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All night I just tossed and turn my thoughts not letting me sleep getting forced to do something was not very much new for me and I was used to it all the time but what happened in the office between me and kai that was new, marriage!?! I was stil...

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All night I just tossed and turn my thoughts not letting me sleep getting forced to do something was not very much new for me and I was used to it all the time but what happened in the office between me and kai that was new, marriage!?! I was still 22 and had my whole life ahead of her but who was  I to think that kai would care at the crack of dawn i had enough and I decided to get up and go for a jog in the yard to let fresh air hit me and let the wind carry my thoughts with it.

I sit up and throw my legs off the bed and stand up and stretch oh god I have so many muscle cramps I think, I walk to the window and roll up the blinds and am blinded by the soft rays of the early morning sun and I just stood there watching as the golden glow  spreads across the sky as the sun chased the dark clouds away. When I was little me, my dad and mom  everyday would go to this park close to our neighbourhood and we would sit at this fountain and watch the sunrise and I used to love that moment me and my parents it felt like everything was right and perfect in my life until everything went downhill when I turned 10 , tears sprung to my eyes as I remembered the moment after that my life was just a cycle of loneliness and depression until aura was born and I had a will to continue you my life and then it hits me aura loves it here and she doesn't want to leave then whats the problem with me why is my heart constantly trying to pull me away from all of this like its telling me im gonna hurt myself if I walk down this path and just then I fell to the ground and everything broke around me and I cried and cried and cried until I had no tears left to cry.

After a few moments of being bawled up on the floor and I slowly stood up and everything started moving in circles around me but I had to go and take a shower and wash this mess I had made off before anyone knew I was crying, I am the type of person who doesn't like crying infront of others since it makes me look weak and broken which I am but I don't show and never will show.

I walk to the bathroom and walk inside and lock the door behind my back and stare at myself in the reflection and I find a very messed me looking back at me my hair was all tangled up and a mess, my eyes raw and red and my cheeks flushed and my neck red from me scratching it what the hell had I become I think where was the once happy nina? I knew where had I lost her?.

I strip off my clothes and throw them in the bin and inspect my figure in the mirror I was all skin and bones with boobs and an ass what was they're to love in me I think what was there that made kai so obsessed with me that he wants to marry me, no he's not obsessed he just has a reason to marry me he wanted to avenge something didn't he thats why he's doing all of this right?, no maybe I'm just paranoid I think.

I shake my thoughts to the back of my head and step into the shower and turn of the knob and warm water comes rushing over me I throw my head back let out a silent moan back home we never really had warm water even in winters since we had to pay an additional fee in water bills to get warm water and well we didn't have that type of money. Anyways I wash up quickly and change into a silk robe which was altered to fit me and and had Mrs solokov written on the back and it made my skin crawl I wanted to rip it off and cut it into tiny pieces and flush them down the toilet but I couldn't kai's voice in the back of mind repeating what he said "if u care about your sister and want to see her happy don't make stupid mistakes".

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