Want to kill {James Barnes}

Part 6- Honesty is a Blossom

James's Pov—
Damn she is so beautiful, why can't I just tell her how I feel? Is it too soon? Am I rushing into things too fast? She puts her hand on my chest and starts rubbing,"that was amazing, you are amazing" as she is hiding her head in my chest, making me feel so lucky. "You drive me crazy, I think-" as I pull her head up to look at me, but wasn't for sure if I should tell her I'm falling for her deeply. I don't want to make her uncomfortable, we only went out on two dates. What if she doesn't feel the same way?
"You think what?" As she is giving me a worried look, oh no she might think bad about herself, I need to just say it. "Beck, I know we only known each other for a couple days and only been on two dates" as I get up to get on the edge of the bed. I look back at her grabbing her hands into mine, "but you make me a better man, and you let my emotions get the best of me, in a good way" giving her a soft smile.

Damn this is harder than it looks, "what I'm trying to say is, I'm crazy about you and I don't see how I can be with someone else that makes me feel this way" my eyes are starting to tear up, I look down at our hands. "Beck, I-I think, no I know I'm falling in love with you" as I'm looking up locking with her gorgeous green eyes. Waiting for her to say something anything, but she just keeps looking at me speechless.

Back to Beck—
Omg he just said he's falling in love with me...what do I say? Omg talk woman he'll think you don't feel the same way. "James, I'm so happy to be with you, you always make me feel safe and warm inside every time I'm with you" I can't look away from him I'm too deep into his ocean eyes. "I'm falling for you too, and I was too scared to say something because I wasn't for sure if you felt the same way, but now that I know, I'm even more happier" as we both smile with our eyes getting really teary. Trying so hard not to cry, because this man makes me open up when I was too scared to do with anyone. We both pull each other in for a soft gently kiss, I can taste his minty lips, and he smells like oak tree and pine with his cologne and I couldn't get enough of it.

"We should probably get dressed now" as he lets out a little chuckle getting up from the bed, holding out his hand to pull me up. "I'm going to take a shower, first" making my way to the bathroom, I turn around to look at him, "want to join me?" Shrugging my shoulders as I slowly enter the bathroom. He drops his pants on the ground and walk up to me, "of course" giving me a wink. I feel like I'm dreaming, but I never want to wake up....like ever.

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Scott, Jax and I are sitting at a restaurant eating lunch together, basically telling them all the details about what happened. "Honey I hope you clean up after yourself" As we all laugh at Scott's joke, I was so happy that I had them and James in my life, this seems to good to be true. "Hey, I may not know anything about sex but I know how to take care of myself" as I gently tap his shoulder, giving him a smile. "No but seriously guys, I don't know what I would do without you" as I'm grabbing both of their hands. "You guys are my family, I feel like I can tell you anything and you will be by my side" as my eyes get teary, so much a tear left my eye and down my cheek.
"Of course, we will always be here" as Jax gets up to give me a side hug and Scott on the other side give me a hug, making a hug sandwich with me in the middle. My phone goes off, I take it out of my purse, it is a text from an unknown person.

Unknown: this is your mother, I know you don't care about me anymore, and you shouldn't. But I just want to let you know, I'm sorry. I never wanted anything bad happen to you, and I did. I just want to meet up with you, and share a few minutes with you, just to see your face before I leave this world. I'm staying at the hotel shocard, no your father will not join us, not after everything you've been through. And I sadly let it happen. I just want the two of us to be together one last time.

"Beck" as I look up from my phone with tears pouring down my cheeks. "Yeah, I need to go, I'll talk to you guys later" as I get up from the table and head out the door. The cool breeze help a little bit, for being November, but I had no idea what I am feeling right now, my head is throbbing for me not to think clearly. My phone starts to ring, thinking it's her, but instead it is James, my heart start to melt with happiness seeing his name.

"Hey beautiful, everything ok?" as I'm breathing heavily, trying to find the words to say. "Your friends called me, they said you just left crying" trying so hard to hold back my tears right now, so he didn't have to hear me cry. "Umm, I'm not ok, I need you, and-and I-I" I started to have a breakdown, everything came flowing out. "I'm on my way" as he hangs up the phone. My legs gave out, leaving me to fall on the sidewalk against a wall. "Why" crying into my hands.

"Remember Beck, sunflowers are a natural beauty, just like you" as my Mom grabs my hand and we start to walk back home.

This was before everything went into a disaster because of my Dad. "Beck, wake up" as my whole body was getting shook, I flutter my eyes open, not knowing what's going on. I was in James's car as we are on the side of the road parked. "What happen?" Looking at James, seeing he looks like he is going to cry any second. "Umm I found you, passed out by a wall, and you scared the living shit out of me" as his eyes start to fill up, and his voice got a little choked up.

"I'm sorry James, I didn't mean to" as I look away feeling horrible at myself. He grabs my chin for me to look at him "it's ok, I'm happy you're ok now" as he pulls me closer for a kiss, it is a gentle but a deep kiss that I never wanted to let go.

We get my house, as we walk in I go straight to the couch and tap next to me for James to sit down with me. As he walks over and sits "so, the reason I had a breakdown is because my Mom texted me, telling me she's sorry, and she would like to spend a few minutes with me at least before she leaves this  world." Trying to hold back my tears again. "I'm so so sorry Beck. Are you going?" As he rubs my hands into his. "I'm going" letting out a big sigh relief, giving him a smile. He pulls up my hands and kisses them looking into my eyes. "Let's go to bed" as we both get up and head to the bedroom.

The next day came, and it was honestly the hardest thing in my life, the last time I saw my mother wasn't a very good time let me just say that. But I had to see her especially having that memory in my mind, was the best thing that ever happened to us. I get up and got dressed and was ready, ready as I can be. "Ok, I'm ready baby" as he gives me a confuse look. "Baby huh, that's new but I like it" giving me a peak on the lips.

We make it to the hotel, as I'm starting at the building wanted to move but I wasn't moving at all.  "Ready" James says as he rubs my back with his hands, knowing I'm nervous. "Yea" we both get out and make our way in. I walk up to the girl at the front desk, "I'm here to see Mary Taylor, my mother" as the girl is typing into the computer. "She is on the third floor in room 23B" as she points us into the right direction.

"Thank you so much" my heart keeps racing, but I'm happy James is by my side, I don't think I could've done it alone. We get to her door as I'm about to knock, I could hear my father in the room to, "you got to be fucking kidding me." As I turn to look at James. My mother is a lot of things, but I never thought she would lie to me like this. I wanted to confront her so badly, that my body took over. As I know it I'm knocking on the door like a maniac. "Oh god what the fuck is wrong with me" as I'm trying to figure out what to do, but it is too late. James is calming me down, rubbing my arms.

"Beck, what are you doing here?" As of course my father answers the door, "I'm here to see mom not you" giving him a death glare, since the last time I saw him James had to throw him out, because he refused to leave. I push my way through hitting his left shoulder back, seeing my mom weak on the bed. "Mom?" As she looks at me with a smile, happy to see me. "My Beck, oh how much I've missed you, I didn't think you would show" her voice has a raspy tone, and getting weaker by the minute.

I walk up to her cupping both of her hands into mine, my emotions got the best of me. I start to cry but not holding back at all. "Um, mom this is James my boyfriend" as I point in the direction James is at. James walks up to us "it's very nice to meet you Mrs. Taylor, you have a wonderful daughter" as he gently grabs her hand and kisses it, making her blush. "Thank you, so nice to meet you. Take care of her like how I should've" as her eyes get very teary, tears leaving and going down her cheek. At this point I couldn't be mad at her that she lied, I mean she needs someone with her.

"I know we just got here but, we need to get to work, but I'll see you tomorrow, and mom I forgive you" as I start to cry "I've only thought of the good memories between us" giving her a smile, and I lean in to kiss her cheek. "See you tomorrow baby" as we hug one last time before leaving.

As we get to the car James pulls me in his arms "hey, you ok?" Holding me tightly, feeling safe. "Yeah, it's just, it was hard seeing her like that" looking up at him, letting my extra tears fall from my cheek. "It's ok, we'll see her tomorrow, ok" as he opens the passenger door.
But little did I know, I won't see her tomorrow...