🄿🄻🄴🄰🅂🄴, 🅂🅃🄰🅈 | OsaSuna Angst

Happiness

AKAASHI'S POV

I have been calling Atsumu for the last two hours but he never picks up his phone. I am just starting to get worried about both of them right now...

I don't want to overthink things so I have been trying to at least contact him.

I received a text message from Atsumu afterwards saying that he'll be back in an hour or two...

Isn't he worried or anything?.. I mean...

I sighed as I looked outside the window of this hospital room.

I know... Atsumu is probably taking these things more seriously than anyone else....

I replied with a simple
To: Atsumu 🦊
~okay. be careful.

My phone rings afterwards.

"Hello."

OSAMU'S POV

I felt a comfortable, familiar warm sensation in my left cheek.

It feels like someone is watching over me at this moment... I felt at ease while feeling the heat of this palm.

~
I opened my eyes to see a white painted ceiling.

My eyes darted to my right hand... and saw an IV drip... So I'm in the hospital.... What happened to me?

I frown. Last thing I remembered is drinking at the bar with an old man whom I never ask the name... and everything else seems blank after that....

On my left, I saw him holding into my hands tightly.

It's warm and calming. He slightly moved his head and I got the clear view of Akaashi, he's laying his head in the left side of the bed.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Akaashi... I'm.."

He jumped out of his seat and hugged me so tight that I have to tap his back to loosen it up.

"I'M SORRY, SAMU!!!! I'm just so worried.. I... I'm so..rry... for... leaving .. you . alone... I'm...sorry.. I..." he said whimpering

"Hey... It's.. not your.. fault, Akaashi.. Okay?" I replied weakly as I tried to sit on the bed.

He sat down in the chair and never looked away.

"I.. I shouldn't left home last night... I'm sorry for the trouble..." I replied disappointed in myself

"No.. It isn't your fault, Samu.... But we're just glad you're safe and nothing bad happened to you .... because if that would happen, I won't be able to forgive myself...."

"I... Akaashi.. Please, don't blame yourself.... I'm sorry. I don't want... to cause any problem to you... Thank you for always being with me... I.. want to.."

What do I even want, anyway? Akaashi deserves so much better than I am... and I haven't moved on still... but the more I keep going on like this Akaashi would always get hurt because of me..

"I want to.. give your feelings a shot." I continued

Tears rolled down his eyes as he lowered his head.

"Akaashi... Hey, what's-" I asked as I caressed his cheek.

"No.. Samu.. No.. Please... I don't want you to do that because of pity... I don't want any of us commit ourselves because of guilt ..."

"But... I really-"

"I know... He's still the one... not me... Don't force yourself... to love me... Because whether you love me or not, I... I'll always be here for you, Osamu" he replied

He gazed up at me with a smile but tears still trailing down his pinkish face.

"I..I'm sorry, Akaashi... I truly am sorry... for hurting you... But..."

"I'll stay... and wait.. until I become worthy of you, Samu... because.. I love you".

I froze... He smiled sweetly but his eyes are full of sadness.. It's painful...

"Akaashi... please, let me just be fair enough for you... let me try, please...."

Shocked, he stared at me.
"Let me court you..."

"But..."

"Please... I... I want to learn to love you back.."

"I thought.. I made it clear that I don't want you to-"

"I know... But, I want to move on..."

"So, you're saying... you want to use me, is that it, Osamu?" he glared at me

"No... Akaashi... It's not like that.... I value you a lot... I want to learn how to return your feelings... I want to be happy....with you ..."

After a lengthy silence....

"Please, Akaashi?"

I leaned forward to him and embraced him... and I felt the tears on my shoulders as he nuzzle himself into it.

There's pain behind each smile... There's tears in every lie.

We don't know what lies ahead,
but I want to cherish this moment...

I want to be happy...
I want his happiness.