If only

Chapter 103

Alejandro | 5 years later | TW

Five years today. Five fucking years. Five years five without my best friend. First year was complete and utterly torture. The house was silent, due to Blaise and Gino's parents moving to France to get away from all the danger.

They also didn't like seeing their son the way he was. Constantly drinking, always drunk. Davinas parents moved back to New York having no purpose of being here. Last time you guys heard from me, I was in a dark spot. Drinking even doing drugs.

But, someone stopped me. Someone saved me. My daughter, I didn't want her seeing me intoxicated her whole life. I didn't want her to live with what I lived through. This one night, coming home from driving all night clearing my mind she was around two years old.

She had stayed up, til I got home.

" Daddy? " Lilith questions, as I open the door slowly. " My love, why are you up? " I ask, frowning as I close the door from behind me. " Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you got home okay " she says, looking down frowning. " Can I say something " she says, as I take off my shirt. I hum in response, climbing into bed.

" Why do you always come home, late or your breath smells nasty " she says, looking at me. " Oh baby " I say, frowning once again. " I just- I do that to cope with something " I say, fake smiling as my eyes begun to sting. My eyes were then tearing up " cope with what? " She asks, tilting her head curiously. For a two year old, she speaks so properly you could have a whole conversation with her.

" Your mother, loosing your mother " I say, a tear finally leaving my eye. She then cups my cheek, wiping my tear with her thumb. " What was she like? " She asks, I then smile. She removes her hands from my cheeks, grabbing my hand interlocking our fingers. My hands, oversizing her small hands.

" She was amazing. She reminds me a lot like you, your eyes she had, your smile she had, your giggle she had, the dimples she had everything you have she had a little bit of it to " I say, a smile forms on her face her dimples showing. " Really? " She asks, curiously I then nod. " Whats that? " She asks, pointing to something on my chest. I look down, seeing she was pointing to the tattoo over my heart. " Oh that's an angel, with your mothers name including her birth and death date " I say, nodding.

" Oh, how come uncle Blaise is never home? " She asks, frowning. " Love, he's also dealing with a loss " I say, with my eyes saddening. " Oh, who? " She asks, she has plenty of questions. I never really tell her that much about her mother or Davina. I know it was selfish, but it was to fucking hard for me.

" Davina, my best friend. Uncles wife, the love of his life " I say, she then frowns again. " Oh, I feel bad for uncle Blaise " she says, fidgeting with her fingers. Along with the ring, I bought her when she was just a few months old.

Inside it read " I love you " then my matching ring said " forever and always ".

She then has a necklace with her mothers ashes. I gave it to her when she turned one. I had an angel once she had a heart. " I do to, she was my best friend " I say, another tear slipping away. " Can I ask you something daddy? " She asks, I nod repeatedly wiping away my tears.

" Could you stop, drinking that nasty thing that makes your mouth smell nasty. And put me to bed at my bed time? " She asks, that's when I realized. My own daughter, was telling me to get my shit together. That's a fucking shame. Ella would be so incredibly disappointed, especially that I was drinking while she was born. " Yes baby, I'll do whatever you like " I say, she then smiles excitedly.

" Can you tell me a story, to help me sleep? " She asks, laying down her head hitting the pillow facing towards me. I smile, nodding. I then pull the covers, over Lilith and I covering our bodies. " Once upon a time, a boy and a girl met due to the boys best friend " I say, smiling as she looks into my eyes. " She was the best friends, little sister. When first meeting her, he was absolutely stunned by her perfections. Her voice, was music to his ears at such a young age. It was sort of love, at first sight? " I say, she then smiles.

" Years of getting to know her brother, and her he got to know the real her. Ups and downs, thick and thin everything in between. Was there for her, when she got her first boyfriend, but realizing he was in love with her had been for five years. But didn't realize that til, she thought she was in love with another man " I say, she frowns. " He admitted his love to her, she was stunned at first but finally admitted the forbidden feelings she felt also " I say, sighing. Not realizing, a tear slipped from my eye. " They couldn't do anything, he was her brothers best friend. It was a forbidden love story " I say, I then see her eyelids fighting to stay open mentioning she was getting sleepy. " They then eventually, said freak it and got together. Months into the relationship, they decided they wanted a baby. So they decided to have a baby, and then got married " I say, her eyes lightly close telling me she had fallen asleep.

" Then they lived happily ever after, in another lifetime " I whisper, another tear leaving my eye.

Laying down beside her, I watch her breathing steadily sending calm nerves throughout my body. Knowing she was sleeping, calmly and breathing made me happy.

Feeling a wave of tiredness, wave over me I decide to close my eyes instantly giving. The darkness then consumes me.

That was the night, I stopped drinking. The day, I got clean for her. And I'll remain clean for her. For Ella. " Dad? " I hear my daughter call, as she comes from downstairs.

I turn around to see her coming downstairs, in a flower dress. " Yes princess? " I ask, as she approaches me. " I love you " she says, smiling as she sits beside me. " I love you more " I say, kissing her cheek. She then erupts in giggles, as I tickle her.

Blaise

5 years ago today. Wow five years ago today, she's been gone. Here I am, sitting on the grass in front of her grave stone.

There it read; Davina Valentino.
Would've been a great wife, a great friend, the laughter in the room.
" I hate to leave you all behind, but we'll meet again one day. "

Shedding a tear, cleaning her gravestone making sure it wasn't dusty. I had been doing this every holiday, especially the day she had died along with her birthday. " Oh my love where to start " I say, putting down the cloth. " Not one day goes by, without me thinking of missing you " I say, with my voice breaking. " My heart longs for yours sweetheart " I say, fidgeting with my engagement ring I never took it off.

" I wish you were with me " I say, multiple tears leaving my eyes. " Why did you have to leave me so soon? " I sob, looking at her grave stone. " Our story, wasn't supposed to end like this " I say, more tears leaving. " Wanna know something? " I ask, sniffling I waited as if she'd answer. " I'm going to AA meetings " I say, beginning to fidget with all my rings.

" After you passed, I was a raging alcoholic. I know, you had told me to stop drinking but loosing you was like you took the other half of my heart away " I say, sobbing. " I fucking miss you so much " I say, with tears streaming down my face. " I wish you could be here to comfort me, to make me smile, genuinely fucking smile " I whisper yelled. My heart longed for hers, my heart needed it's other half. " If only forever actually meant forever " I say, more tears streaming down.

" I guess it was really true, our love was only made for movie screens or should I say chapters? " I say, painfully chuckling. There I stood over my wife's grave, mourning the love of my life.

I guess all good things must come to an end.

A / N - Oh my loves, this is the end of their story. If only they got their happy ending they deserved. They deserved so much better. Fuck the author. Anyways, feel free to correct my misspellings / grammar mistakes etc . Would you guys, like an alternative ending, for those who are supposed " heart broken ". If not this, will conclude if only.

PS - this book will be under editing, I will start when my school goes on winter break or sooner <33 .

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