With Every Gaze And Touch...

One day (part 2): Married, Two Children

After a few minutes, Serkan decided to look for Eda. He took the stairs and went back up to her bedroom. Their bedroom. He was a bit lost as to which one was the good one but he eventually found it, led by her beautiful voice that he could hear coming from inside.

He tentatively knocked on the door then opened it, not waiting for an answer. He stepped silently into the room and was met with the sweetest scene. Eda was sat on the bed, nursing baby Alp, gazing at him, while she sang a lullaby.

Serkan was sure she must not have even heard his knock because she looked completely immersed in the moment. He was mesmerized. Mesmerized by her beauty, mesmerized by the thought that she was carrying and nurturing their child.

At some point though she lifted up her head and stopped singing when she crossed Serkan's eyes. His heart sank to his stomach when he saw her smile falter and her eyes filling up with water.

He didn't think twice and went to sit on the bed next to her. He cradled her head and put it on his shoulder letting her completely let go as she sobbed. He stroked her hair softly and whispered sweet nothings to soothe her. He felt devastated to think that he might be the cause of her distress. It killed him inside.

"Eda, what is it? Why are you crying? Talk to me lütfen."

She didn't answer at first and he didn't insist. He felt powerless to help her when she wasn't giving him any clue but at the same time he knew somehow that she would open up sooner or later.

She eventually straightened up when Alp let go of her breast with a loud 'pop' and snuggled his sleeping face against her chest. Serkan felt a slight blush creep up his face as he diverted his gaze while she adjusted her clothes.

Even if in this reality or dream, whatever this was, they were married and had children – which meant that he most likely had seen more than just her breast to be honest – he still felt he couldn't do that out of respect for his Eda.

His Eda.

He thought about how she would react in his timeframe if he would ever tell her about it. She would surely insult him and say he was mad. And she would probably be right. Maybe he was becoming mad after all.

Eda adjusted the baby and focused solely on him while she bounced him up and down slightly. Serkan admired her silently, wondering what he should do or say that would make her smile again. Even in those two months he had learned to appreciate her dimpled smile and sparkling eyes.

"Do you want me to make you tea? Or maybe more pancakes? You didn't finish your plate earlier..."

"Yok. Thank you." She said with a sniffle, still not looking at him.

"Eda," he said with a pleading voice. "Lütfen, talk to me. I'm so sorry I made you sad. I know my behavior might have seemed unusual or crazy or stupid this morning but... I don't even know myself how all of this happened. I don't even know how I got here in the first place. And I'm already screwing it up. You have every right to hate me after all but as I told you before 'no one is worthy of your tears'. Not even me."

She finally looked up at him and frowned. "Did we not agree that you shouldn't say that ever again? I could never hate you Serkan. Never. And I am not crying over you. I am crying over me!"

She bounced Alp a bit more as he started fussing because of her slightly raised voice. When he settled down, she got up and went to put him in his crib by the bed. Serkan realized he must have missed it this morning when he woke up.

Eda came back to the bed then and sat back down.

"Why are you crying over yourself?" Serkan asked.