Made for crime

Cracks in the Calm

It started with something small, as these things usually do. But when you're married to a man like Kai, small things can turn into avalanches, burying everything underneath.I was in the kitchen just washing a few dirty glasses since i didnt want to put too much pressure on the poor maids since theyre human  too. The sound of water splashing into the sink did nothing to drown out the laughter coming from the living room. His laughter.

Kai was on the couch, voice relaxed as he spoke on the phone, completely lost in his conversation. I knew who he was talking to—probably one of his men or some shady contact in his endless network. It always came back to them, the business, the people pulling him deeper into the life he'd sworn would never touch us.

*Touch us*. What a lie that had turned out to be.

I dropped the plate in the sink with a clatter, wiping my hands on the towel, my pulse rising with the steady beat of frustration. We hadn't been the same since the wedding. At first, I told myself it was just the adjustment to married life. But lately? Lately, it felt like I was invisible. Kai wasn't seeing me anymore, not the way he used to. The man who once held me like I was his world now couldn't even look away from his phone.

i  heard his voice drift in from the living room. "Don't worry, it's handled. Yeah, no loose ends."

*Loose ends*. Everything in Kai's world had to be tied up, neat and controlled. Except when it came to us.

I stormed into the living room, the irritation bubbling up so hard it burned in my chest. "Kai."

He didn't even look up at first, his attention still on his phone, voice smooth and easy. "Yeah, I'll send someone by tomorrow." He finally glanced my way, raising an eyebrow at my tone. 

"solnishka, give me a second."

I crossed my arms, forcing myself to stay calm. "No, I won't. I'm done waiting, Kai."

He sighed, hanging up the call with a quick, "I'll get back to you," before setting the phone down on the table. He leaned back on the couch, his usual casual arrogance written all over his face. "What's going on?"

i stared at him for a long moment, struggling to find the right words. "What's going on? Really, Kai? You've been checked out for weeks. You're always on the phone, always handling 'business,' and meanwhile, I'm over here managing everything else on my own."

His expression shifted slightly, irritation flashing in his eyes. "What do you want me to do, Nina? You knew what my life was before we got married. This isn't anything new."

"That's not the point," I snapped, my voice trembling with anger. "The point is, I don't feel like I'm part of your life anymore. 

He frowned, clearly not expecting this. "What are you talking about? You *are* my life."

I shook my head, the lump in my throat growing as I fought to keep my emotions in check. "Then why don't you act like it? Why do I feel like I'm the last thing on your list?"

Kai's face hardened, his jaw tightening. "Because I'm trying to keep you safe, Nina. You don't get 

it. Everything I'm doing is for you."

"I never asked for that!" The words burst out before I could stop them. My voice cracked with the weight of everything I'd been holding in. "I didn't ask for you to get lost in this world, to get deeper and deeper until I don't even recognize you anymore."

Kai stood up now, towering over me, his eyes darkening with frustration. "You think this is easy? You think I want to be neck-deep in this shit? I'm doing what I have to, to protect us, to keep us alive."

"But at what cost?" I whispered, feeling the tears sting my eyes. "Because right now, it feels like I'm losing you. Like I already have."

His face softened for a second, like he was about to say something, to reassure me, but then he pulled back, his expression closing off. "This isn't a fairy tale, Nina. This is real life. You knew what you were getting into when you married me. I never lied about who I am."

"I know who you are," I said, my voice breaking, "but that doesn't mean I don't miss the man who used to *be* here. The man who used to make me feel like we were in this together."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "You think I'm not here? I'm right here, every damn day, busting my ass to make sure we're safe, that you don't have to worry about a thing."

"But I *do* worry!" I cried, my frustration spilling over into anger. "I worry every time you leave the house, every time you take one of those calls. I worry because I don't know if you're coming back. I don't know if the next time you step out that door will be the last."

Kai's face darkened, the calm mask he wore slipping. "You think I don't worry too? You think I don't feel the weight of all of this on my shoulders? I'm trying, Nina. I'm trying to balance this life, to keep us safe, but you don't make it any easier when you throw this shit at me."

My chest tightened, his words cutting deep. "I'm not throwing anything at you, Kai. I'm telling you that I'm scared. I'm telling you that I'm tired of feeling like I don't matter to you anymore."

He looked away, his jaw clenched, his voice low and dangerous. "I don't have time for this right now."

That hit me like a slap. I stared at him, feeling my heart twist painfully in my chest. "You never have time. That's the problem."

Kai's eyes flickered back to mine, something like regret flashing there for a second before he hardened again. "You don't get it. If I don't handle this, we're both dead. This isn't about 'us' anymore—it's survival."

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words crashing down on me. I knew the risks. I knew the life we lived wasn't safe. But hearing it like that, hearing him say that our relationship wasn't even the priority anymore—it shattered something inside me.

"Maybe that's the problem," I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe surviving isn't enough."

Kai's face twisted with anger, but there was something else behind it—something like hurt. "So 

what? You want out now? You want to leave?"

My heart ached at his words. "No, Kai. I don't want to leave. But I also don't want to be alone in this anymore."

He stared at me for a long moment, the tension between us so thick it felt like it might snap at any second. Then, he let out a harsh breath, his voice cold. "Fine. Be alone, then."

I froze, my breath catching in my throat. "What?"

"If that's how you feel," he continued, his voice sharper now, "then go. You don't need me, right? So go ahead. Walk away."

His words were like knives, cutting deep into the raw places I'd been trying to hide. But I couldn't back down now. Not when it felt like I was losing him, like I was already too far gone.

"I'm not walking away, Kai," I said, my voice shaking. "But you're pushing me away. And if you keep doing that..."

I couldn't finish. I didn't want to. But the unspoken truth hung in the air between us—if he kept going like this, if we stayed on this path, there might not be anything left to save.

He stared at me, his expression unreadable, and then he turned his back to me, his voice low and flat. "I don't have time for this right now."

And just like that, it was over. I stood there, my heart breaking into pieces I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to put back together, while Kai walked away, leaving me in the silence of our crumbling world.