Love and Lies [Saioumami]

Time To Be Selfish

"Kokichi, I'm so sorry," Shuichi mumbled, scooting away from the boy after breaking the kiss.

Tilting his head to the side, Kokichi's brows furrowed in confusion. "Why are you sorry?"

"Well, you're dating Ludenberg. Oh God, I shouldn't have done that to you, I'm so sorry!" Shuichi buried his face in his hands. Fuck, why does nothing in my life turn out well? Kokichi observed awkwardly from the floor as Rantaro hugged Shuichi, comforting his boyfriend. What do I do, I want to be with them but Celestia's safety is important too. If I break up with her, who knows what her dad would do?

"There's something I need to talk to you two about actually, I just need to make a call first." Rantaro and Shuichi nodded at the boy as he rushed out of the room, yanking his mobile from his pants pocket and calling Celestia.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Celestia, listen I have a problem," Kokichi hurried.

"Calm down Kokichi, what's happening? Should I call the police?"

"No no, it's a soulmate problem. We all kind of talked and Shuichi and I might've kissed-"

"Congratulations, I'm happy for you."

"Yeah yeah, thanks but listen, you and I are kind of technically dating and remember how you asked if you could tell Kirigiri the truth? Can I tell Shuichi and Rantaro?"

"I do not believe it is a problem if you tell them. Ah, that reminds me, I would like to speak with you in person tomorrow. Would you like me to be there when you talk to them?"

"No that's okay, thank you, Celestia, thank you so much." Kokichi smiled to himself as he hung up the call, realising he might finally be happy. Dating my soulmates, am I really about to do this? The boy took a deep breath, calming his nerves as he reentered the room, noticing both other males talking on the bed as if nothing occurred. 

Noticing the worried expression plastered on Kokichi's face, the two turned to him and ceased their conversation. "What's the matter?"

"I have something to talk to you two about, something serious," Kokichi mumbled. He stood in front of his friends, fidgeting with his fingers as he stared at the ground. "Celestia and I aren't exactly in a proper relationship. Our parents forced us into it because, well, my parents wanted money and fame, and... I'm not sure about Celestia's side." That's another lie I've told them, but there's no way I'm telling them such a secret without her permission. "We're doing what we can to leave the relationship but, it's difficult, and I don't want to risk Celestia or her family suffering for it."

You can't consider it a lie if it's a half-truth, right? Kokichi continued to stare at his feet, the only sound in the room was the buzzing of the Nintendo Switch lying to the side. His hand stretched out as Rantaro pulled the supreme leader into the other two boys' laps, cuddling the smaller male. "I'm sorry you have to go through that, I can't imagine what it's like."

Pulling his knees to his chest, Kokichi curled into a ball as the other two held him, attempting to conceal his emotions that were threatening to spill from his eyes and throat. "I'm glad you decided to open up to us about it, despite everything that's happened," Shuichi mumbled, "and I'm sorry for not seeing it earlier."

"Same here Kokichi, there were a lot of signs and we should've seen them, as your best friends and soulmates." Rantaro apologised, twirling a lock of Kokichi's hair through his fingers. "I promise I'll do whatever I can to help you get out of your situation, whatever it takes, I'll do it."

"Murder."

"... What?" 

"You'll need to murder everyone to save me, my knights in shining armour," Kokichi chuckled, his light-hearted attitude returning. He took pride in the other two boys staring at him, their expressions telling him that they had no idea whether he was lying or not. "Jesus Christ you two! It's a lie! Duh!"

"Is it though? If you need someone to disappear, I could make it happen," Shuichi mumbled. Kokichi's face fell as he turned to the detective, caught off guard by the comment. Slowly freeing himself from the grasps of his soulmates, the supreme leader stood up, his gaze never leaving Shuichi. 

"Should we be concerned?" Kokichi mumbled, not expecting the conversation to take such a turn.

"Relax, I meant arresting someone, not killing them!"

"Sure," Rantaro elongated the word, disbelief seeping from every pore of his body. The three shared awkward glances before smiling simultaneously, evolving into a minute of laughter. Awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, the adventurer brought up the topic at hand. "Are we all dating now?"

Are we? I'm not too sure right now... I don't deserve to be in a loving relationship, my parents will never allow this anyway. "Kokichi, what's wrong?" Shuichi asked, reaching out to grab the boy's hand. "You look upset."

"Don't worry your pretty little face Shumai! You'll get wrinkles!" Kokichi chuckled, clutching the other boy's hand. "I'm not upset, I'm... Worried."

"What about? Is there anything we can do to help?" Rantaro questioned.

"No, it's just something I need to sort out with Celestia..." Kokichi sighed, unsure how to word his thoughts.

"You don't want to enter a relationship with us whilst you're with her, do you?" Shuichi asked, a smile dancing on his face as he analysed the boy's expression. "We won't be mad at you for that, we understand."

Kokichi threw his head back and stared at the ceiling. "Fucking detective, I can't get around you, can I? Even though Celestia and I aren't in love, it feels like I'd be cheating on her. Stupid, I know."

"That's not stupid Ko, and this might be for the best. If you're secretly dating us, your parents might find out. Your safety comes first." Rantaro reassured the boy, pulling him back into a hug. With the number of times you've come around to my house, they probably have a feeling something's going on. "I'll do anything to help, and I'm sure Shuichi will as well, especially since I feel horrible for not picking up on any of the signs. We've been friends for years, I should've known." Kokichi listened as the greenette sniffled, crying into the smaller boy's chest.

Kokichi stroked his fluffy, curly hair, watching as he flattened Rantaro's two ahoges before they bounced up again. "It's not your fault 'Mami, or yours, Shumai. I'm an expert liar and manipulator, so obviously I'm amazing at creating a false narrative. I've worked hard to hide all of this from everyone, and I'm sorry for not telling you both."

"We understand Kichi," Shuichi soothed, rubbing his thumb on the back of Kokichi's hand.

This feels so right, minus Rantaro's crying. Kokichi could feel his cheeks glow red, but he no longer cared. I want to be with these two for the rest of my life, Shuichi and Rantaro, my best friends and soulmates for life. Now I just need to figure out what to do about my parents and Celestia, I wonder what she wants to tell me?