35 days clean
12:36 A.M
Sleep is a complicated thing
When it's all I want
It doesn't come
Leaving me curled up
Under the blankets
Desperately craving
An escape from reality.
1:41 A.M.
Fighting a losing battle
My chest feels like it's slowly collapsing
I can't breathe
It... burns
There's a war inside of me
It's so hard to keep going
I can't win
I know.
2:57 A.M.
I give up
Pulling back the blankets
Shivering lightly
As the cold creeps up my spine
The bed creaking softly
Like it's done a thousand times before
Each time
I gave up
My mind tries one last time
A feather against a wall of bricks.
3:02 A.M.
The door swings shut
Locking easily with a soft click
The house is silent
As I sink to the cold tiled floor
A flash of cold silver
And scarlet beads form delicate lines on my skin
Another flash
Then another
Steady streams of crimson pulse gently down my wrist
While tears flow freely down my face.
3:36 A.M.
It hurts
It hurts to move
It hurts to breathe
It hurts to roll my sleeves back down
To wipe the drops of red off of the pristine white tiles
While dizzy relief rushes to my head
The dull ache of regret stirs at the bottom of my stomach
Because now I'm back at the beginning
Again.
0 days clean
YOU ARE READING
Nighttime Musings
PuisiJust a bunch of poems I write while going through all the angsty teenage emotions :D NO I DO NOT NEED THERAPY- but you probably do xx
