will never love me the way I love her. She can't love a guy like me. A guy who will never be worth the love you have to offer. Because I don't, I don't deserve you. I screwed up so much and-"

She cut me off and kissed my cheek. I began to feel the blood rush to my cheeks. "What was that for?"

She giggled "to get you to stop babbling. And because it's cute you'd think that. I remember it being me thinking that. " she placed another chip in her mouth and smiled again.

"Well now you don't have to worry about that now Angel Cake."I placed my hand over here and intertwined our fingers together.

I'm glad I don't make her feel that way anymore. I mean it sucks having that feeling but I'm glad she doesn't feel that way anymore.

We were finishing up our nachos and that's when I saw someone out of the corner of my eye. It was Nadine. Oh crap I knew I had to leave, our relationship didn't really end well. She dumped me for some side dude and as soon as I got over her she kept trying to get me back.

"Hey I have one more stop but we have to go right now." I told Zarah and I held my hand out and she followed. I started to walk faster and Nadine was making her way toward us. Oh no.

"Hey River" dammit. The girl spoke and Zarah turned around to look. I looked at Zarah's face and her beautiful smile faded... And so did mine. I clutched Zarah's hand tighter as she approached us.

"Long time no see babe." She said grinning. "I'm not your babe Nadine." My teeth clenched. "I'm on a date."

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm Nadine, what's your name?" She introduced herself. I knew she wasn't sorry. The bitch is never sorry.

Zarah held on a little tighter. "Yeah I know. Hi Nadine. It's Zarah." Nadine's mouth dropped. "Zarah? Dorky fat Zarah? " she said knowing she brought back some memories to her,

"You mean the smart and beautiful Zarah." I corrected her and Zarah smiled. "To him, but yeah that one."

Nadine began speaking again "wow you look great." She said fakely. God I was so tired of her bullshit.

"Well we have to go." I said and turned but she stopped me. God why can't I get a break from her.

"Can we talk for a second. " she asked. And before I could say anything Zarah spoke up. "I'm going to the bathroom anyways so go ahead. "

"You sure?" She heard the nervousness in my voice and kissed my cheek. And nodded, walking away.

"What do you want Nadine?" I said annoyed,

"You know what I want. I want you as my boyfriend again. What are you doing anyways? Strutting with that bitch on your arm" she said and my body started to heat with anger.

"She's just going to hurt you. I'm the only real woman who understands you," she said and I clenched my fists.m

"Well your not going to get it. We're over. We always will be" I gritted through my teeth.

"We'll see about that" she said and she grabbed me and slammed her lips against mine. I pushed her off and turned to see Zarah. Her face completely blank.

"Wait Zarah!" I shouted as she stormed away from me. My heart was shattering into millions of pieces. And with every word she spoke broke it a little more.

"No stay away from me. God I knew you were trouble the second you looked at me through that door. And I believe you had changed. The way you looked at me with lust. The way you spoke to me like I was the only one. But I guess I was wrong, it's not the first time I've been wrong. And to think, this date was great until you started kissing that bitch over there. This is the second time you've done this to me River. I'm not going to deal with this. Just leave me alone. Please." She said wiping the tear away from her face. She kept walking and when I tried to speak she'd just shoo me.

It may not have been my fault, but I let it happen. I knew I shouldn't have stayed. And now I'm just... Dying. She's broken me.