Want to kill {James Barnes}

Part 4- Flashbacks

"Hey B, I missed you so much" my dad says standing in my doorway, and I couldn't even move, traumatized. But then I slowly start to back away from the door. "How did you find me?" My voice quavering trying to pull myself together accidentally dropping my glass of wine. "You weren't really hiding" he gives me a creepy smile, as I'm picking up the pieces of the glass.

Is he insane? Does he not remember everything he has done to me? How he ruined my life? I then cut myself with the glass "fuck" as James walks over to help, I then get up to go to the kitchen to clean my wound on my hand. My Dad walks into my apartment without me saying anything, I look up at him "yeah, just come right in like you own the place" giving him a sarcastic tone.

"Sorry but I have really important news to tell you" as I'm wrapping my hand with paper towel trying to stop the bleeding. "Then tell me, so you can leave" as I'm giving him hand movements. James comes to the kitchen throwing away the glass. "Your mother is dying, " as he looks down sad, about to cry even. "And we would like it if you spend time with us before she is gone."

I'm so pissed right now I can't even think straight at this point. "Do you have no shame? Huh, do you really think I give a shit about her...or you for that matter?" Giving him a disgusted look, with an attitude. "This isn't about me, this is about your mother" as he looks up and getting strict with his voice.

My eyes start to fill up, trying to hold back so he didn't see I am weak. "Are you even sorry?" I breath out holding back my tears, "you ruined my life, you made it difficult for me to find love, or to be with someone and you come here to my home telling me I should just do it because it's not about you, it's about Mom"I could feel a tear go down my cheek.

James is behind me rubbing my back not knowing what's going on, but wanted to make sure I am ok. He moves closer to me, getting teary "I'm sorry, I am but I came here for your mother, she wants to see you" giving me a sad face. So he isn't sorry about the fact he abused me, or that he touched me. I scoffed "you want to know what you've done to me" as I lifted up my shirt, there's scars all over my stomach where he cut me.

He looks down right away, trying not to look. "Look at me, look at what you did" basically screaming at him, so mad that I can't think about anything right now. He looks up to see what he did, but I can see right through him, he didn't care, he only acted like it because James is here. "B, you will always be my little girl" as he said that, flashbacks were coming back and I didn't want to see him ever again.

I kinda laughed it off as I'm almost crying, "the last time you said that, you were raping me...your own daughter" my eyes couldn't handle it anymore all the tears started flowing out. My adrenaline was pumping to where I didn't feel my hand where I cut myself. James behind then understood why I freaked out that day when he took me home. "I think it's best if you leave" James says, knowing I couldn't handle it.

My father looks at James and gives him a little chuckle, "you don't know what's going on so back off" James steps forward, but I pushed him back, because I didn't want a fight. "Listen, your mother and I are staying at the motel in the city, come and visit us" as he is standing there waiting for my answer. I gave him a death stare "no, I won't....I don't want to see you ever again, if you do come near me, I will call the police" as I point to the door.

"I'm not leaving until you agree" getting strict with is voice again, then I turned my head to look at James and gave him a nod, telling him to throw his ass out of my apartment. He did just that locking my door behind him. I walk over to the couch, feeling nothing but numb, thinking this is all a dream. Wishing it was a dream. James comes to me sitting in front of me.

"You don't have to tell me anything, I have it figured out just by what happened" as he is rubbing both of my arms with his hands. I put my face down in my hands not caring about the wound and start letting everything out. "I-I'm s-sorry J-James" crying in my hands, he keeps rubbing me, giving me comfort.

"Hey" as he puts his hand on my chin to have me look at him. "There's nothing to be sorry for, you are a strong person and you're something special" he gives me a soft smile and hugs me giving me butterflies again. I pull back from the hug and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, not thinking straight.

"Oh I'm sorry" as I put my hand on my mouth, he then puts my hand down and grabs both sides of my face, stroking my cheeks and pulls me in with a passionate kiss. Butterflies were going crazy in my stomach, I could taste the wine of his lips and his tongue was grabbing mine into his mouth. Both of us smiling feeling it off our lips.

We pull away locking eyes, "I'm sorry if I was bad, I've never-" but before I could finish "you are amazing, you've been driving me insane" as he lets out a little chuckle. "Same here" as he gets up from in front of me, he lays on the couch lifting up his arm so I can lay on top.

Before we play anything I lifted up from him "can you stay here tonight with me, I'm afraid he might come back" giving him a worried look. "Of course" as he pulls me down to kiss my forehead. We cuddled up together watching a movie, until we fell asleep.