Nanny Diaries 3 - Pride and Prejudice

The Initial Interrogation

"I just froze when she produced the silencer...and then it was too late." Mama explained the next morning as she helped me dress. She felt just a little embarrassed, I think, although no one thought less of her for obeying the doctrine.

"Helen, dear...it merely proves that you have been well-trained and that you reacted exactly as a pious Daughter of Eve should...I would have expected no less of you." Grandmama said sincerely, and kindly, I thought, from her seat by the window, supervising everyone with the usual wicked gleam in her twinkling eyes. "Daphne merely guessed her mother's intentions from a distance, and had time to react to her temerity...and she proved the efficacy of her own training by not causing a scene. But you both behaved very well, girls."

"Thank you, Grandmama." Both of us replied, more or less in unison, with Mama blushing almost as much as me.

"Such a shame that you did not, Catriona." Miss Knight commented, grinning at me as she walked around me, also concerned with my appearance. "Perhaps you thought that you were on the stage...from the way you projected your voice?"

"Maidens should be discreet...but I wanted to make a point..." Catriona smiled benignly at her lifelong companion, who was once her nanny and had probably smacked her bottom many times, not to mention messing and changing her.

"I am sure that the word 'stooges' will have been mentioned at the school gates this morning several times," Miss Knight suggested, whilst stepping forwards to fuss over the skirts of my dark green damask gown, as Mama finished buttoning me up. "But I do agree that something had to be said...and I am proud of both Helen and Daphne, too."

"Miss Ford and Susannah will be back from the school run soon...they can give us a gossip update." Catriona sighed, as if she did not care what anyone was saying about her, and would rather like to hear it all. "I am just glad I decided to take in the rehearsal after all...hearing the children sing was quite magical, I must say...and the look on your mother's face, Daphne...I will remember that for a very long time..."

"Catriona...we are talking about Daphne's mother?" Miss Knight chided, albeit gently. Their relationship was complicated and nuanced, from my point of view. Mama and I were definitely under Grandmama's control, and technically, as her companion, Miss Knight was in a similar position to her in theory. Certainly, whenever Catriona was given her pacifier, it was given to her by Miss Knight, but they were clearly friends, and they continually teased each other, and made jokes. But there was still something between them, especially in front of strangers. With us, at home, they were relaxed and friendly, until a formal moment arrived, and then Catriona became a Daughter of Eve, and Miss Knight became something else.

"Oh...yes...my apologies, Daphne."

"Grandmama...I do love my parents...but if I am honest, right now, I don't think I like them very much? Is that a horrible thing to admit, Ma'am?" I asked, looking from Catriona to Helen and then to Miss Knight, who was worrying at my sausage curls and the ribbons holding them in place. "It is probably a sin, Grandmama...I am sorry."

"No, dear...it is quite possible to love someone without liking everything they do or say...in most relationships, however close, there are always times when we do not see eye to eye. And Miss Knight is right, I should not have spoken so unkindly about your mother...I hope you will accept my apologies?" Grandmama replied, gently, still smiling at everyone. She seemed to be quite pleased with herself, whereas I was feeling a bit torn, if I am honest. I really did not want to argue with my mother, even if she was driving me insane. I was an only child, and I had been really close to both my parents, until I went to Norland and they moved. I suppose I was a little mollycoddled as a kid, because I was an only, and we did a lot together as a family, but that all changed when I went to college. I am not really sure why. I certainly objected to dad moving mum away from all her friends, and he probably objected to me objecting. But mum and I still talked two or three times a week, and exchanged texts daily. But then I had started working with the Hughes family, and everything had changed, somehow. I had not called as much, and I had to be almost forced to go and visit them, because I did not think of their new house as home. So, when they followed me to Meadvale, it ought to have been a chance to rebuild our relationship. I ought to have been happy that they had found the same peace within the community as I had, but of course, my transformation was not straightforward, and mum and dad had got involved in that, in ways I resented.