Nanny Diaries 3 - Pride and Prejudice

Moral Dilemmas

"She can sleep with me tonight...which is going to feel very weird...but she is so upset, she will keep the other girls awake," Annie sighed as she tucked her duvet around Camilla. I nodded and frowned, because Karen was distraught, and completely inconsolable. Making her mother feed her, and then mess her, had been unnecessarily cruel, and Karen had resisted it, which had not impressed her aunt at all, of course. But it was what happened next that shocked me. Mrs Ellesmere had insisted that Madeleine Davenport should spank her errant daughter. Mama and I were not asked our opinions, not that I expected that I would be included, and Madeleine had complied, like a robot, expressionless and still sucking on her own pacifier. I had watched it all like a nightmare, as had Helen Hughes, but I had behaved, of course. Because I was a maiden and under discipline myself, and because I knew why Mama was not saying anything to stop the madness. "Do you agree?"

"Yes, Nanny." And Madeleine had not held back. I had paddled enough girls in my time to know, and she had really hurt her daughter. I was still shocked by the memory.

"You can wear that dress to dinner."

"Yes, Nanny." I replied, chewing my bottom lip.

"This is wrong Daphne...so wrong." Annie sighed, glaring at me. She was angry. I could see that, and understand it, but my instincts told me that it was not something I ought to discuss in my current position.

"Yes, Nanny."

"Her mother paddled her?"

"Yes, Nanny."

"After feeding and messing her?"

"Yes, Nanny."

"What the actual fuck, Daphne?" Annie shook her head, and took my arm, pulling me out of her room and out onto the nursery landing. "Is this your perfect community? Is this something you really want to be a part of? And don't just say .Yes Nanny' please!"

"It is not for me to question Mrs Ellesmere's decisions, Nanny."

"Yeah...well, your mother has fed and messed you plenty of times, of course."

"Yes, Nanny." I replied, because that was true. But it was different, and we both knew it.

"Was her mother under discipline?" Annie demanded, still gripping my arm.

"Yes, Nanny."

"She must be in her forties, Daphne?"

"Yes, Nanny."

"I'd rather go to jail, if it was me." Annie sighed, letting me go, clearly exasperated by me and what had happened to Camilla. "You had better go downstairs for dinner...I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, Nanny...thank you, Nanny." I said, making a small curtsey, even as she turned back towards her room, before heading down the stairs. I did agree with her, of course. Mrs Davinia Ellesmere was a bitch, as far as I was concerned, and I felt sorry for Camilla, but it was none of my business. All I cared about was my family. Helen and Colin were in an awkward position with Mr Ellesmere and I was not about to cause them any trouble. Because that would only get me into trouble.

"You both did well not to react...especially you, Daphne." Colin Hughes said, once we were all seated at the table, not eating lamb cutlets. "I am disgusted by this behaviour...it is mindless extremism...and I will try to do something about it, I promise."

"I did it for you, Papa...and for Mama," I replied, honestly. Helen reached out and patted my arm, and Colin sipped his wine. "But I hated watching it..."

"But if we object, Camilla might be taken back?" Helen pointed out. "She is much better off with us, darling?"

"I don't want that, but if I don't say something after this, I am complicit." Papa sighed, before taking another sip. "It is one thing being asked to renew our commitment to the doctrine, after Nicola's rebellion...if I am honest, I think that was good for us as a family...but I do not believe in this...regardless of the consequences."