Made for crime

The Weight of Everything

Nina's POV

 My eyes felt swollen, like they'd been crying for hours. My throat was raw, a dry ache lingering where the sobs had torn through me. I hadn't moved from Rosetta's arms since I woke up in the bathroom. Her presence, her warmth, had been the only thing holding me together as I unraveled completely.

The bathroom light was still too bright, too harsh, and everything smelled like metal and salt. My legs felt weak, my wrists throbbing from the cuts I had made in a haze of desperation. The blood had mostly stopped, but the stains still remained—on the floor, on my skin, on Rosetta's clothes.

But it didn't matter anymore. The blood didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the suffocating weight pressing down on my chest, the crushing feeling that I'd never escape what had happened to me. That it was always going to follow me, like a shadow I couldn't outrun.I heard the door creak, and suddenly, the room felt even smaller. Kai was standing in the doorway, his face pale, his eyes dark as he took in the scene in front of him. His gaze went to the blood on the floor, then to me, to the cuts on my wrists.I

 saw his fists clench by his sides, his jaw tightening. There was a storm brewing in him—I could feel it from across the room. But he didn't say anything. Not yet.

Rosetta's arms were still around me, and for a moment, I stayed there, letting her hold me together, even though I knew she couldn't. No one could.

"Nina..." Kai's voice was low, strained, like he was trying to control whatever rage was boiling inside him. I didn't look at him, couldn't. I couldn't face the questions in his eyes, the disappointment I knew he must be feeling.

Rosetta pulled back slightly, her hands still resting on my arms as she wiped her own tears away. She looked between me and Kai, her lips trembling. "She needs you, Kai," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I think... I think she's ready to talk. She's been holding too much inside."

I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to talk, or to face any of this. But as I felt Rosetta's arms gently release me and Kai's footsteps approaching, I knew I didn't have a choice anymore. Everything I'd been trying to bury for years was coming up, and there was no stopping it now.

Rosetta stood up slowly, giving me one last reassuring look before she left the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her. And then it was just me and Kai.

I stared at the floor, my vision still blurred from the tears. I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes, to see the hurt or confusion—or worse, the pity—that I knew must be there.

For a long time, he didn't say anything. He just crouched down in front of me, his presence so much larger than the space we were in. His hands rested on his knees, his breathing steady, controlled. I felt him watching me, waiting."Kai..." I finally whispered, my voice breaking. "I... I didn't know what else to do."He didn't respond at first. Instead, I felt his hand gently reach for mine, his fingers brushing against my bandaged wrist. The lightest touch, as if he was afraid I might break apart completely if he pressed any harder.

"Talk to me, Nina," he said softly, his voice calmer than I expected. "Tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

I let out a shaky breath, my chest tightening again as I tried to find the words. I wasn't sure I even knew where to begin. Everything felt so tangled, so messy. How could I explain to him what was inside me when I didn't even understand it myself?"I..." My voice wavered. "It's just... everything. Everything that's happened. The kidnapping, the past... it's all coming back. And I can't... I can't handle it, Kai. I thought I was strong enough, but I'm not."

He was quiet for a moment, his thumb rubbing small circles against the back of my hand, grounding me in a way I didn't realize I needed. "You're stronger than you think," he murmured. "But you don't have to do this alone. You never had to."

I shook my head, tears blurring my vision again. "I've always been alone, Kai. Even before I met you, I was alone. No one could understand. No one ever saw the real me, not after what happened when I was a kid. I'm broken. I've been broken for so long, and I don't know how to fix it."

He squeezed my hand a little tighter, but still gentle, like he was holding something fragile. "You're not broken, Nina. You're hurt, yes. You've been through hell, more than anyone should ever have to go through. But you're still here. You're still fighting. That's not broken—that's strength."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted so badly to believe that I could get through this, that I could heal. But the memories... the nightmares... they were always there, lurking in the back of my mind, waiting to drag me down again.

"I thought I'd escaped it," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I thought I'd moved past what happened when I was thirteen. But when they took me this time... when they hurt me again, it all came rushing back. It felt like I was that scared little girl again, hanging from the ceiling, helpless, waiting for someone to save me."

Kai's breath hitched, and I saw the way his eyes darkened, his jaw tightening again. His free hand balled into a fist, but he didn't say anything. He just listened.

"They found me, back then. After days... weeks... I don't even know how long. But when they did, I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. The trauma... it took everything from me. It took years to recover, to even be able to talk again. And now, after what happened, it feels like I'm back there again. Like I'm thirteen again, and I'll never be able to escape."

Kai closed his eyes for a moment, his expression pained. When he opened them, there was a fierceness in his gaze that sent a shiver down my spine. "I'm sorry, Nina," he said, his voice rough with emotion. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, back then and now. But I swear to you, I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere."

I looked up at him, my heart twisting at the intensity in his eyes. He meant every word. But the fear... the fear was still there, clinging to me like a second skin.

"What if I can't move on?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "What if this is who I am now—someone who's always afraid, always haunted by the past?"

Kai leaned closer, his hand cupping my cheek, his touch warm, steady. "Then we'll face it together. You don't have to fight this alone anymore, Nina. I'll fight it with you, every step of the way. I don't care how long it takes. I'm not letting you go."

The tears spilled over again, but this time, they weren't from fear. They were from something else, something softer, more fragile. A tiny sliver of hope, maybe. That maybe, just maybe, I didn't have to carry this weight by myself anymore.

I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes as his forehead rested against mine. For the first time in what felt like forever, I let myself breathe.

Kai wasn't going to leave.And maybe, just maybe, I could heal.