The Sword Maiden

A Question

I asked Redwar if I could tell Valeria and Derrek about Daxton's secret.  He said that Valeria already knew, and I was free to tell Derrek if I wanted.  

I found it ironic that Derrek had been so quick to pinpoint and label Redwar as Ravagerian, but he had yet to catch on to Daxton.  I knew his reaction would be the same as mine, and I hoped I could convince him not raise a fuss about it.  But I couldn't afford to not tell him, he needed to be aware of the potential snake in our midst.  

After Ladine and Axe had finished drinking, we tied them back up and went to grab the other two horses.  

I let Redwar handle Celestial.  I didn't want to accidently do something wrong with such a magnificent animal.  Although it was clear he was high strung, he was also very well behaved.  And attached to his owner, it seemed, as he nickered low at Simran as we passed him.  

It was then that I remembered the question that had been plaguing me, but I hadn't been able to ask Redwar just yet.

"Redwar?"  

"Hmm?"  

"Why...  Why didn't you let me run Corban through?"  

Now that I'd had several days been removed from the situation, I was unsure of myself.  Unsure of why I had been so eager to kill someone, even if it was my enemy.

Redwar looked over at me, quietly gauging my face and emotions.  "Are you sorry that I did?"  

I bit my lip.  "I...  I don't know.  I despise him, he ruined my life and all the hopes I had for it.  But I'm disturbed that I was so eager to kill." 

"You mustn't hate him."  Redwar's voice was strong with conviction.

I gaped at him.  "Why not?  I have every reason to."  

He shook his head.  "Maybe you do have every just reason to, but there is a whole other host of reasons to forgive him."   

"Such as?"  I shot back with venom. 

"Such as that if you don't, you'll forever be his prisoner."

We'd reached the stream by now, and the horses lowered their heads to drink.

"What do you mean?"  

"You will be a prisoner to hating him.  You don't see it now but that hate will grow and embitter you."

"You haven't spent much time longing for what you lost, except for your family of course.  That's prevented a stronger hate from overcoming you till now.  But don't let Corban have a claim on you because of hate." 

I twirled a piece of Clover's gray mane, still not quite ready to admit he was right.  "What are the other reasons?"  

"It clouds your judgement.  It causes you to take unnecessary risk to yourself and others, you can't think well because of it.  It gives you a desire to kill, which inevitably leads to killing others."  

This I had experienced for myself.  

"Hatred is a bitter poison, Ravine.  Trust me, I know.  So please, don't hate Corban, don't let him live in your head.  He's too much of a worm for you to worry about anyway."  

I cracked a smile at the last sentence.  "Alright, I'll...  I'll try to forgive him."  

"Good.  Maybe you'll even find you can pity him one day."  

"Pity him?"  That seemed too far of a stretch for me.  

"Yes.  He was born into a very savage society.  He's still living in it.  If I had to guess, I think the Thathian children he played with were the closest thing he had to friends."  His jaw set in a tight line.  "Ravagers, while they have use for Corban's kind as spies, still hate the 'half breeds' as they call them."