The Surgeon

Chapter 50: Rejection Stings

We drove in silence. I was mentally preparing for what I was going to find. We pulled into a gas station and he parked it getting out. I followed confused. He pointed "We will walk this way coming from the back of the home." I nodded following him. It was a lot of trees and open patches on our way. I just kept thinking about what he said. He was always honest with me, was I honest with myself? He put his arm out making me stop. He looked around and looked at the ground. He grabbed a stick nearby and threw it. A trap went off and a net flew into the tree. He pulled out his gun from his twin holster he had over his white dress shirt that was neatly tucked into his jeans. I was so distracted until he spoke. "Get ready."

I pulled my gun out nodding like I knew that, turning the safety off. We moved to the back door. I was pressed against the wall of the house with Levi to my left. Levi moved to open the door and all of a sudden he froze still keeping his gun raised. I was so confused. "Really? This is what you want to do. You might be called Diablo but I have a sinister side as well. Want to see it?"

I heard the man scoff "You're an idiot. I told you over the phone to leave me. I have this under control." As he talked he was walking out the back door. He had his gun raised at Levi and Levi wasn't lowering his weapon. He came all the way out and took a look at me in the corner of his eye. He did a double-take lowering his gun. "What are you doing here... shouldn't you be taking over as the Triade leader?" I could see pain flash in his eyes and I didn't know if it was for me or him.

Levi sighed "Look," He pointed to me "She wanted to do some weird rescue thing."

James moved so he was standing in front of me "I don't need to be saved. I willingly came here. I am doing my own mission. You need to combine the gangs and establish order. Levi is my second in command. I am stepping down as Hydras leader, you go through him."

Levi and I both looked at him with shock. Tears welled up in my eyes "What did I do to you? Tell me what I did to drive you away?"

I saw the hurt and pain again flash in his eyes. He wasn't doing this because he wanted to. What was going on?! I searched his face and his emotion switched off to a colder one "I don't want you anymore. I don't need you anymore. You are wasteful to me now."

Levi raised his gun up "You better watch your next words carefully, brother."

He stepped back from me walking back into the house. Before he slide the back door he left me with the worst words imaginable. "You think you are so special. We just needed someone to sit pretty as the leader of all three. Someone who isn't important. I used you for a purpose. Can't you understand that?" He huffed "Now, leave my house."

I watched as Levi shot the glass. It was bulletproof. I walked over touching his arm and he drops the gun breathing heavily watching James disappear into the house. I knew something was wrong. I knew James was hiding something. If this wasn't a ploy for something I don't know what is. He let out more uneven breaths "He can't talk to you like that and live. What a fucking disgrace. He isn't a Barnes, Amanda. Don't listen to him."

He turned walking away and I followed him. I glanced back at the house. What could have made him act this cold to me? What did I do to deserve this? I saw him in the window drinking whiskey and a little hand reached up tugging at him. I fell to my knees clutching my chest. I broke down. Levi ran up to me "Amanda!? What is wrong?" He gripped my face pulling me up to look at him. I couldn't stop the tears. He let out a groan. "Ok, you don't have to say anything."

He picked me up carrying me all the way back down the hill through the woods to our car. Two miles. He carried me all the way. He placed me in the front seat reclining my seat back for me to lay down. He locked me in the car heading into the gas station. I didn't care to follow or ask. I just sat there. A child. A child was in that home. Was it his child? Was he kidnapping children now? Did he have a secret family? What was I supposed to do with this information?

Levi got back into the car handing me a water and some aspirin. "Here. This should help." I took it robotically. He didn't even give me a second glance he turned the car on driving us straight to the plane waiting to take us home. Home to the mafia kingdom.

--time hop—

We pulled into the drive at James's Mansion if I can even call it that. We walked into it dead silent. Levi was on guard immediately. He pushed me behind him pulling out his gun. He stalked down the hall checking every room as he walked by. We made it to the kitchen and a note was left. He read it passing it to me "Try not to get too worked up."

Amanda & Levi,

We are with Beverly at the safe house. A lot has happened since you left and there is much to explain I know that. Please don't worry. This news isn't as bad as you think. Call the number below asking for Harold.

Look Forward to your call,

Stark.

I looked up at Levi who was already pouring himself a drink. He looked up "You going to call or shall I?" I slid him the paper as he downed the glass of whiskey. He nodded "Me it is." He grabbed the paper walking off to the office where James used to station. Where he used to run Hydra. Used to. I clutched my stomach feeling the emptiness engulf me. What was I supposed to do now? I feel like I was thrown into this life and I still have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I walked around the house hugging myself. This who thing feels like it's my fault. At least I don't have to worry about James getting mad that I fucked his brother. He won't care now. Part of me felt sick. I looked at the time. Levi was in the office for a while. I walked down the hall quietly. I didn't hear anything from inside the room.

I pushed the door open to Levi blank staring at a sheet of paper on the desk. I got closer and noticed it was actually three papers. Thick stacks. I looked at him. He was reading intently. I walked in a little further "Levi...are you ok?"

His head snapped up at me "Why so timid all of a sudden. You think I'm going to break down like my brother and leave you?"

"I am so sick of you Barnes's men." I stormed out slamming the door. I ran up the stairs to my old room. The very first room I had where Weston stayed with me. I ran in slamming the door. I slid down the door frame hugging my legs to my chest letting my sobs come out. I couldn't stop crying it was all I wanted to do. I never fully let myself feel. I never fully let myself recover from all the pain and torture I put myself through. I should have never gotten involved with this life. What did I think I could do, change them? Clearly, that is a waste of time. I locked the door crawling over to the bed. I didn't even make it in the bed I just crumbled at the foot of the bed. I brought my knees to my chest and cried myself to sleep on the cold, dark floor.