𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 | Draco Malfoy

TWENTY | war of hearts

"Blair, look at me." There's no charm on his voice anymore, nothing to make it so low, so inhuman. No, I'm now listening to a voice that I've heard so many times, missed so many times, dreamed of day and night. I let out a hoarse sob, shaking my head. Everything was just a lie.

"I need to look into your eyes when I say it." He whispers. I don't want to know what he has to say, it will not change anything anyway. He's a murderer and he's been lying to me this whole time.

When I finally do open my eyes, I almost immediately forget the hate that I have in my chest. I look at the face of the man that I love, but he's not the same. That repressed darkness I've always seen with him is now who he has become.

"I love you, Blair," He says softly. I can't take it— I physically cannot bear this pain. "I love you so much, I have loved you all this time. I couldn't say it before because I wanted you to know all of me before you decided you open your heart."

I place my hand on the center of my chest, unsure if my heart is still beating. I'm truly the only one to blame. I wanted him to say those words so badly, swore I'd do anything just to have him say it. I promised I could never hate him. He listened to it all. My love for him is my weakness, and he's rubbing salt into my wounds.

He told me there was darkness inside of him and I still couldn't walk away, I wanted to have at least some part of him, something to keep me alive. How foolish I've been.

"I love all of you, everything about you. You're the love of my life, and I want you more than I want to breathe.." He says, pressing another kiss to my mouth that's gone so soon.

My voice is a shattered, hoarse thing when I bring myself to talk again. "H-How.. how could you..?"

He releases a deep breath, clenching his jaw the way he does when he's frustrated or angry.

"T-Tell me it's not true," I sob, placing a trembling hand on his cheek, and his gaze softens at my touch. "Tell me that y-you're not him, that he's not you, that the m-man I read.. I read about in the newspapers is not the same man that I loved.."

The look in his eyes proves me at once that he's not about to say what I want him to say. I see pity in his eyes for only a split second, then it vanishes like smoke. "I am him."

I take my hand away from his face, my skin cold. "It's not that you loved me, you still love me.." Draco says, cupping my chin in his hand.

"N-No, I don't.." I lie, wishing for once that I wasn't. He doesn't deserve my love.

The look in his eyes darkens to a shade I always associated with the Shadow, the midnight colors that haunt my dreams and swear to me that this kind of betrayal is a form of love.

"Yes, you do." He says sharply, sounding like he's trying to convince himself.

I curl my lip that still trembles uncontrollably, pushing his hand away from my chin. "You're a monster. You've been u-using me for your sick, sadistic games all this time. I-I never should have listened. I fucking h-hate you!"

My words make him flinch, yet it doesn't scare away that shadow looming over his head. What am I even expecting? I can't pretend as if it's just a small part of him, it's all of him. It's been all of him this entire time, he's just been a liar.